His brothers all watched with a controlled patience as he paced back and forth. They thought he had lost it, finally broken. It was written all over the expressions they tried to hide, except he knew them all too well. It was only Riley, sat at the top of the table, who didn’t have the same look of pity.
“I’m getting my kid back.” Even his own voice sounded different, strained as if was ready to combust. Which wasn’t entirely inaccurate.
No one answered, not until Riley, the fucking leader of a bunch of messed up barbarians let out a heavy sigh. “You can’t go back.”
“Why? Do you think I would fuck it up?” The words snapped out like bullets.
Riley’s fist cracked down against the heavy wooden table. “Don’t even fucking try it, K. You know why you can’t go back. You’ve never spoken about it, but we know what you’ve been though.”
“You have nofuckingidea what I went through. You could never imagine what I had to do to survive, and I’m not leaving Hunterthere.” He made sure he met every single fucking pair of eyes of his brothers.
They were all thrown together against their will as children, and bonded over a shared trauma that made them brothers. They were the only people he trusted with his life, but he didn’t trust them with this.
“I’m no longer a defenceless child.” He allowed his beast to deepen his tone, his words more of a growl.
“Sythe can go,” Xander added, nodding across the table. “He doesn’t have the same history. He can bring your boy home.”
The roar that echoed from his throat rattled the walls. “Fucking try it!”
Chairs toppled, his brothers all ready to fight if he were to shift and attack. What shamed him even more was the fact they had done it before, but this time he kept himself in control, barely. His lungs were constricted, making it harder to breath as he concentrated on every breathe, on calming his racing pulse.
“He’s my kid.” Kace quietened his tone, even as his knuckles ached, the need to hit something growing. “I’m the only one amongst us who has ever fought in the Pits. I would never want any of you...” He couldn’t finish his sentence, emotion constricting his voice.
Titus was the first to re-take his seat, resting his arms on the table as he slouched back, ankles crossed beneath the table. “There’s no official opening date yet, but if there’s already a betting pool it’s probably within the next week or two.”
Kace took a second to check his brother, relaxing just a little at the healed flesh of his chest. “Then we have to move fast.” He swallowed through the panic that was creeping, memories teasing at his mind. The fighters were property, stolen outright or bought and forced to fight dirty. You either survived, or you didn’t. Kace hadn’t been scared of death, not even as an eight-year-old who had stood on the scratchy claret sands for the first time. Because sometimes there were things worse than death.
“We will find a way in,” Riley said, meeting his gaze. “A way that doesn’t risk you.”
“I’ll…”
“You’re not fucking expendable,” Riley snarled, interrupting. “Do you not think we see it? I will not allow this guilt you carry to consume you. You take risks Kace, risks that will get you killed. You’re more than your past, and we will get Hunter back, but not by sacrificing you.”
Chest tightening, Kace turned on his heel before he said something he would regret. He moved in quick strides, not paying attention to where he was going. All he could see was blood, the faces of the men and women he had been forced to murder for his survival. Most had been adults, but some had been other kids even younger than himself, and each had fallen beneath his hands. He always embraced the memories, never wanting to forget each and every soul. They haunted him, deservedly so.
“Kace?” A soft hand brushed along his arm.
He moved without thought, a feminine cry searing through his consciousness. Kace blinked, and found Kyra pressing herself against the wall, her mouth open in surprise. He staggered back, flinching as she held her hand out as if to touch him again.
Alice stepped between them. Her eyes were hard, fractured irises glowing as she pulled on her chi, arcane teasing her fingertips. She was a warrior as much as they were, and while it took a while to understand why Riley had chosen her as his mate, Kace finally understood. Alice suffered from just as dark memories, but unlike him she didn’t let them weaken her.
Kyra tried to move closer, features set in a resolute expression. “Kace, you’ll be…”
He aimed his words at Alice. “Keep her away from me. I just… I can’t.” Why did she want to save him? Some people were beyond help.
“Kace!” Kyra called after him. “Wait!”
It was Alice who stopped her from chasing after him. “Let him go.”
Kace knew he was running, but he didn’t stop until darkness wrapped around him like a comforting blanket, the high moon casting barely a glow through the clouds. The wind was quiet, almost silent as he finally paused a few meters from the trees edge.
“What’s got your knickers in a twist?”
Kace didn’t need to turn to know who it was, Lucy’s chi dark enough against his senses that he would never have trouble identifying him. “You weren’t at the meeting.”
“Of course fucking not,” Lucy sneered, stepping forward until the moon light settled gently across half of his face, softening his scowl. “I’m never invited anywhere.”
Kace rolled his shoulders, his hands trembling. He needed to fight, to feel a little pain before he fucked everything up.
