You don’t need to be,he replied the same way, a wordless conversation between two people who knew each other better than themselves. It was something they had mastered as messed up kids, being able to read the most subtle expressions like an open book. It made talking about someone in public super easy, but it also meant she saw more of him than he sometimes wanted to give.
“I’m okay,” he said aloud, moving towards the kitchen.
A door creaked, and they both turned as a pretty little red-head stepped out of the bathroom. She smiled shyly, a blush blossoming on her cheeks. “Sorry, I’ll just let myself out.”
Sam watched the woman leave with a smirk, laughing when he turned back to Alice. “What?”
“You didn’t even know she was in there.”
Sam’s grin grew. “I knew –”
“Lies!” Alice thrust a bag at his chest, and he instinctively caught it. “I love you, but that’s disgusting.”
“Aw, baby girl.” Placing the takeout onto the counter he reached for her, burying his nose in her hair, and centring himself in touch. His leopard immediately purred, wanting to drown in the familiar scent of family. Alice was everything, had been his pack since they first met all those years ago at group therapy. She had been a tiny, mute five-year old, and Sam had immediately found himself needing to sit beside her despite being four years older. Amongst all the other kids, who had suffered their own traumas, she’d seemed scared and alone. Yet he hadn’t been able to help himself as he’d reached for one of her plaits, his leopard fascinated with the blonde strands a few shades darker than his own.
She had turned to him with giant eyes and smiled, and from then on, she’d been his rock. She knew all his secrets, his nightmares and worries and she loved him anyway, flaws and all. And there were many flaws.
“I’ve missed you,” she said, crushing her arms around his waist.
“You only saw me the other day,” he said, kissing the top of her head.
She sighed into his embrace. “It’s not the same.”
Sam snorted. “I’ll always be here for you, baby girl.” It had hurt when she had mated, because that meant she had to leave him. But he was so fucking proud that it hurt, because she had overcome so much shit to be happy. And she deserved to be happy, even if that happiness wasn’t directly from him.
“I didn’t expect to walk into an orgy,” she said, not releasing him from the hug. “But at least I’ve brought breakfast. From that show I think you’ll need it.”
Sam’s chest shook with laughter. He remembered the night in flashes, the hot breaths and frenzied kisses. He remembered the pleasure, which was the whole point. His goal was always for his partners to come first, only allowing himself to finish once they had. But recently he felt empty afterwards. Like something was missing.
Maybe next time he’d add a fifth person.
“You want to talk about it?”
Sam blinked, releasing her with a last squish. “Talk about what?”
“Whatever just put that frown on your face.” Alice pursed her lips. “Come on, Starlight.”
Sam reached for the bag, finding breakfast burgers and hash browns inside. “Don’t starlight me.” The affectionate name from their years of therapy. “I’ve already said I’m fine. I like sex, I’m not going to apologise for it.”
“Bloody hell, I’m aware that you like sex, I’ve caught many people sneaking out of your bedroom over the years.” Alice rolled her eyes theatrically. “I’m not trying to shame you, Sam. I just want to make sure you’re not using sex to hide something else.”
“Like what?” The mug slammed against the counter hard enough it cracked. The sound echoed, and neither of them acknowledged it. “What are you trying to say?”
“You keep doing this,” Alice said, exasperated. “When did you stop talking to me?”
Sam tipped the mug, checking the bottom to see the hairline break. “We’re talking right now.” Tossing it into the sink he grabbed another.
“Yeah, with your back turned so I can’t see your face.”
Sam paused, kettle halfway to the running water. “I would never stop talking to you.” He finished filling the kettle and flicked it on before he spun. “But I don’t know what you want me to say? I’m living my best life. I’ve just finished renovating this place, I love my job because I get to see you all the time and I can fuck whoever I want. Honestly, baby girl, I’m living the dream.”
Her lips pursed. “I see you, Samion Murphy. Something’s bothering you and –”
“Alice, stop it,” he interrupted. “You need to stop obsessing over everything I do.”
“Do you truly believe your goal to sleep with every living thing is healthy?”
“I don’t need you to look after me, I’m an adult who can take care of himself, I’ve done it my entire life.”
