“That,” he says, shaking his head and pointing to the words as if they need emphasis, “is the part I can’t stand.”
“Believe me, I know there’s a lot you can’t stand.”
Colson scoffs, puts his hands on his hips, and looks around the room like he’s looking for the next move. The puzzle piece. When his eyes are on mine, I suddenly can barely breathe. They are like waters I dream of swimming in.
He goes still. For a beat, the only sound is the rain hammering the roof. He says nothing as he walks toward me; when he’s standing only a step away, all I can think about is how I wish I could get my teeth to stop chattering. His face softens as he takes a breath. “You know what I can’t stand? How much it hurt for me to see you out there. How panicked I was. How the only thing I could think about was getting you inside and keeping you safe.”
The words are honest and clear. His eyes scan my face like he’s trying to find the tell. The way he looks at me is like the answer should’ve been obvious all along.
He cares.
My chest tightens as his hands grip my upper arms. When they rub the towel, like he’s trying to keep me warm, he continues, “I don’t know when it happened, but you matter in a way I wasn’t prepared for.” He looks around like the words may or may not be on the ceiling.
And then he says, “You fucking matter, Sadie.”
Did I feel a pull to him? Yes. But I never thought it was something he also felt. My dreams were the only place a version of this conversation could happen.
“I do?” The question feels rhetorical but I’m trying to keep this all straight.
“Yes. You do. And I can’t sit back and watch you do things like that.” He tips his head toward the outside.
His chest rises and falls quickly, matching his breathing. My hand, pruny from the water, lightly rests on him, the feel of his muscles underneath my palm grounding me to the moment.
Silence crashes down, thick and trembling. I stare at him, the truth finally clear in a way I can’t ignore.
Gripping the front of his shirt, trying not to lose my nerve, I say, “Then take care of me, Colson.”
Before his name is off my lips, Colson is kissing me.
twenty-three
Colson
Icouldn’ttakeitanymore. Or at least that’s what I’m telling myself.
When Sadie leans into me, her hips pressing flush against mine, the groan that tears from my chest surprises us both. I’m moaning into her mouth, into this kiss that’s turning messy and desperate in the best way. Her lips part a little, and I take the invitation without thinking—brushing my tongue against her lower lip, tasting her. Then she meets me, her tongue sliding against mine, slow at first, then sure.
A brief, breathy sound escapes Sadie, right into my mouth, and it does something reckless to me. It’s almost unraveling the knots in my chest that have been pulling each time we’ve been together.
She loops her arms around my neck, pulling me closer, like she’s afraid of the space. Believe me, she’s not the only one. I let go of her wrist and slide my hands to her waist, my thumbs pressing into soft skin, which is pebbled with goosebumps, anchoring her there.
Like she knows exactly what I’m about to do, she dips slightly. I lift her, her body fitting against mine like it’s always belonged there. Her legs wrap around my waist without hesitation and her fingers slide into my hair. At first they’re gently combing through, but then she tugs, enough to make my breath hitch.
I don’t break the kiss. I can’t. I turn us, moving through the kitchenand down the hall to the bathroom, muscle memory and need guiding every step. She pulls back barely, long enough to catch her breath, her forehead brushing mine.
“What are you doing?” she asks, voice gentle but curious, like she already knows the answer.
I steal another kiss before I reply, slower this time, deliberate. “Taking care of you.”
Her laugh is quiet, shaky, but she doesn’t argue. I set her on the counter, my hands lingering at her hips as I step back only enough to turn on the shower. The sound of rushing hot water fills the space, steam already beginning to curl into the hallway—warm, promising, and full of what comes next.
I step between her legs as her hands run up and over my chest. I rush to taste her and she bites at my bottom lip. She uses her hand to push me back, her eyes taking in the scene around her.
“Is this real?” A grin pulls at her lips.
I answer her with a kiss and my hands on each side of her face, like I can’t touch enough of her. I stop only to say, “Yes, this is real.”
The way Sadie smiles into the kiss is something that cracks my chest open. Makes mefeelfrom the top of my head down to the tips of my toes. It’s in this moment I know this is different. This kiss is everything. It’s hot. It’s running deep. It’s the kind that has me in deep fucking trouble.
