Her eyes flutter open, the blue of her irises the same shade as mine. She gives me a crooked smile, raising two fingers on her right hand to beckon me closer.
“Hi, s-sweet girl,” she says slowly, a slight tremor in her voice.
Every word is a precious gift that I’ll never take for granted.
“Hey, Mama.” I cross the room and climb onto the bed beside her. “Watching without me again?” I motion toward the TV where Lorelai and Luke crouch shoulder to shoulder in his garage. Their hands accidentally graze, and they both freeze for a beat, looking into each other’s eyes before breaking into amused smiles.
It reminds me of the tension simmering between Walker and me this morning, and how I couldn’t stop staring at his chiseled abs or the way his mouth turned up at the corners when he smiled. As much as I wish I could talk about it with Mama, I don’t want to cause her any undue stress—because finding out I’m dating Bluebell’s resident playboy would definitely do that, especially when it will eventually end in a breakup.
“I c-couldn’t wait. Season f-five is my favorite,” Mama stutters slightly, tilting her head to get a better look at me.
I scoot closer, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “We both know it’s because of Logan. Who wouldn’t fall for a guy who gifts his girl a Birkin?” A small bubble of laughter escapesher, and it’s music to my ears. “I’m here the rest of the day, so we should be able to get through the rest of this season.”
“Good. I’m h-happy that you’re here.”
“Me too.” I lean my head against her arm, turning toward the TV so she won’t see the tears welling in my eyes. “I love you.”
She presses a kiss to my head. “I love you too, sweet girl.”
“I love you most,” I whisper.
The doctor thinks we probably have a couple more years with her, but that knowledge doesn’t make it any easier. I’d give anything to slow the clock and guarantee more moments like this.
Spending most of yesterday with my mama was exactly the reset I needed before the beginning of a chaotic week.
My nerves are shot thinking about my looming “lesson” with Walker, or whatever we’re calling it. He sent a text saying he’ll see me tonight, but he never specified whether that meant his place or mine. He does have his own apartment attached to the ranch house, but his family can easily watch me come and go—Briar included—so I’m desperately hoping he plans to come to my house.
The other thing bothering me is that I’m unsure if he’s bringing condoms, or if that responsibility falls on me. I’m on birth control, but I don’t know when Walker was last tested. I could ask him, but that would only pile on to my humiliation, and asking Charlie or Wren is out of the question. They’d never let me live it down, so being prepared is my only option.
Thankfully, I left for my shift at the feed store thirty minutes early this morning, giving myself time to pick up what I need before the day gets hectic.
I shift forward so Earl can hear me from the driver’s seat. “Can we swing by Town & Country Drugs? I want to grab something before work.”
He tips his cap with a nod. “Sure thing, Miss Birdie.”
Before I can register what’s happening, he swerves across the double-yellow lines, straight into the path of an oncoming SUV. Horns blare as I clutch the door handle, bracing for impact that never comes. We narrowly avoid a collision as the SUV screeches past, missing us by mere inches. I’m jolted in my seat as our tires scrape the curb, the front wheel riding up onto the sidewalk, where Earl parks us on the side of the road. In hindsight, I should have asked to stop at the drugstore before we were half a block away.
For a split second there, I thought I might die a virgin, only hours before I finally got to change that. The universe has a cruel sense of humor.
“We’re here,” Earl announces proudly, completely oblivious to the danger he just put us in. Bless his heart.
He hums his favorite Johnny Cash tune as he gets out and opens my car door.
“Thanks,” I manage, slinging my bag over my shoulder as I climb out, my legs shaky with nerves. “I’ll be quick.”
“I’m coming with you. I’m spending the night at Ethel’s, and she loves them fancy chocolates with the gold foil wrappers.” He pretends to unwrap an invisible chocolate and pop it into his mouth with exaggerated gusto.
Earl and Ethel have been seeing each other on and off for decades. They don’t bother with labels, but they seem content, so who am I to judge? I envy their ability to be unapologetically bold, not caring about what anyone thinks. Me? I’m divingheadfirst into a fake relationship to learn how to be less awkward around men and sneaking around buying condoms.
“Oh no, really, let me get the chocolates. You can wait in the car,” I chirp, my voice squeaking on the last word.
Earl gives me a dismissive wave. “That’s mighty kind of you, but she’s real particularabout her chocolate. I’d better grab it myself to make sure I get the right one.”
My shoulders slump as I give him a small nod. “Yeah. That makes sense.”
I don’t want to push further and raise suspicion. Looks like I’ll just have to be extra stealthy inside, which obviously isn’t my strong suit. I wish Walker were here—I could really use his advice.
I’m not even flirting with anyone yet and I’m already making a mess of things.
