“What does this mean?” I ask quietly. “You and me. Lawson. Jasper… Beau?”
It’s the question that’s been hovering between all of us, unspoken and dangerous and impossible to ignore.
For a moment, he doesn’t answer. Instead, he reaches for the soap again, slowly washing my back. He presses a kiss to the crown of my head. “I don’t know,” he finally admits. There’s no hesitation in it. No false confidence. Just the silent understanding that we’re all in uncharted waters. “I don’t have a rulebook for this. I don’t know how it’s supposed to work.”
My chest tightens, but before fear can take hold, his arms come around me fully, pulling me in. “But I know this. I’ve spent my whole damn life walking away from things that didn’t feel like they were supposed to be mine so I could give others things I knew were supposed to be theirs. I walk away when things feel too big. Too risky. Too…good.And whatever this is?” His hand flexes at my back. “It feels so fucking good.”
I look up at him, eyes burning, heart wide open.
He meets my gaze, steady and certain. “So, we figure it out. All of us. Together. No walls. No running.”
A shaky breath leaves me as I nod. “Okay.”
He smiles then—not the charming one, not the polite one—but something softer. Something that looks an awful lot likemine.
“Okay,” he echoes.
And the water keeps running, and the world around us stays quiet as he holds me like I’mhis.
Chapter thirty-nine
Jasper
Jas,”Lincolnsaysfromthe other side of his desk, “are you sure you want to do this?”
The office loft is quiet for the middle of the work week except for the muted hum of the heater and the faint clicking of his pen. Late morning light slants through the windows, catching dust in the air. “I am,” I finally say. “Yeah. I’m sure.”
Lincoln leans back in his chair, studying me the way he always does when he’s worried but trying not to show it. His lawyer brain running a mile a minute.
Contracts.
Numbers.
Consequences.
“Pullin’ out of the bulk of the PBR circuit isn’t nothin’, Jas,” he says. “You’re talkin’ about forfeiting points. Sponsors’ll follow your lead, sure, but—”
“I know how it works,” I cut in gently. “I’m not retirin’. I’m just… slowing down. Select events. Invitational stuff. I’ll still do all of my sponsorship requirements, I just don’t need to chase a buckle anymore.”
That part is true. Has been for the last couple of years.
But what I don’t say—what I’d never say out loud—is that every time I leave, there’s a piece of me that’s convinced I won’t make it back in time.
I wasn’t there when Mom died.
I wasn’t there when Joe almost died.
That kind of fear doesn’t just go away. It just learns how to wait.
“At least for this year,” I add. “With everything that’s happenin’ with the Coates brothers, with Keller and Hearthland Development… and now Abbie’s here…” I stop myself, jaw tightening. “It just… it doesn’t feel right bein’ gone all the time. Plus, it’s not like I need the money. I’m more than set. Being as good as I was right out of the gate had its perks.”
Lincoln watches me for a long moment. “You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your choices. Least of all me.”
I snort. “Yeah, I kinda do. You’re the one who’s gotta make the paperwork disappear.”
That gets a small smile out of him. “I just want you to be sure, Jas.”
I meet his eyes. “I’m sure,” I reply. “This is just… I dunno. Me choosin’more,I guess. For once.”
