He wasn’t allowed to feel sorry for himself anymore, he’d already brooded around the house that wasn’t his all day, bothering Alice, Lucy, and anyone else he could find.
Except Axel.
Because that was who he really wanted, to have intimate skin privileges as well as casual. To walk in a room and he be there, with his stupidly handsome face smiling at him, and only him. Axel spoke to his leopard spirit more than any other male, or female ever had, and he found himself craving his attention. Axel made him feel things, made him want things that he never thought he desired because he had been happy alone.
Alone you couldn’t mess up, be told you weren’t good enough or blamed for things out of your control. Alone was simple, easy.
‘You deserve love.’Alice’s voice drifted through his mind, but he pushed it away.
Love was easy too, but it came and went like the wind. He’d heard enough stories from the customers he served drinks, that love was simply a burst of chemicals in the brain that could be just as fleeting. So how could he commit to one person? When their love could just disappear by the dawn, leaving him alone and vulnerable.
Sam wasn’t sure he could do that to himself.
“Oh, hey man I didn’t think you were on tonight,” Lewis, one of the temp bartenders said as he entered the small staff room. “I was called in to cover.”
Sam closed the locker where he kept his stuff, locking it tight. “Yeah, I think it was a miscommunication with Riley. Don’t worry though, we would appreciate the help now that Bianca’s gone on maternity.”
“Okay, cool.” Lewis unbuttoned his shirt before pulling on his own black t-shirt, Blood Bar embroidered on the left pec. “Thanks man, I know you’re the one who sorted my overtime out last time too.”
“No problem,” Sam said as Lewis waved, passing through the door to the main floor. Sam had been taking on more of a managerial role the past few months, working the bar as well as sorting some of the back-end paperwork. It seemed to be a natural transition the longer he was there, allowing Riley to take a step back from just one of his multiple businesses. Although Blood Bar was more of a passion project compared to his numerous multi-million-pound companies and charities. It amused Sam to see Riley in his full suit, knowing him as the warrior he was.
There was no band mid-week, but the music still brought a small crowd to the floor. The bar was busy, all the stools taken as Payne nodded to him in greeting.
“You’re here, good. Lewis can’t make a drink for shit.”
Lewis rolled his eyes, used to Payne’s cheery attitude as he continued to serve on his section. “I missed you too, Payne.”
Payne pursed her lips. “Your face is happy, but your eyes are conflicted.”
“Oh you know, the usual conundrum of figuring out what you want in life,” Sam said with a tight smile.
“Deep… anyway help me clear this crowd before I blow my brains out and leave you to deal with the mess.” She tossed her braids over her shoulder, the gold beads glistening.
“Always a pleasure,” Sam muttered, widening his smile as he turned to the next person in his section. “Hey there beautiful, what can I get you?”
The young woman with dark red hair blushed, but proceeded to order a Pornstar Martini. Sam smiled, making the cocktail quickly before he moved on to the next customer, losing himself in the work. A few hours passed in a blur, time speeding by as Sam carefully flipping an electric blue bottle over his head for the watching audience.
“Hey,” a man said as he stepped up to the bar. “Can I buy you a drink?”
Sam flipped the bottle once more, catching it before pouring the five shots that Payne had lined up along the wood. Flicking the end they bumped towards the woman who’d ordered them, her friends squealing with delight.
“Sorry, I’m working,” he said, wiping down the side. “What can I get you?”
“Surely you can have one drink?” he pushed, sitting on one of the stools. “Come on, it’ll be fun.” The man smiled, showing off perfectly straight teeth. “What about your number? You can give that out, right?”
Sam cocked his head, studying the man’s handsome face as he leaned forward. Before he wouldn’t have hesitated, but now all he could do was compare. He had green eyes, not hazel and his jaw, while defined, was clean shaven rather than rough.
“What can I get you?” Sam repeated, hoping his tone remained light and friendly. It was the first time he felt nothing but indifference, no physical reaction or attraction. Not that he was attracted to everyone, but he usually felt something, even if it was just a slight effervescence in the fact someone desired him. Wantedhim.
“The name’s Scott,” he said, continuing to smile, not disheartened by the rebuff. “I would love a beer, please. Whatever’s on tap.”
“One beer coming up,” Sam said, his own smile strained. What was wrong with him? Scott was cute, and would warm his bed for at least the night. Yet his thoughts went straight back to hazel eyes and dark brown hair that held a slight curl.
Fuck. This can’t be happening.
“Hey, blondie, you awake?”
Sam blinked, turning to Payne with a frown. “Huh?”
