I cleared my throat and let go. I waited for him to pick himself up before I stepped back, not wanting him to fall.
My body felt cold in the absence of his pressed against me.
“Well, we should finish our game,” I told him, my voice sounding gruff and tense all of a sudden even to my own ears.
Cade
I slumped down on my side of the bed, leaning against the headboard, lifting the book in my hands to try to focus on it. A whole day before I could find out for sure if Caleb was alright – and there didn’t seem to be enough distractions in this small cabin to stop me from worrying about it.
Sitting like this, I could easily glance down at Aiden. He was sitting on the floor with his back againsthisside of the bed, so we were almost aligned and yet facing in opposite directions. He’d chosen one of the books out of my pile – I’d brought one single novel, which I was sure was a relief for him – and settled down to try and read it now that we seemed to have exhausted the possibilities of the couple of games we’d tried from the shelf.
I did glance down at him now, and wished I could stop. Everything seemed to be so heightened down here. Surely, it was just my imagination. But it was a surprise for him to take hold of my hands in the first place, and then I was sure there were sparks flying between us when he did. When he hugged me, he held on for far too long – and it felt far too good in his arms.
And then he’d pushed me away as if nothing had happened and tried to pretend like everything was normal, which for me was a surefire indicator that it wasn’t.
But the situation we were in wasn’t normal to begin with, which left me even more confused than I normally would have been about exactly what all of this even meant.
Of course, it was more than possible it was just wishful thinking – just me reading way too much into things that weren’t even there. Who could blame me? I wanted them to be there with Aiden. He was damn hot. Even under layers of flannel and a thick jumper, looking at him made me think about running my hands all over his ridiculously tight body.
Aiden’s eyes flicked up to mine and I quickly looked away, furiously training my eyes on my book.
“What?” he asked. Apparently, my extremely clever subterfuge had not worked. Go figure.
“Nothing,” I said quickly, turning the page of my textbook. I hadn’t read a single word of it, but turning the page at least made it seem like I wasn’t completely and utterly distracted.
“Really?” Aiden asked.
“Just looking around the room,” I said grimly, one inch away from gritting my teeth.
“Oh,” Aiden said. We sat in silence for a short while. I was so tense I would have noticed a moth beating its wings on the other side of the room. When he spoke again, his voice sounded like he was trying way too hard to be casual. “Only, I thought you were staring at me.”
“Why would I do that?” I asked defiantly. I didn’t like where this was heading. The straight jock refusing to leave the gay nerd alone. I’d been blessed not to get into any trouble in high school, but I’d seen enough movies and heard enough stories.
“Because you’re attracted to me,” Aiden said, so matter-of-factly that it made my jaw drop.
I swallowed. “Just because I’m gay and I find you attractive, doesn’t mean you’re in danger of me jumping on you,” I said. “Let’s just get that out of the way now. I’m not going to try and force you into something just because we’re trapped in the same place.”
Aiden cleared his throat. “I wasn’t thinking that.”
“You weren’t?” I asked, almost snapping at him. If he wasn’t trying to warn me off, then why was he being so obtuse about bringing this up and making the atmosphere feel so awkward?
He turned a page in his book as if none of this was of any consequence, but I had a feeling he was reading even less than I was. “I saw you this morning,” he said. “After I gave you a massage. You grabbed the pillow to hide yourself.”
“So what?” I asked. Now my teeth were definitely gritted. If this was leading to a beatdown or something…
“You were hard,” Aiden said. He turned to look at me, meeting my eyes and letting the book fall against his leg. “Weren’t you?”
I was once again left speechless by how openly he spoke, how he didn’t seem to have a single filter in place before he opened his mouth.
I swallowed again and looked down, but his eyes drew me back like a magnet. He was so open, it was like I couldn’t lie to him in response. “Yes,” I said. “It doesn’t mean anything.”
Aiden’s eyes darted away, down towards the book as if he was really paying attention to it, but his head stayed tilted towards me. “Oh,” he said as if considering. His face was almost blank, unreadable, but I could swear he looked just a tiny bit disappointed. “I think it meant something when I did.”
I blinked. “When you did what?” I said, not at all comprehending.
“When I got hard.” Aiden looked at me again, right in the eyes. “Last night, when we were in bed together.”
I breathed hard, flaring my nostrils to try to avoid showing how much his words were making my heart race. “You were awake?” I asked, my mouth speaking without my brain’s permission. It was only after the words left my mouth I realized I was giving away the other side of the truth: that I had been awake and knew all about it.
