“The film?” I asked, somewhat hopefully. It had been more than just helping out a friend on a project. I’d hoped that it might start replacing the other clip in searches for my name.
“No, the news footage,” he said shortly, then turned his back abruptly and started talking to the person on the other side.
A cold feeling pooled at the base of my spine.
He knew who I was, and he’d decided to hate me already the first time we met.
I spent the rest of the meal sitting in silence, staring at my plate and trying to actually taste the food. Everything had an ashy kind of quality to it that I was sure was nothing at all to do with the restaurant.
I was never going to get away from this.
“Hey, Brody,” Keaton called over to me from further up the table, and I leaned forward to see him. “What was the name of that makeup artist?”
“Oh, you mean Glorious?” I asked with a grin. I knew immediately who he was talking about. This fabulous, over-the-top, amazing guy who went around with a full face of makeup and beautiful hair – but dressed in menswear underneath and identified fully as male. “He was the best.”
“I was thinking about getting him to work with me on my first feature-length film,” Keaton said, in a casual way that meant it took me a beat to realize.
“You’re working on a feature?” I exclaimed.
“Yeah, we’re in talks with a studio,” he said. There was a light flush of pride over his cheeks. “After the wedding, obviously. And it might not happen yet.”
“It’ll happen,” I assured him.
“Anyway,” Olly said, drawing Keaton’s attention back. “Tell the story.”
“Oh, right,” Keaton said, launching back into what was clearly the middle point of an anecdote for Cade and Aiden. I listened for a while, but none of them ever turned back my way.
I wasn’t part of the conversation.
That cold feeling at the base of my spine got even bigger.
I glanced around the table, taking the last bite of my food and putting my knife and fork down on the plate. No one was looking at me. None of them. Cade met my eyes but then quickly glanced back to Keaton, paying attention to his story.
They all hated me.
I’d spent years now meeting these people, hanging out with them at events and nights out and even on Keaton’s film sets. But none of them really liked me. Even Cade, who I considered to be a true friend, was on edge about talking to me with Aiden right there.
Even though they’d invited me in and tried to make me part of the group, I never truly would be. Not when all of them knew in the back of their minds that I had hurt one of their friends badly, even if it was long before we’d even gotten to know each other.
If I could have gone back in time and undone what I did, I would have. All of it. Not just the showing up for the news cameras – the cheating and playing around, the dumping Cade like he was nothing, the pushing people away.
I didn’t know back then how much I would need people on my side when it was all over. And now I had no one.
I finished off the drink I’d ordered, wishing I could have fifteen more.
“Is everyone done?” Keaton asked, standing up at the end of the table and looking around. There were general nods and confirmations from everyone. “Then we can head to the bar for some drinks. Nothing formal – if you want to go to bed, you can duck out at any time. We’ve got a full action-packed schedule ahead!”
Hallelujah. At least one thing was going right.
I stood up quickly. Since I was in the middle of the table, I ended up being one of the first people to reach the bar, standing and leaning against it on my own. I had a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach – watching the others get up in pairs and groups. They were couples and friends and already-established cliques. But me? Where did I fit in?
Or was I just supposed to stand alone at the bar for the rest of this trip?
There were others staying at this hotel – maybe I’d be able to meet someone. But that wasn’t exactly a great way to spend a trip that was supposed to be for a bunch of friends to get together. Once again, my thoughts swung in the direction of leaving.
People came to prop up the bar, but none of them stood next to me. I ordered my drink and stood there awkwardly. I was the only one in the whole place who didn’t have someone to talk to. Just me.
I felt prickling behind my eyes and willed myself not to give in and cry.
