“Everything OK?” Becca asked. As she said that, we looked at the table. Macie, Ty, and the asshole were deep in conversation, all three laughing about something.
I didn’t know why but that pissed me off. So much. Seeing them enjoying each other, having fun, grated on me. But I didn’t want anyone to know that, especially him.
“Yeah, just not really hungry right now.” I backed away from her. “I’m tired, I’m gonna head upstairs.”
She nodded but I knew she didn’t believe me. I also knew she wouldn’t stop me.
Once in my room, I dialed my mom.
“Hey, baby, what do I owe the honor of a call so soon?”
I loved my mom so much. We had a great relationship. She knew, most times before I did what was wrong in my life and in my head. It was only me, her, and my sister Amelia. She left our dad when we were little and never looked back.
“Just wanted to hear your voice,” I told her. Then I went silent, hoping she would fill the silence, which she did. She filled it with stories of her and Amelia’s day, and how they went shopping to get her ready for her senior year of high school, what they were having for dinner, how they had snow the day before. And so on and so on.
She always knew what I needed.
“Have you gotten all your books for your classes yet, Ava?” She was making small talk now, to distract me.
“I haven’t. A lot of the professors tell us to wait, sometimes we don’t need the books. So I’ll see what they say once I go to each class over the first week.”
Then I remained quiet. We both did.
“Is there anything else you’d like to talk about, sweetie?” she asked.
Should I? Should I tell her what was going through my head?
“No, I’m OK. Just missing you and Amelia. It’s always hard when I first come back, you know that.”
I heard a small sound of acknowledgment from her over the phone line.
“You know I’m always only a phone call away. But I do need to go. Amelia has practice tonight, and I still need to feed us. Call me later if you want to talk, OK, babe?”
“OK, Mom, love you.”
“Love you, too, angel.”
I heard the line disconnect.
I threw my head back against my pillow and looked up at the ceiling as I heard the voices from downstairs carry all the way up to my room. The laughter, I should say. They were having fun. Without me.
It wasn’t so much FOMO I was experiencing. Rather, I wanted to return to prove that I wasn’t running away from the situation. That I wasn’t weak. That the asshole giving me a condescending nickname wasn’t going to make me hide in my bedroom.
Even though that was exactly what I was doing.
So up I got and down I went. Strolling into the kitchen, I pulled open the refrigerator and got myself a beer. I don’t know what made me do it. I hadn’t set out to drink today, and not everyone was. Macie and Becca were drinking earlier, when the guys were out back.
But I grabbed a beer. And made my way to the table, pulled out a chair right next to Logan, sat down, and plopped my bottle on the table in front of me.
It was quite the entrance. So much so that everyone stopped talking. Ty was the first to say something.
“Want anything to eat?”
I didn’t answer right away. Instead, I grabbed my beer and took a long chug of the cold liquid. I knew I was being a bitch.
A true bitch.
But I didn’t care. He started this feud between us. He just didn’t know how well I was at fighting back.
