“I agree, it would be wasted effort on my part,” Amira agreed, a lightness in her tone that tugged at Elyssa’s heart. “I think we should go back to the woods again tomorrow.”
Putting the pen down, Elyssa turned her head to fully look at her. “Whatever you want, Amira,” she replied, catching that light in her eyes. She was glad to see the princess slowly embrace her powers.
“You’re too good to me.” Amira turned her head away. “I haven’t given you anything useful, yet here you are, helping me—savingme.”
“I know I can count on you back in Turosian,” Elyssa replied, realising she meant it. Whatever else Amira was to her, the princess would be a damn good ally. “And I like saving you. But really, you’re savingyourself,which is usually my style.”
“What about you?” Amira asked.
“What about me?”
Amira searched her eyes. “You said before that you can save yourself, but even you need to accept help sometimes, don’t you?”
Touché.She had her there. Elyssa hated accepting help. She wanted to be strong, unstoppable. Shehadto be.
Elyssa shrugged, trying to push away the ever-present feeling of guilt squeezing her chest. “Sure, as long as no one risks themself for me.” She was the one who jumped into danger; no one should follow her there unless it was for their own sake.
Amira’s eyes seemed to spark in the low light. “What if you’re worth the risk?”
A dry laugh escaped her lips. “I’m not. Thecauseis.”
Amira held her gaze, not pulling back for once. “Youare.”
“I don’t want any more people to die for me,” Elyssa confessed, the air around her turning cold. Her stomach twisted, making her nauseous. She swallowed as if she could take the words back.
Amira tilted her head closer to Elyssa’s. There was a sense of understanding connecting them. “Who died for you? Your parents?”
Elyssa blew out a long breath.Well, here we fucking go.“My parents—they tried to cross the border. Forme,soIcould have a better future.” She felt tears prick her eyes, frustration sparking within her. Tears were counterproductive. “My uncle protected me from guards and got killed in the process.” She squeezed her eyes shut for a second, her breathing uneven as she came to terms with something else. “My brother is going down the same fucking path. Almost everything he has ever done was to protect me. Countless times, he’s betrayed his goddamn morals for me, put me above himself as ifI’mworth saving more than he is.”
Elyssa noticed a tear running down Amira’s cheek. Instinct told her to reach out, trace the path of the tear, but she held back.
“Theychoseto save you, to protect you—”
Elyssa shook her head furiously. “Why doIdeserve to live? Why didIsurvive and not them?” Elyssa asked in one breath, a desperation in her voice she had never heard from herself. It fucking scared her. All these pent-up emotions had caught up with her. She didn’t like letting herself feel this way. She liked to act on her emotions instead of letting them live in her head.
Amira reached out and took her hand. The warmth radiating from her steadied Elyssa’s furious heart. “It’s not your fault they died. It was their decision, their sacrifice to make. You didn’t cause their deaths.” She said it as if she had experience in that regard too.
Elyssa couldn’t quite believe her, the guilt in her too deep, too set in stone, yet she felt lighter. Just a little. “The point is, I’m still alive, so I’m going to take every damn risk to make my life worthwhile. IfI’mthe one to live, I have to give my parents’ deaths meaning.” It was her life motto, and it was a damn good one.
“If your parents could see you now, I know they would be so proud of you already.” Amira squeezed her hand. “You’re amazing, Elyssa. You’re the strongest, bravest person I know. And you’rereallygood with a bow and arrow.”
A laugh escaped her even as tears burned her eyes. “You’re damn right about that.” Elyssa couldn’t help but inch closer. “You can call me El, by the way.” Falling deep into Amira’s amethyst eyes, Elyssa felt like she was drowning—or maybe flying.
A small smile played on Amira’s lips. “El…I like it.” On instinct, Elyssa’s gaze focused on her mouth, their kiss coming back to the surface.
Amira’s words seemed to travel silently between them. Were those the words of someone who regretted their kiss? Elyssa’s gaze dipped to their joined hands. As if sensing her thoughts, Amira gently removed her hand.
“I’m just gonna say it,” Elyssa announced. “We can pretenditnever happened if it’ll make you feel better, but let’s clear the air right now, okay? You said it yourself, time is running out, and I don’t want anything left unsaid between us.”
Amira played with the fabric of her gown, her hands in her lap. Her attention was trained on her hands instead of Elyssa’s face. “I don’t think it’ll make me feel better.” Candlelight shadowed her features, making her look almost haunted, but beautifully so. “I don’t think I could forget even if I wanted to,” she confessed, the words floating through the small space, aiming right at Elyssa’s heart.
As if by pure force, Elyssa scooted closer, tilting her head towards Amira. She lingered on Amira’s lips, the sparks coursing through her increasing when the princess bit her lip. She was in so much trouble.
Move on?The thought seemed laughable now.
Amira wasn’t just anyone. She wasn’t some crush Elyssa could kiss once and move on from in a heartbeat. This was a new feeling Elyssa was not all that familiar with. It felt like a risk, a dare. If she jumped into the feeling, she could lose big or truly win.
Elyssa inched closer, drawn by the fire that could either burn her to the ground or light her up from the inside. Amira didn’t move, didn’t pull back, her lips slightly parted. Elyssa could feel her warm breath teasing her.
