As I sat staring at my computer screen, waiting for the meeting to start, my heart still thudded against my chest. It hadn’t stopped since last night. Ava might think we slept next to each other, but that was not what happened.
I spent the entire night watching her sleep. Seeing her chest rise up and down with each breath. Watching her lips part while she was in a deep sleep and restraining myself from touching that full bottom lip. Enjoying the heat of her skin against mine. Soaking it all in.
Knowing it would be my last chance for any of it.
Because deep down, I knew her words held truth.
The anxiety of talking to the professor almost put me over the edge. I tore out of that room before Professor Lynch spoke his last words, knowing I couldn’t risk seeing her.
Not today.
I needed to talk to someone, it was an emergency.
The video call was live.
“Hey, Logan,” Dr. Jean said.
My desire to be home, in my bed, in my house, even in her office, pulled at me.
“Hi, Dr. Jean.”
“Well, looks like we have a lot to talk about today,” she said. She could read me easily, and I wasn’t trying to hide my emotions, either.
I spent a lot of my night deciding if I should inform her about Ava and me. I knew she advised against what we’d done, but bottom line, it happened. And now it was having adverse consequences.
Mentally. Emotionally. Physically.
“Yeah, there’s something I need to talk about before we talk about my dad, if that’s OK.”
As the day went on,I found myself holed up in my room. I left campus after my marketing class, skipping all others. My appointment with Dr. Jean took precedence. Taking care of our project group with Professor Lynch was the only reason I stepped foot on campus in the first place. I knew I wouldn’t be able to work with her in the confines of this house any longer.
My appointment with Dr. Jean went better than anticipated, but I didn’t have that overwhelming elated feeling I was used to after we spoke. She appreciated my honesty about Ava and even understood. She explained that it was best to focus on me, but life goes on and you can’t control everything that happened around you.
There was no way I was going to force Ava to be with me if she truly didn’t want to be.
My mind couldn’t ignore the signs pointing to the reality of why she did what she did.
I was like him.
I was exactly like that douchebag who assaulted her.
No one would ever make me think otherwise.
And she deserved better.
But that part didn’t come up in my session. And neither did my father, thank goodness. She felt with all I’d been through, we’d could table it until next week.
My phone got a text.
Ashton: Hey, outdoor practice tonight if you can make it weather’s cooperating
Sitting back,reading the text again, I could almost cry. This was exactly what I needed. Someone telling me to be somewhere to get my ass kicked.
Me: I’ll be there
“Hey, Somers,”Ashton said from across the huddle, known as a scrum in rugby, “you’re going to try being a back on this play. Think football, you’ll get it.”
We basically scrimmaged each other as a form of practice, which was a great way for me to learn the game. As we broke from the scrum, I got into position as Sutton went to the sideline to throw the ball in play. He tossed it to the guy ahead of me, and we all started rushing forward. The ball came my way, I broke free around the corner and up the side, the goal line in sight. There were two guys coming at me, the block was going to be a hard one if I didn’t weave to avoid it. At the last second, I ducked and zigzagged my way past them, sliding across the line, and scored a try. The guys ran up behind me, screaming my name.
