I shake my head. “Hope hurts.”
Lawson stands then, crossing the room in two strides before crouching in front of me next to Jas. He looks at me carefully. “Then we’ll carry it,” he says. “The hope. The anger. The grief. Whatever you don’t feel like you’re strong enough to hold, let us carry.”
His thumb brushes beneath my eye, catching a slow tear. “You don’t have to be alone with this. Not anymore. But just so you know,” he adds, “you are strong enough to carryanything.”
I look at them as they surround me, listening without trying to fix, furious on my behalf, but still respecting what I want. “I don’t want to live in the past anymore. But I don’t want to forget her either.”
“You won’t,” Lincoln says immediately. “Not with us.”
Jasper nods. “She’s yours. That makes her ours now, too. We won’t let you forget her.”
My chest aches as I press my face deeper into Lincoln’s shoulder and allow myself to cry.
And for the first time since that morning at the coffee shop, it doesn’t feel like I’m carrying her disappearance alone.
Not anymore.
Chapter forty-six
Jasper
She’scurledintomypillow like she belongs there.
Red hair spilled across the cotton, cheek pressed into the plush pillow, lashes resting softly against her skin. There’s a faint crease between her brows. Like even in sleep, some part of her is bracing for the world to ask too much of her again.
She’s beautiful.
I’ve shared beds with women before. Moments of fleeting comfort. Distractions that burn hot and disappear just as fast.
This isn’t that.
This feels like something settling. Like something is choosing me back.
I don’t remember inviting her into my bed last night.
Not really. She just… ended up here. Shechoseto be here.
After everything she told us about Kat, about her parents, after hearing the way her voice stayed steady even when her hands shook, I’d felt it then. The restlessness. The buzzing ache under my skin like when I didn’t know what to do with all the fight raging inside of me. And somehow… she knew. When it was time to turn in, she hadn’t asked. She just took my hand,pressed a kiss to Beau’s mouth, then Lawson’s and Lincoln’s, and whispered goodnight before leading me up the stairs and toward my room.
No one argued.
No one pouted.
They just let her lead me.
Like they understood that all of us loving the same woman means knowing when to step back and letting one of us step forward.
Fuck.
Love.
That word… that one single word, causes the ache in my chest to bloom into something warmer. Heavier.Unavoidable.
I don’t move right away. I lie there and let myself take her in. The steady rise and fall of her breathing. The way her fingers are curled around the edge of the comforter. The way her pillowy-pink lips are parted ever so slightly.
The way this one woman suddenly looks like my…forever.
It’s a dangerous word. One I’ve never trusted.
