Oh, god. I wanted to kiss him again. It wasn’t right or fair for a straight guy to kiss as well as that.
I looked at the page of my book I’d turned to and realized I had no idea what it was about. I flicked back to the previous page guiltily and started reading the words in my head as loudly as I could to drown out any other thoughts that might rise up. I needed to concentrate.
If I was going to be trapped down here, the least I could do was study.
I managed to concentrate pretty well, too, until Aiden got up to add some more wood to the fire and bent down right in front of me, then squatted to finish the job.
Which had my thoughts spiraling off in all kinds of inappropriate directions yet again.
Including the fact that, I realized with horror, our beds were still pushed up together – which meant I was either going to have to sleep right next to him tonight or find some awkward way to move them apart, even though it meant I was going to be cold most of the night.
“What do you want for dinner?” Aiden called from across the other side of the room, and I realized he was standing in front of our piles of rations. He had a light smile on his face, a teasing look, though it seemed a lot weaker than his smiles had this morning.
“Oh, um, whatever you want,” I said. I put my book down, regretting the fact that I’d only managed to read a couple of chapters in the end. I’d wasted most of the afternoon in mental turmoil. “I really don’t mind.”
“Yeah, it’s not as if it’s very exciting,” Aiden said. He made a face as he bent to swipe a few things from the piles. “I can get you chips, a cookie, and a candy bar, with a banana?”
“Sounds good,” I agreed quickly, not really caring one way or another. We weren’t exactly expecting gourmet food here. Even if we were, I probably wouldn’t have been able to enjoy it with all the thoughts buzzing around in my head. “I’ll grab some water.”
“Thanks,” Aiden said, brushing by me on the way back across to the table as I rushed for our stacks of bottles. He laid everything out as I rushed back and sat down again, and then we were facing each other over that tiny table and everything was way too close all over again.
I cleared my throat. “Looks great,” I said, though my voice was weak and I had no idea why I had tried to compliment Aiden on bringing over supplies from our limited stash, given he didn’t have much choice.
“It looks okay,” Aiden chuckled. He was looking at me and I could feel it. It wasn’t fair that he was so open and confident in everything he did and I was the one left staring at the table and unable to meet his eyes – when he was the one who had started all this. “It’s going to keep us going, at least.”
“Right,” I chuckled uneasily, taking my cookie out of the brown paper bag and biting into it.
I was hungry, actually – I hadn’t really noticed until now, what with all the other thoughts crowding around inside my head. The chips were good – in the way that all food tasted pretty good when you were hungry – and I made short work of the whole packet, eating them all down without looking up.
“Maybe we should have had more for lunch and breakfast,” Aiden said, and I looked up, at last, to realize he was watching me with concern.
I swallowed my mouthful and shook my head. “I’m fine,” I said. “I guess earlier just took it out of…” I froze, not wanting to end the sentence.
Why had I brought that up?
What the hell was wrong with me?
Aiden said he was the one who always blurted out whatever was on his mind and got himself into trouble. If that was the case, then it looked like it was catching.
“I guess it did,” Aiden said, grinning cheekily at me and taking another mouthful of his own chips. He looked…
Pleased?
Like he was pleased with himself for being able to make me do that?
Was that all this really was? He wanted to prove he could make a gay man cum? He wanted to show off how hot he was to both men and women?
I wished I could understand what he was thinking. Even more than that, I wished I had the guts to actually ask him. But that was never going to happen, so I was just going to have to sit here and stew.
I peeled my banana and bit into the top of it. When I went for my second bite, Aiden made a choking sound that had my gaze flicking right up to his immediately in concern – and then made me freeze yet again.
He was watching me eat the banana, his eyes fixed firmly on my mouth. His own mouth was hanging slightly open. Then his eyes moved up and met mine and all of a sudden I wasn’t just eating a banana.
I was somehow managing to flirt with a sexually suggestive gesture even though I hadn’t meant to at all.
I was stuck.
I had no other choice.
