“I’ll ring her later,” he replied, clearing his throat. “I’ve just been…”Too busy trying not to be consumed with pain.“Busy. I’ve got to go, I’ll see you soon.”
“Axel, stay out of my –”
Throwing the phone onto the seat beside the bag Axel brushed the glitter from his face. “Pink, of course he chose pink,” he muttered as he moved back into traffic. A few minutes later, he pulled into his designated space in the underground parking garage.
The apartment he shared with Titus was nice, and very expensive. They had bought it between them almost five years ago, thanks to Titus bringing in silly money with his computer skills, and Axel with his inheritance.
His father had been rich, and when he’d died Axel had inherited every single penny at just six years old, much to his mother’s annoyance. He sent her money, hoping it would keep her away long enough to finally have the daughter she actually wanted and leave him alone. But even after twenty-nine years he was still an only child. That he knew of, anyway. It wasn’t exactly like they had a normal mother/son relationship. She got pregnant, gave birth only to find a penis, and that was the end of her maternal love. His penis shouldn’t have been a shock, considering it was common knowledge that druids could only sire males and she’d specifically hunted his father. It was how their entire Breed survived.
The lift to the thirtieth floor was quick, the black chrome doors opening to reveal a dark burgundy carpet and clean, pale walls. They’d chosen the place because of the security, the extra thick walls, and specialised team available in the entire building twenty-four seven.
Not that they really stayed there anymore, not since Riley mated and encouraged everyone to stay at his family estate. It made sense, all the Guardians together in one place. But first it was Riley, then Xee, and now Kace. They were all happy and mated, and while Axel was so fucking happy for them, all he cared for was his next hit. The house was getting busier, which meant it was getting harder to hide when the relief from the drugs faded, and the pain returned.
He didn’t even have time to think about his curse, how he had to find a mate before the hundred years were up. Soulbind himself to someone or suffer an eternity as his beast down in The Nether, also known as Hell, a slave to the very fucking man who had cursed them in the first place.
Both options sucked.
Axel already had to deal with his fucked up beast, two souls in one body. He couldn’t imagine adding another. There was already something broken in the binding magic, so he doubted he could even soulbind to anyone else anyway.
There was no point wasting valuable time thinking about it. He lived in the now, and didn’t like thinking of the future past planning his next shot of medication.
The front door opened easily, unlocked via his handprint. Axel thought it was pretentious, but Titus had checked the internal servers and had assured him they were safe and secure. Not that Axel had any idea what the fuck his cousin had meant.
Dropping the paper bag onto the dark oak table, he strolled into his bedroom, quickly grabbing the glue he had hidden in his bedside drawer before moving to Titus’s room. He tried to keep out of his cousin’s bedroom, a mutual agreement between them both. Except Titus had usedpinkglitter, and Axel was feeling a little pissed about it.
He ignored the black satin sheets, the fabrics shiny and perfectly made. The entire room was black, with a few varying shades of dark grey to accent. It looked like a generic room, just one maybe Dracula would have preferred. But Axel knew of his cousin’s tastes, and opening up the armoire beside the wall-length mirror, Axel couldn’t help but grin. Inside were various collars, ropes, paddles as well as other objects he had no intention of touching. He was sure they were clean, but he really didn’t need to add a memory of touching Titus’s sex toys to his ever-growing list of fucking nightmares.
Lifting the first paddle, Axel touched the spiked edges, the flat side made of a soft leather that looked worn. Titus enjoyed inciting pain from women during sex, which was also another reason they’d jointly chosen that particular apartment. Sound-proofed walls.
Unscrewing the cap from the glue, Axel got to work on sticking everything he was willing to touch down. It was quick drying, which meant it didn’t take him more than five minutes before he had stepped away from the armoire and closed the bedroom door behind him.
“Teach you to mess with me,” he muttered as he picked up the paper bag and made his way to his own room. In contrast, Axel’s bedroom was light and airy. White sheets, light green walls, and a fluffy rug with bright yellow smiley faces that he’d ordered online once when he’d been out of it. He had nothing personal, because everything that meant something to him was back at the estate where his brothers were. With his family.
It wouldn’t bother him if he never had to step foot in the room ever again, except he needed it. Because hidden in the en-suite was a chemistry set, essentially a child’s toy he’d found in a shop. Over the years, he’d added to it, researching online how to break down narcotics to their basic elements. What once had started as a few glass beakers and a pipe, had grown to cover the entire bathroom.
He only ever returned when he needed a refill, or when he wanted to experiment. The joint had helped with the tremors, but the pain had started in his bones only a few hours later. So he was back, needing to go over his notes and try different combinations of herbs, and hope he found something that lasted. He didn’t want to self-medicate, but it wasn’t like he had many options.
Foxglove –three flowers.Two flowers max or risk heart burn
Ecstasy (C11H15NO2) – ¼ tablet< Could see colours.
Cocaine (C17H21NO4)– Doesn’t mix well. No benefits.
Valerian root(dried)– 15g use fresh.
Cannabis – Smoked – works for short periods of time.
Brimstone (S16C6H12O6) – Liquid (when heated above 100?) Crystallises if cooled too quickly. Stablearound95.5?. Most reactive to herbs and longer relief.
Capsaicin (chili seeds) < Stupid idea.
Axel crossed out foxglove entirely, hoping the oleander’s pain relief benefits worked better along with the brimstone. He had first tried the usual prescription pain relief such as acetaminophens, ibuprofens, and naproxen, but they’d all been a failure. He’d quickly turned to illegal narcotics, finding more respite in the shit mixed with fuck-knows-what than medication actually designed for pain relief. Brimstone, however, seemed to be the best, the catalyst when cut with fentanyl and natural herbs.
The dark yellow liquid bubbled immediately when Axel flicked on the flame, the fan overhead keeping the room well ventilated. He had over fifty notebooks that were filled with recipes, formulas, and general scribblings. He wrote down every combination, every instruction and failure depending on the base drug he used. Five years or so of work, and he had only managed to create something that lasted forty-eight hours at most.
He was still working on the perfect combination that didn’t mess him up, making him too high. It wasn’t an addiction, because it wasn’t the euphoria he craved. It was the reprieve. He would rather have not used any drugs raw from a dealer, not knowing exactly what was in the little white pills, powders, or liquids. But there were always emergencies, and it wasn’t like he could overdose or get an infection. He knew, it would have happened by now.
Without the narcotics his skin would become tight, so sensitive even the slightest feather would cause agony. His bones would ache, lightning would shoot down his arms at the barest movement and then there were the fucking whispers, a discord of ravishing sound that only he could hear inside his head, intrusive thoughts that mangled together. It created a deep throbbing behind his eyes, making it hard to concentrate on anything but the idea of clawing at his own flesh until he could scrape his nails against his skull.
