“It’s all right, Amira. I’ve got you,” he said as he drew her into a warm hug. “I’ve got you. I promise I’ll be there no matter what. We’ll find ways to see each other even if Karwyn forbids it. I won’t abandon you.”
Amira pulled back to stare deep into his eyes, letting the shimmering blue calm her down. If she could focus only on them for just one second, maybe the weight on her chest would be lifted. Hypnotised by his eyes, she didn’t notice that his face was inching towards hers until she felt his warm lips on hers.
She closed her eyes on instinct. The fire of Rhay’s kiss wasn’t strong enough to heat up her lips. A disorienting numbness took over her body. This kiss was nothing like her last one. The pleasing twist in her stomach, the frantic desire to hold the kiss forever, the tingle in her heart, they were all missing. Instead of blossoming her feelings into love, the kiss was filling her with an overwhelming sense of hopelessness.
Rhay’s tongue caressed her lips and Amira came fully back to her senses. She pulled her head back and gently pushed Rhay away. A strange irritation replaced her numbness. Her friendship with Rhay seemed meaningless now. Her chest burned with a sense of betrayal. Was this all he was after?
“Why did you have to do that?” she asked, taking a step back.
Rhay looked utterly confused. “I thought that’s what you wanted.”
“And I thought I’d found arealfriend. Someone with no ulterior motives! Why did you have to ruin it, Rhay?” She ran her fingers through her hair, twisting the ends. “Are you trying to anger Karwyn more and damn me in the process? How do you think this will end? Karwyn will end the engagement and I’ll just be with you instead? Do you think you’re so irresistible that I’d have to fall for you? Or did you think I’m an easy target, an inexperienced and powerless fae?”
She wasn’t sure if it was sadness or anger building in his cloudy eyes. Maybe a mix of both.
“Who do you take me for?” Rhay asked. “You gave me signs, Amira.Youasked me how to make a guy like you. And that evening in the drawing room… I betrayed my best friend for you. I thought you knew how I felt.”
“It wasn’t about you, none of it was about you!” She was screaming now, with no care for anyone who could overhear her. “I thought you were my friend. Why isn’t that enough? Why do you twist my actions to fit your story?” Her voice broke. No, she shouldn’t be crying. He wouldn’t take her seriously if she was crying.
Rhay brushed a hand through his precisely styled hair. “Shit. Amira, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you. But you can’t deny you’ve been taking advantage of me ever since you’ve arrived.”
Amira scoffed. “Really? And how would I have done that? I have no power, I have nothing useful to give. Was I taking advantage by asking you to do the right thing and free the prisoners? How dare I, right? How dare I ask you to think of someone other than yourself.”
“It’s not that simple.” Rhay dropped his gaze.
The words left her lips before she had time to think about them. “Do you know what they’ve done with the bodies? BecauseIdo,” she furiously whispered. Her desire to hurt him, to force him to have a reaction, any reaction, was getting stronger. He looked around like a little child caught misbehaving. It only fuelled her anger. “Did Karwyn tell you where he took them? Do you know what happens in the underground?” She plunged the knife deeper, waiting for him to lash out against her, to finally stop being the perfect guy who always tried to even things out.
Rhay finally looked at her and she could see that she had aimed right. Dark stormy clouds had gathered in his usually calm blue eyes. “Amira, you should stop,” he warned her.
No.She wanted him to listen. She wanted him to see what kind of monster Karwyn was. “I think you should know who you’re friends with.” He grabbed her hand and she could feel him trying to fight Amira’s anger. She tore her hand from his. “You can’t pretend everything is fine all the time, Rhay.” The heat of the argument made her raise her voice. “I’m sure you know what happens in the underground. You can’t tell me you don’t know about Karwyn’s sick experiments or whatever he’s doing down there.”
Rhay looked like the picture of perfect surprise. Pretence, Amira thought. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said. “Whatever you saw, there must be an explanation.”
She thought of Nalani, sweet and gentle Nalani. A mother without children. Tears started flooding again, briefly overshadowing her anger. “Why did he have to kill her?” Her voice broke, turning into a whisper. “She was just a maid.”
She pulled at a strand of hair. Sadness and anger swirled inside her. She felt like her skin was cracking open, slowly letting out the strange beast that was growing inside of her. A burning sensation radiated from her body, turning her thoughts numb and confused.
“I can’t handle this anymore, this twisted place. I want to go home.”
“Good luck with that,” Rhay said, turning away from her. “Karwyn has just been selected for the High King Contest. The first part is done. He’s almost assured to be the new high king and you his queen.” Rhay’s bitter words were like poison to her mind.
So she had lost. Her fate was sealed. Karwyn would become high king, ruling, playing his twisted games. All the while Amira would have to watch. For a second, Amira saw her whole life spread out in front of her. She saw the misery and pain. A life empty of any pleasure, at the mercy of Karwyn’s cruel moods. She had dreamt of escaping her brother’s control, but she had only exchanged a demon for the devil.
Who knew how many fae she would see disappear into the underground, never to be seen again? And all this time, she would have to imagine the kind of dreadful torture they would have to live through while she was powerless to change anything.
Rhay’s panicked voice reached her ears. “Amira, what are you doing?”
She looked up. The whole room was shaking.
“I…I don’t know.” Her body was twitching, trying desperately to keep something inside of her. Something dark and menacing. Something that should never escape.
A voice screamed in her head.Keep it inside! Stop doing that, you freak of nature!The voice was getting louder and louder.
A sharp pain tore through her face. More pain, all over her body. Invisible hands were furiously hitting her. A scream tore at her ears. Was it hers? But her mouth was shut.
It was a memory, long suppressed. Wild lilac eyes stared at her. His hands were stained with her blood. The pain had been almost unbearable, yet she had welcomed it with relief back then. Now it just felt like she was broken apart, each bone in her body turning to dust. The overpowering odour of freshly drawn blood mixed with the scent of burned flesh.
She coughed up several times in her hands. Droplets of blood coated her skin, yet she seemed to be the only one seeing them. Rhay was more concerned about holding on to her bed’s pillars to avoid falling down.
