Now it was Carson’s turn to rear back as if slapped.“What reason have I ever given you not to trust me?”Besides a few things, he’d always been open and honest with her.
Allie gave him a ‘really’ look.“You won’t tell me what you do for work, or where it even is, you won’t tell me who this woman is, and you don’t let me touch your scars.”Allie tickedoff on her fingers.
“Why are you hung up on my scars?”He knew it bothered her that they made love with his shirt on, but out of all the things to get stuck on, that should be the least of their problems.
“Why are you?”she countered.“I told you, they don’t bother me, and yet you go out of your way to keep them from me.However, this woman touched the side of your neck, and you didn’t even flinch.So obviously you trust her more than me.”
He hadn’t flinched because he’d been so shocked by Charlotte kissing him, plus she already knew about his injury, and they had a strict work relationship—well, up until this morning—so she had never tried touching him before.Allie was different.He knew they didn’t bother her, but he didn’t want to see that light in her eyes dim like it was now when she saw them.To look at him differently.
“It’s not that I trust her more than you.”
“And yet I bet she knows what you do for a living.”
She did.
Allie took a deep breath and looked him in the eye, a look of resignation in her eyes.“I think it’s best we part ways, Carson.”
“What?”He balked.“No, Allie.”She couldn’t be breaking up with him now.They had such a good thing going.She couldn’t give up on them now over a misunderstanding.
Then tell her the truth.
He wanted to.It was all she was asking for, and yet he couldn’t do it.A habit of years of keeping secrets was hard to break.Knowing what he did would only endanger Allie, and he couldn’t bear it if anything were to happen to her.
“I can’t be with someone who lies to me all the time.”
“What I feel for you isn’t a lie.The stories about my past weren’t lies.”He scrambled for other instances where he didn’t lie to her.“Please, Allie, we can work this out.Look, I have to leave town, but we’ll discuss this more when I get back.Right now, Ihave to catch a flight, but I wanted to tell you goodbye to your face.”
Allie looked far from placated by his words, not that he could blame her.They were in the middle of a fight, and he had to bail.He felt like the worst kind of asshole, but he didn’t have a choice.The plane wouldn’t wait for him, and he couldn’t give Allie the answers that she wanted.
“Another thing you lied about.You said you’d get morewarning in the future when youhave to leave town.Goodbye, Carson, but we won’t be talking about this when you get back or ever.I can’t trust you.You won’t tell me who this woman is that was kissing you.You won’t tell me what you do for work, yet everyone seems to know.Even Shay and Zoe seem to know and go out of their way to keep your secrets.Secrets and lies surround you, and I can’t do it.That doesn’t seem likely to change any time soon.I’m sorry.Goodbye.”Allie didn’t wait for him to say anything else and closed the door in his face.He felt the finality of it when the lock clicked, and it tore a hole in his heart.
Could he blame her?She wasn’t wrong.He had been keeping a lot from her, but it was for her own good.
Carson touched her door, wishing he could make her understand why he was keeping her at a distance even when he wanted her close.She didn’t know he wanted tolay naked with her.To trust her with his heart, soul, and body.He did.At least part of him did, but he was scared.Maybe this was for the best.Maybe he wasn’t meant to be in a relationship.He should have learned from Jenny.He andrelationships just didn’t work.He couldn’t maintain his work and personal life and keep them separate.
“Good bye, Allie,” he whispered before leaving.He needed to focus on his mission now andstopping Yurgio.
Chapter 28
“Everyone in position?”came Luke’s voice into the earpiece.
“Affirmative,” the different team members confirmed.
It was nightfall, and everyone was waiting as the ship Intrepid docked.They had snuck in the night before to get a better layout of the area and pick the best vantage points.Jack and Greg were stationed in a small boat in the harbor in case someone tried to make a water escape.
Carson was stationed at the front of the boat on top of loading containers.Barry was on the opposite side.Rob and Luke were stationed at the guard station.Drew was on the far side, acting as lookout and sniper if need be.Barry’s friends from Washington were scattered throughout the docks.Two of them had knocked out workers to pose in their place, while the others were set up as extra defense.Everyone had strict no-kill orders unless given no other alternative.
Carson looked through his night vision goggles and watched the ship.He could see people moving around.
“Any sign of Yurgio?”Luke asked.
“Negative,” all replied.
“I do recognize one of the lackeys,” Drew said.“He’s standing at the bow of the ship smoking a cigarette.”
“Confirmed,” Jack replied.“I see another one.Looks like your contact was right, Carson.”
“Enough chatter, gentlemen,” Luke snapped.“Stay alert.Yurgio may be hiding somewhere on that ship.Duncan, Bruce, status report.”Those were the two men posing as workers.
