“Just for you.” She smiles, and I bury myself in her. Her breath leaves her when I drive harder, her nails digging into my shoulders.
I may have teased her, but it’s taking everything in me not to come.
“Are you close?” I shift my weight, reaching between us to circle her clit. Then lower, needing to feel where we’re joined.
For the first time ever, I curse wearing a condom. I don’t want anything between us.
“Yes,” she pants. “Do that again, please.”
“So proper,” I murmur against her mouth and give her what she wants, thrusting into her while I work her clit.
It doesn’t take long. I feel the way she tightens, the way her breathing changes. When she comes again, pulsing around me, it pulls me over the edge with her.
I bury my face in her neck and let go.
We both lie there, spent. “That was…”
“Yeah.”
I ease out of her, carefully, and deal with the condom, tossing it in the trash beside my bed. I’m back next to her before she can even think about moving. She tucks herself against my side, her leg hooking over mine, as if made to fit there.
Maybe she was.
I can’t remember the last time I felt anything close to this.
When I find the answer in my memories, I shake it away.
She’s quiet for a long time. Her fingers trace idle patterns on my chest. Circles, figure eights, maybe a heart?
“What happened?” Her voice is soft. “That night.”
I knew this was coming. Knew we’d have to talk about it eventually.
“It’s… I was scared.”
I close my eyes. Take a deep breath. She doesn’t rush me.
“I was with someone,” I say finally. “Years ago. Before I moved to Chicago.”
I’ve never told anyone about Vanessa. The only people who know about her are the ones who were there then. Fox and Volk are the only guys still on the team who’d met her. And, of course, Tara still grumbles about what a “pill” she was. But that’s what people who love you do—take your side, even when you’re the one in the wrong.
“I asked her to give up a lot. To move here with me.” I pull Summer closer.
“And she wouldn’t?” Her fingers continue the lazy patterns.
“No. She did—” I inhale through my nose. “Thatwas the problem.”
I should’ve never asked her. We could’ve made it work long distance, at least until we figured out a solution that let usbothchase our goals.
Summer stills. “I don’t get it… so what happened?”
I open my eyes and stare at the ceiling. “She regretted it. Resented me for it.”
There are parts of this I’ve never told anyone. I’m not sure I’m ready to tell her all of it tonight, but she deserves as much as I can give her.
“I didn’t even realize what I was doing at the time. I thought I was being supportive, but I wasn’t,” I add.
I’ll never forget her face, twisted with anger, the night she left to go back to Edmonton. She looked at me like I was a monster who ruined her life. It was our worst fight ever… although is it a fight if it’s one-sided? I was blindsided by everything she told me she was feeling. But I shouldn’t have been. I should’ve seen the problem before it was smacking me in the face.
