So why did I feel so alone?
I was having a constant battle within lately.
My heart told me to jump. Right into the arms of this guy who was proving himself to me in all the right ways.
But my brain. Well, that was showing me what could happen if I followed my heart. And everything that followed was heartache with him and a lost friendship with Macie.
I knew what my brain was doing; it was looking for his faults and highlighting them. Or even creating ones that didn’t exist.
It was always forcing me to think about his past with Lanie. Or reminding me he was working on his recovery, and why would I want to get involved with someone dealing with that.
Making excuses for me.
So I could walk away and not feel guilty about it.
But the guilt was eating me up.
My phone buzzed in my pocket.
Macie: Hey where’d u run off to? Make sure ur home in time to get ready for tonight
Tonight.The rugby party. Both Becca and Macie convinced me to go. They were going stag, without their guys. Looking at it as a girls’ night out. But there was one thing they didn’t know.
My guy would be there right under their noses.
Me: Don’t worry I’ll be ready
I really didn’t knowif I would be.
Rugby players were fucking crazy.Like really fucking nuts. More of them were naked, running around the party, than had clothes on. I knew Logan said there were a couple guys he met who also didn’t drink. But I had my concerns about him being around this crew.
Macie, Becca, and I huddled together in a corner on the main floor in awe at what we witnessed. The guys were challenging one another to various bets.
Naked bets.
Run down the block,naked.
Do a keg stand,naked.
Do a funnel,naked.
Go kiss that girl,naked.
The bonus was there was not a single guy on the team who wasn’t hot. Like seriously hot in every sense of the word. Their bodies were muscular and cut. They were beautiful in every sense of the word.
In that regard, Logan belonged here.
“Oh my god, this is crazy fun!” Macie yelled. She danced to the music with Becca, the two of them spinning each other like ballerinas.
We made an agreement with Logan that we were going to have a couple drinks tonight since he had guys with him who weren’t drinking.
Macie and Becca took it to heart, tipsy already. The beer in my hand was nearly full since I couldn’t shake an uneasy feeling that had overcome me. As I looked around, nothing seemed amiss, but it was like a prickling up my spine.
“How you guys doing?” Logan asked. He bent close to my ear, and I smelled his familiar scent. I wanted to kiss him, mark him as mine, as I turned to look at him.
He looked hot tonight in his jeans and tight black Henley. He looked so good in black with his light hair and eyes. And the way the shirt hugged every muscle of his chest and arms, it was hard not to run my fingers up and down him.
“Good,” I said back.
