If Logan hadn’t shown up, it likely would have been worse.
If I wasn’t so mad at him in the first place, I don’t think I would’ve put myself in that position to begin with.
Pushing the blame…I was good at that with him. But it was true. Even being in this “secret relationship” with him had taken a turn toward being problematic already. It’s just not worth it, they never work out for me.
My mind strayed back to the end of my junior year of high school. I’d been with my boyfriend Cole since the beginning of freshman year. He was a year older, and when we saw each other my first day of high school, we became inseparable. In the beginning, things were good. We had a normal high school relationship. I thought I was in love, of course, and maybe I was. He was sweet, thoughtful, and always said and did the right thing. When he wanted to start including my best friend, Casey, on some of our weekends after her boyfriend broke up with her, I thought he was being even nicer.
Joke was on me.
It was almost graduation for him, and I guess he shot his shot before heading off to college.
I walked in on the two of them, hooking up in his bed. The image will forever be engrained in my mind.
Because I not only lost my boyfriend that day, but my best friend.
And from that moment I promised myself two things: I would always be a good friend, and I would protect my heart moving forward and tread very carefully in life with relationships.
Yet thisthingwith Logan was breaking both of those promises.
If Macie found out about Logan and me, I could lose her. And as far as Logan…
My heart was falling, and I had to protect it before it hit the ground and shattered.
As I rolled over, I heard the faint sounds of voices in the distance and smelled the aroma of breakfast foods. My phone told me it was almost eleven already. The rumbling in my stomach agreed.
But I wasn’t in any rush to see anyone, especially Logan.
I knew I’d have to talk to him, thank him, for last night, and I would. But it would lead us to talking about other things that I didn’t want to talk about. Not quite yet.
Macie: you up? Logan actually cooked
Me: Yep
My plan wasto stay put and hope that Becca or Macie brought me some food.
Eventually, that knock came on my door.
“Yeah,” I said. I started sitting up, getting excited for the food one of them was bringing me.
And the company.
Why was I surprised at who came through the door? I shouldn’t have been. Of course he would take advantage of the first chance to see me.
“Hey,” Logan said as he walked toward me with a plate. “Morning.”
His tentative steps toward my bed were coupled with concerned eyes. He made room for the full plate of food on mynight table, taking care to move things aside. He lingered with his movements, taking his time.
Avoiding me.
Then he turned to look.
“Ava.”
The reverent way he said my name, with such adoration but sadness at the same time, broke me.
My tears were silent as they spilled over the lower lids of my eyes. They streamed down my cheeks, dripping from my chin. My hands couldn’t wipe them away fast enough.
His eyes filled, the tears falling. He fell to his knees on the floor beside me. When his arms opened, ready to envelop me, I flung myself against him.
