“You’recontent. There’s a difference.”
“Ican’tbe with her.”He said softly. As much as he wanted her, he wasn’t good enough. Not by a long shot.
“Says who?”
“Everything. I’m not good enough for her. I work with her brother. Her family would never accept someone like me in their folds.”
“Strong, brave, caring and would do anything to protect their loved one. Yes, terrible qualities.”Dr. Grace shook her head in mock disgust. She thought she was helping, making him see his worth but that wasn’t what her family would see.
“Try man-whore, gone all the time, insensitive at times,”Vincefired back, pushing to his feet. “I’m done with this conversation. Nothing is going to change between Fiona and me.”
“Only because youwon’tlet it. You’ve set up so many land mines around your heart, even you’re afraid to go near it.”
Vincerubbed his chest absently. He did guard his heart, but for good reason. Dr. Gracedidn’tunderstand and hewasn’tgoing to explain any more. He had said all he was going to say on the matter.
“Let her in,Vince. You might be surprised what happens.”
What she was asking was impossible. “Good day, Doc.”Vincestrode out of her office. He paused, when he saw Fiona looking up at him with worry in her eyes. “Let’s go,” he said gently. Itwasn’ther fault he was in turmoil. Dr. Grace made him think about things he had no right to think about. Fiona could never be his. It was time to finally put words with reality.
“Okay, what is your deal?” Fiona snapped when they walked into the house. “You have been silent since we left the doctor’soffice.”
“Just drop it.”Vincewaved her off. Hedidn’twant to talk about what he had discussed with the doc. His head was still trying to process it all. He needed time to think.
He loved Fiona. It scared the living shit out of him. When someone usually found love they were happy, not him. Because he knew he could never have her. He wished he had never talked to Dr. Grace and she hadn’t forced him to realize what he felt. Oblivion was preferable. Allowing Fiona to find someone else to love her the way she deserved was the kindest thing he could do. For once, he had to think of someone other than himself. He loved her enough to let her go.
“No.” She pulled back on his bicep, stopping him.Vinceclosed his eyes, blocking out the feel of her hands on him. “Talk to me.”
Hecouldn’t. There was nothing to say. In a short time, Squeaker would call with news, and Fiona would be out of his life. What good would come of telling her how he felt when there was nothing either of them could do?
“Unless,” Fiona hesitated, pulling away from him. “Dr. Grace told you what we talked about. That you are disgusted with me.”
“What?” Where the hell did she get an idea like that?
He turned around to see Fiona staring down at her feet. He had no idea what they had discussed but whatever it was upset her. “Idon’tknow what you gals talked about, but my silenceisn’tdirected at you.”
“Then what is it? The not knowing is killing me. My head is swirling with all sorts of bad scenarios and your avoidanceisn’thelping.”
“I just need to process some stuff. Dr. Grace told me some things Ididn’twant to listen to.”
“Things like what?”
“None of your business,” he snapped before scrubbing his face. “Ididn’tmean to yell,” he said more gently.
“You’re right,” Fiona said, unable to meet his eye, but he still caught a tear sliding down her cheek. “It’s none of my business.I’llleave you alone.” She stepped past him. To her room no doubt.
Vincegrowled in frustration, grabbing her arm to halt her. Hecouldn’tlet her go thinking the worst of him. “Youdon’tunderstand.”
“You’re right, Idon’t.” She tried to pull her arm free.
“I love you, Fiona. God help me but I do andthere’snothing I can do about it.”
Fiona gaped at him. A series of emotions crossed her face. Confusion, doubt, hope.
He cupped her face, imprinting her memory, it was all he would have left to carry him through the rest of his days. “But Ican’thave you. I’m not good enough. Idon’tdeserve someone like you.”
“That’s my decision to make.” Her eyes darted back and forth, looking into his as her hand cupped his cheek.
“Not in this,” he argued, pulling her hand away. “Your family would never accept me; your brother would kill me for even thinking about half the things I want to do to you. It would cause fights and would break your heart. I could never make you choose between your family and me. I’m not worth it.”Vincedid the hardest thing he had ever done in his life. He walked away. It was easier four years ago, he hadn’t known her as well as he’d come to over the past few days.
