Staring at the empty bathtub, she wondered how it would feel to drown. To let the water wash away her worries, the darkness inside her,everything.If she couldn’t have fortae, would this be her one way out? She couldn’t live like this, with her power flowing through her, threatening to come out, to doom her, at any moment while she was stuck in this palace.
Varsha went up to her and carefully grabbed the wedding dress, nesting it against her chest. “I know you don’t want to marry him,” Varsha whispered. “No one should marry him. He would be as terrible a husband as he is as a king, and I’m sure an even worse lover.” At Amira’s nonreaction, Varsha sighed. “I’m worried about you. You’re acting like a completely different person. Anot-so-delightfulperson.”
Amira faced Varsha. “And how am I supposed to act? I tried to be…myself.” She said the last word with disgust; her true self was an abomination. “Look where it led me. Everyone hates me, and they have every right to.”
Without warning, Varsha dropped the wedding dress and wrapped Amira in a strong embrace. Amira’s body went limp, not used to such displays of affection. The last time someone had hugged her, it had ended in a disaster. She felt a darkness building up in her chest. Out of the corner of her eye, Amira saw her window rattle and her wardrobe shake slightly.
She pushed Varsha away. “Don’t touch me.”
“I only want to help you. You knowIdon’t hate you.” Varsha scrutinized her expression. “Let me in. Tell me how I can help you. Maybe we can help each other.”
“Can you make me disappear?” A sob got stuck in her throat. Amira forced away the tears that were gathering in her eyes. Varsha seemed stunned. “No? Then youcan’thelp me.” No one could. There was no help, only fortae. “Go,” Amira hissed, and finally, Varsha left the room, a defeated look on her face.
Feeling like her skin was on fire, Amira wished she had a pill to drown out Varsha’s worry. It lingered in the room like the plague clawing at Amira’s skin. Frustrated, she hastily dressed before turning to her window.
She had escaped through her window once before and she could do so again—sneak into town, get her hands on more pills. The thought had crossed her mind before, but she didn’t know where to go even if she had the silver to pay for it.
Feeling the darkness stir in her chest, Amira was almost ready to try anyway. Maybe she could pawn off some of her jewelry. Maybe she could ask around in town until someone led her to whoever sold fortae.
Yet with the sort of fae she’d encountered in Chrysa before, was it worth the risk when Rhay had promised her more pills at his party this evening?
Maybe she should trust him on this. Rhay owed her that much.
* * *
Moonlight shone on her simple, elegant dress. Amira hurried down the corridor to get to Rhay’s party, his promise fuelling her speed. She couldn’t wait to disappear into the crowd, her mind numbed by the pill, her body moving to the music as if dancing was her only purpose.
As she rounded the corner ahead, Karwyn appeared in her sight. Amira was surprised; she hadn’t seen him much in the last week. Not that she minded. Nalani’s face stayed with her as she dropped her gaze and tried to silently move past him.
Please, ignore me.
Karwyn grabbed her arm, his touch chilling. Amira immediately tensed up. She forced her eyes to meet his devilish grin. Karwyn was in the mood to torment her. As her only means of protection, she pulled up the tainted glass in her mind.
“I see you still use Rhay’s tricks,” Karwyn huffed, fighting against the dark glass wall of her mind. “Such a shame he grew tired of you.”
Amira stayed silent, not taking the bait. If she wanted, she could fuel Karwyn’s jealousy by mentioning their kiss and Rhay’s feelings for her—Rhay’sformerfeelings. She assumed that now that he knew her true self, any love he might have held was long gone.
Karwyn took in her outfit. The sparse cutouts and her darker makeup revealed her plans for the night. “I see you are still chasing him. How desperate. Unfortunately for you, I have found a new toy for him.”
“Good for him,” Amira sneered, confused about Karwyn’s taunt. If Rhay had set his eyes on someone new, Amira was sure it wouldn’t be long until Karwyn would plague them too, driven by his jealousy.
“Did I strike a chord? He must have been sick of slumming it with a mere level one.”
Her breath caught. She wanted to throw his words back at him. But she couldn’t reveal her cursed power.Ever.
“I don’t care about Rhay,” she bit out.
The pressure on her arm intensified. Karwyn was starting to lose his cool. A thin layer of sweat coated her forehead. Could Karwyn get out of her face? She needed fortae, and who knew how long Rhay’s dealer was going to stay. Her eyes shifted to the corridor leading up to the party.
Karwyn caught her stare. “Somewhere pressing to be? I am sure no one will miss you there. After all, even your drug dealer friend left you. How are you handling your time off from your little pills?”
Karwyn knew about fortae? Of course, hisshadowhad probably informed him of it. But if he knew of her other secret, she would already be locked up in the underground with Cirny. The thought of the pathetic witch froze the blood in her veins. She wouldnotend up like her.
Pulling her closer, Karwyn whispered in her ear, “Honestly, you look terrible, dear fiancée. You are lucky I am not marrying you for your looks.”
“No, just for the little power I have and for an heir. A high king without family is at risk of losing his legacy, right? You’re bound to this marriage as much as I am. Why don’t you just leave me alone?”
Karwyn’s eyes clouded, but he recovered quickly. “Do not assume I put all my eggs in one basket, Amira. I might have found some long-lost family,” he said.
