I also knew that I was scared. Scared of so many things.
Logan was right. We couldn’t live like this because it was even more unusual for us and would raise eyebrows with the roommates just as much.
His hands cradled my face, the warmth reaching my heart. I was unaware how much I’d missed his touch. Our lips touched ever so gently, his tongue grazing my bottom lip, searching out my lip ring. It swirled around the tiny hoop, playing with it, and it made me smile against him.
“Did you miss this as much as I did?” he whispered against my lips.
I answered him by deepening the kiss, leaving the chair and straddling his lap, both of us now on the bed. His hands held me by the waist, then my ass, pulling me close and tight as our mouths got reacquainted.
Then we heard the door open downstairs. And I panicked.
I jumped off his lap and stood frozen in the middle of his room like a deer in headlights.
Logan, however, calmly moved his chair and pointed to his bed as he took a seat at his desk. I sat on the edge of his bed, though nowhere near as calm as he was. My hands went to mymouth and face, rubbing, thinking I could erase the evidence of what we were doing. But I was probably only making my lips redder.
“Anyone home?” Becca yelled.
“We’re up here,” Logan responded.
She was standing in the doorway with her Stanley in one hand, a sandwich in the other, and a full backpack on her shoulder. Her coat, hat, and gloves were still covering every inch of her body.
“Christ, I need it to warm up out there so the snow can melt. I’m sick of walking through it and dealing with it. I’m sick of winter.” She looked at her full hands with exasperation, as if she wanted to throw everything to the ground but knew she couldn’t. “Whatcha you guys doing? Homework? Have to say, it’s kinda nice seeing you two in the same room.”
She started backing out of the doorway.
“I have to get this shit off me, out of my hands. I need a bath, I need to eat. I need this day to end…” Her words trailed off as she headed to her room.
Logan let out a chuckle before coming to sit next to me on his bed.
“And that’s what I refer to as ‘Tornado Becca.’”
Now I understood. She never took a breath or let us get a word in. Then was on her way.
“But I love her,” he said.
My hand was engulfed in his before we even heard the door upstairs close, proving Becca was indeed in her room. I had no idea how to navigate this, yet he seemed cool as a cucumber.
“How is this not making you nervous?”
“That’s an excellent question,” he said. “I’ve been a ball of anxiety since getting to school. If you didn’t already know, I’m still talking with my counselor on video sessions, and she helps me with my sobriety as well as my anxiety.” He paused tomonitor my reaction to that information. When he saw none, he continued. “Well, it’s kinda weird. Since this weekend, Friday night to be specific…” He gave me an impish smile. “I haven’t had a panic attack.”
“Great.” My eyes rolled so hard it hurt my sockets, and I hoped he was going to get my joke. “You gave me your anxiety! I’ve been nothing but a ball of nerves since exactly then!”
He pointed above us. I knew what he was going to say, but it wasn’t going to make me feel any better. We still had Macie to worry about.
“Becca has been desperate for us to become friends. I think she’d be oblivious to anything else other than reaching her goal of that,” I told him. “Macie, on the other hand, is very in tune to me. And she’s the one I have the agreement with.”
Pulling me by the hand, he led me from his room and down the stairs to the main living area. He brought his computer and had it open on the table but sat us on the couch. Then, he pulled up Netflix and scrolled through until he landed on the next episode ofNew Girlfor me.
“Let’s watch some TV together. If Macie comes home, we can look like we’re doing homework or taking a break from that.”
He pulled me against his side, forcing me to cuddle into his shoulder. And it felt…perfect. And I did relax. A bit.
We talked quietly about how to proceed. How to make this work.
And he was working so hard to make this work.
I thought, maybe, just maybe, it could.
