Lora tried hard not to look away. He knew. Heknew,and she hadn’t told him. The coldness in her heart remained the same. She didn’t think she’d broken the agreement. She forced out the panic, focusing on the pale colour of Eyden’s eyes, so full of understanding and hope. His head inched closer to hers.
“We can’t do this,” she said, pulling out of his grasp at last. Even if he knew, he wouldn’t be able to stop this. She only had a week left. A single week. It wouldn’t be fair to him to drag him closer into this when she would just leave again.
Eyden ran a hand through his curls, exhaling. “Why not, special one? Except forthat.You know we both want this.”
A tear ran down her cheek. She did want this. For fuck’s sake, she’d wanted this for so long. She couldn’t even bother to try and deny it to herself anymore.
“I’m nothing but ashes,” Lora whispered. “I keep trying, but I’m doomed. I’m fuckingdoomed,and nothing will change that.”
“I don’t believe that,” Eyden said, his voice hard like steel. “And even if you’re barely an ember, even if you’re ashes, I’ll take any part of you I can get. We can figure it out together.”
“I’ll doom you too,” she said, shaking her head. “Ruinyou.” She would be dead soon enough. Why drag Eyden down with her?
Eyden took her hand, the contact sending a wave of electricity right to her flaming heart. “I don’t fucking care. Take my heart, burn it to ashes, doom it for eternity for all I care. It would be my fucking privilege.”
His words hit her like a wave of fire, burning down all her defences. “You don’t want that.This,whatever it is”—she gestured between the two of them with her free hand—“can’t happen.”
Eyden didn’t back down, squeezing her hand, sending a fresh spark through her body. “Don’t tell me it can’t. All that matters is if youwantthis.”
“Eyden…”
“Don’t lie to me, Lora. Not this time. Don’t tell me you don’t feel anything.” His gaze flickered to her mouth as if he was remembering all the times their lips had touched and the feeling that had followedevery single fucking time. “Don’t make excuses. Don’t play pretend when we both know it’s all a fucking a lie. I’mdyinghere.”
She was dying to give in, dying to touch him, to let her feelings run free instead of pushing them down again andagain. “Eyden—”
“Can’t you see thatthisis what’s ruining me?” That look in his eyes, his broken urgent voice, it was all too much. The wall she’d built around her feelings broke wide open.
“It’s ruining me too,” Lora confessed right before she captured his lips with hers, stealing his breath this time. Eyden melted against her, and she deepened the kiss, running her tongue along his lip.
Eyden groaned against her mouth, his free hand moving to her face and drawing her closer as he caressed her tongue with a desperation she felt deep in her bones. Lora’s hand travelled up his chest, feeling his heartbeat quicken to the rhythm of her own.
Kissing Eyden felt righter than anything else in her messed-up life. Her worries disappeared, her tears dried on her cheeks. Although the burning spark between them felt familiar, this kiss felt different. It was more than desire, need, desperation.
It felt like cominghome.
Chapter39
Eyden
A blood contract. The king had trapped her into some sort of agreement. Eyden didn’t know how he hadn’t figured it out earlier. Lora would’ve gone home by now. Had she signed the agreement in order to get the cure? What exactly had Lora been forced to agree to?
As they pulled apart, Eyden could only think that whatever she had gotten herself into, he would find a way to free her. He would do anything to remove that heartbroken look in her eyes. She was stronger than she realised, keeping this all to herself. Somehow, she’d found the strength to fight, to help Eyden even while she was bound to that monster.
Eyden’s hands moved to her waist, keeping her close, afraid she’d slip away again, his fingers clasping the silver material of her dress. Breathing hard, Lora leaned her forehead against his. A shy smile appeared on her face. The corner of his mouth pulled up. Kissing her felt too good. Tooright.He had been waiting for this for so long, waiting until this piece of his heart finally found its rightful place. Did he even deserve it? Did he deserve her?
“No going back,” he said, wanting the reassurance that they’d finally crossed that bridge for good.
Lora’s smile widened, and something tugged at his heart, something he’d never felt before. It should scare him, yet it didn’t. “No going back,” she agreed. “But we should get going.”
“We should.” Eyden reluctantly let go of her only to pull her back again, planting a quick kiss on her lips. “To be continued,” he said, catching her gaze as he took a step back, letting her catch her breath.
“I’m counting on it,” Lora said, and he couldn’t help but remember that time in Rubien when they’d kissed in the woods. He’d thought it was the beginning then, but it had been the beginning of the end for them.
But now they had a new chance. No more lies, no more torturous pretence.
Eyden gave her one last smile, then turned to the door, carefully checking if the coast was clear.
“Wait, take this,” Lora said, handing him a folded piece of paper. “I updated the map. In case we get separated, you better take it now.”
