With uneven steps, Rhay reached her quarters and knocked on the door once. There was no movement on the other side, but something compelled him to open the door and walk into the antechamber.
Amira was sitting at her desk, an open pen drying out on the table. Her eyes no longer bloodshot, she lookedhealthierthan when she had left. One of the sleeves of her sweater was pushed up, revealing unmarked olive skin. She really had been better off without him.
Amira glanced up at him, her amethyst eyes guarded.
“I heard you’re back,” Rhay said. His voice sounded raspy, changed by the amount of alcohol he had consumed over the past few hours.
Amira seemed to be waiting for him to expand, but Rhay kept quiet. For once in his life, he had lost all his fabulous wit.
“Did you come to check if I was still a freak?” Amira asked.
Her words were harsh, but Rhay knew he had earned them.
“I never thought you were a freak. I wanted to make sure you were all right.”
Turning in her seat to fully face him, Amira fixed him with a glare. “Then why did you ice me out after you found out I was a witch?”
Rhay flinched at her last word.Witch.He had never heard her say it out loud.
“Why did you let me fall into addiction?”
He avoided looking at her as he replied, “I was trying to help.” His defence was weak, he realised that.
“Help who? Me oryourself?”
Rhay breathed out slowly. He had been expecting a confrontation, but facing Amira was harder than he had anticipated. “Fortae was keeping yourothernessat bay. I thought that was what you wanted.” He had used her addiction as a means to protect her secret. Yet at the same time, he had been protecting himself, trying to find the easiest way to not have to deal with her after her rejection. Getting Amira out of his sight had been the easy, selfish, choice—he realised that now. “I’m sorry I didn’t do more to help.”
Amira shook her head, trying to catch his gaze as she laid it all out. “Areyou sorry? Admit it, Rhay, you helped me get fortae and you pushed me to go with Tarnan just so you didn’t have to make a choice. Me or Karwyn. You can’t protect us both, and you’ve always known it.”
“I…I know it’s wrong, but please don’t ask me to choose,” Rhay pleaded. Once again, someone was giving him a fucking ultimatum. As if it was so easy to choose. People would get hurt either way; people he still cared about deeply. No matter what Karwyn had done, could Rhay actually be responsible for his fall? What would happen to Karwyn if it came down to a fight?
“Before, I wouldn’t have. But this is not only about me anymore. Now is the time to decide. I did.” Getting up from her seat, Amira walked closer, stopping to peer into his eyes. There was a clarity in her eyes, a certainty, that Rhay had never seen in her. He opened his senses and found her emotions mimicking her gaze.
“We can make a difference—a real one. I know a part of you wants that. The part that helped me free those prisoners all these months ago. That’s the part thatknowsyou need to fight for what’s right.”
“Why shouldwebe the ones to fight?” Why was he forced to choose? He walked forward, desperation clawing at him. “You’re right. I sent you away before so I wouldn’t have to deal with you. I did it for the wrong reasons, but it was therightmove.” He reached for her hand. “Let’s run away together. Get away from everything, start over.”
Amira pulled her hand back, shaking her head. “I’m not a coward. For once, I’m choosing my own destiny instead of being a pawn in someone’s game. I’m not giving up. This is only the beginning. We have the chance to make things right.” There was no fear in her tone. It reminded him of the time she had convinced him to help the prisoners escape.
Rhay took out his flask and tried to drink from it, but he had forgotten it was empty. A dark chuckle left his mouth. He was out of his mind. Pacing around the room, his thoughts stabbed his heart. Guilt mixed with shame. What the fuck was he going to do? How could he go on not choosing when he saweverything,when he knew Amira and Lora were right not to run away? But was it right for him?
Shaking his head, Rhay barely noticed his flask dropping out of his hand. The sound echoed through Amira’s room.
His eyes met Amira’s again as he stopped in his tracks. “What exactly is theright thingto do?” He looked out her window at the peaceful garden bathed in warm sunlight, the one place that seemed untouched by Karwyn’s darkness. “Betraying my best friend, the person who has been by my side for more than two decades?”
She moved closer, not breaking eye contact. “Tell me, was itrightfor Nalani to be killed as a way to punish me?”
He had almost forgotten about Amira’s maid. It had been so easy for him to forget. What waswrongwith him?
“Don’t tell me you believe that she went to visit her family. I know you’re aware of at least some of the terrible things Karwyn has done. I haven’t even spent a fraction of the time you’ve lived here and I already witnessed things that could rival the Dark King.”
Rhay grabbed her arm in alarm. “Don’t say that. Karwyn isnotthe Dark King.”He couldn’t be.
“He’s certainly on his way there. Stop lying to yourself.”
“The Dark King would have never given humans a cure.” It was the only good thing Karwyn had done, wasn’t it?
Amira shrugged off Rhay’s hold. “Don’t be naïve. Karwyn wouldn’t have done so if he didn’t have something to gain from it. He was the one who released the virus in the first place. Deep down, you must see it.”
