I blow out a sardonic breath. It’s not like he’s done much of that lately. I cringe for even thinking about it. Dad has done his best, given the circumstances. He could have let the law catch up to me for any of the dozen times I’ve gotten in trouble—but he hasn’t. He may not be around as much as I’d like, but he hasn’t checked out completely when it comes to me, and I have to give him credit for that.
Birdie: Don’t worry, Dad. I’ll behave myself.
Dad: Good. I love you, Birdie.
Birdie: Love you too.
I pop a forkful of lasagna into my mouth, the herby flavor exploding on my tongue. It’s easily one of the best vegetarian dishes I’ve ever had—rare in a small town devoted to steaks, burgers, and anything that once had a face.
When I was eight, I went on a school field trip to a local farm and learned how bacon was made. That day, I swore I’d never eat meat again, and I’ve kept my promise. I have made peacewith the Halsteads’ cattle ranch, though. Years ago, I decided I couldn’t let my feelings about animal slaughter get in the way of my friendships. What Icando is advocate for the animals to be treated humanely and accept that it’s enough to ease my conscience.
It reminds me that between work, Mama’s failing health, and the rescue, I haven’t had a moment to myself in forever. I’m constantly juggling scheduling conflicts, squeezing in a rescue before and after work, racing to emergency vet appointments, and making time for Mama whenever I can.
What I need is a night out on the town, free from the weight of responsibility, the constant ticking of my mental to-do list, and the pain of watching Dad struggle to cope with his grief.
Backroads & Bad Decisions Group Chat
Birdie: Who’s up for hitting the bar?
Wren: Wish I lived closer! Guess I’ll have to settle for a relaxing bubble bath after Lottie goes to bed.
I don’t think I’ll ever get used to her living on the other side of the country, but I’m grateful our group chat keeps her in the loop—even if it’s not the same as having her here in person.
Briar: Can’t tonight. Caleb’s feeling under the weather, so we’re staying in and watching the Lego Movie.
Charlie: I’ll be at the shop late restoring a set of midcentury tables.
She owns Timeless Threads, a vintage boutique in town where she gives secondhand clothes and home decor a new lease on life.
Charlie: After that, I have a hot date with my vibrator.
Birdie: We’d totally have more fun at the bar.
Charlie: Clearly, you never took that gift we got you for Christmas for a spin.
I fidget with the gold necklace around my neck, wishing the ground would swallow me whole. I’m just grateful she’s not here to see my reaction.
The girls gifted me a rabbit vibrator last year, and it’s been tucked away in the back of my nightstand drawer ever since. I’ve been tempted to try it, but the handful of times I’ve used one in the past, I couldn’t come and ended up far more frustrated than satisfied. Being a twenty-five-year-old virgin is embarrassing enough without having to ask my friends for advice on how to get off.
It’s no secret that I’m inexperienced. I constantly stumble over my words whenever an attractive man is in the room and get flustered whenever the topic of sex comes up. I groan at the memory of my encounter with that cute guy at the feed storeearlier. I still can’t believe I talked aboutpoop. Poop! I drop my head into my hands and resist the urge to scream.
My mind drifts to how, even though Walker teased me about the whole ordeal, he was quick to put me at ease. I can always let my guard down around him, and he makes me feel safe in a way no one else does—which makes it all the more mortifying that I told him I thought he was hot.
We have a good thing going. He lets me be my quirky self, tolerating it like a saint, and I make an effort not to let the drool escape down my chin when he shows up to my work in filthy Wranglers asking about fencing supplies.
Wren: Ignore Charlie. Her BOBs do all the heavy lifting.
Wren: Meanwhile, her hands-on experience is collecting dust.
Charlie: Not all of us have boyfriends standing by when the mood strikes.
Wren: I think you mean we can’t all be Briar with the perfect fiancé helping build her dream nonprofit and giving her more orgasms than she can count.
Charlie: Peak fantasy right there.
Briar: Caleb fell asleep 5 minutes into the movie, and Jensen just got back from a business trip, sowe’re headed to bed. *wink face emoji
Her response makes it clear that getting a happy ending like hers with Jensen won’t happen if I spend my Saturday nights hiding out in my house.
