“I know you can, Goldilocks. You are braver than most soldiers I know. You could have been like some of those other women and cowered in fear or ran away screaming, but you didn’t. You faced the danger head on and helped me. Plus, with the information you know, it’ll save hundreds if not thousands of lives.”
He thought that highly of her? She had never looked at it that way. Adrenaline was pumping through her system and she just reacted. She still wasn’t ready to admit the fact she had killed someone. Adrenalinewas whatwas keeping her going and soon everything would come catching up with her.
“I’m scared to go home,” Hannah confessed.
“Why? I’m sure they have been really worried about you.” He was positive they would be overjoyed she was coming home.
“Before I left my parents had warned me not to go, but I didn’t listen.”
“You think they’ll blame you for what happened to you?”Benguessed.
“If I had just listened none of this would have ever happened.”
Benreached out and stroked her cheek. Hannah tensed at his touch and looked up at him with tears pooling her eyes. He wiped a lone tear that fell down her cheek. “Please don’t blame yourself. You couldn’t have known. Your parents love you and will just be thankful you are home. I’m sure your brothers will be ecstatic.”
Hannah didn’t feel as confident but didn’t want to contradict him. Her family had ingrained in her that O’Connell’s must always keep up appearances. Ben wouldn’t care how fucked up her family was and would pretend not to notice her disappearance or if asked show grief. She was the black sheep in the family and doubted anyone really noticed she was gone. They were probably grateful they didn’t have to worry about her. Hannah pulled away fromBen’s touch not trusting herself to get too close to him. She didn’t want to get to close to him just to have him vanish again. Her poor battered heart could only take so much.Benpulled away and sat back but she still caught the flash of hurt across his face. It was better this way. They would each go about their separate lives soon and would have no reason to see each other after she gave him the information he wanted. She would need totry toget her life back together. Find a job; get her own bank account and maybe move out of her parent’s home. So many things ran through her head of what she needed to do that it caused a headache. Hannah closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind. She pictured herself lying on a beach with the waves rolling over her toes. She watched the sun set over the horizon. It was her last thought before drifting to sleep.
Hannah woke up startled feeling hands reaching for her. No, not again. “No,” she screamed fighting the hands grabbing for her. She didn’t want to go away with them. Why couldn’t they just leave her alone? Why couldn’t she ever escape them? “Leave me alone you sick fuck,” she screamed.
“Hannah,” a voice yelled somewhere in the distance. She thought she recognized the voice, but it was so far away. She was being dragged down the tunnel. A hand touched her face, and she tried to turn away from him. “Hannah,” the voice said again only closer. Ben. It was Ben.
Hannah popped her eyes open and saw Ben hovering over her, shaking her shoulder and touching her face. Hannah scrambled away from him and tried to calm her racing heart. It was a dream. Just a dream. No one was coming after her. No onewas going to takeher down the tunnel again.
“Hannah?”Benasked questionably.
“It was just a dream,” she said reassuringly but she didn’t know if it was for him or her.
“Want to talk about it?”
Hannah shook her head vigorously. Never, she never wanted to talk about it, ever again.
“You need to talk about it with someone. How about once we get to base you can talk to the base therapist?”
Hannah did not want to talk to some shrink about what happened but knew that she should. Twice now she had lashed out at someone. It was only a matter of time before she hurt someone or herself. She had heard about PDS from her friend who was a nurse and the ramifications.
“Did I hurt you?” Hannah hoped she hadn’t hit him during her struggles.
“No, Goldilocks. Fit as a fiddle.”Benrelaxed back in his seat seeing her calmer.
Hannah sat closer to him breathing in his spicy scent. “I’m sorry for attacking you.”
Benturned his head and looked down at her. She looked up at him, and their lips were almost touching. “You don’t ever have to apologize for that.”
Hannah smiled up at him and rested her head on his shoulder. “Thank you, Ben. For everything,” she finished with a yawn and fell back asleep.
~
Benwatched her sleep for a while not wanting to move. Circulation was getting cut off in his left arm and tingles of pain were shooting through him, but he would cut his arm off before he moved her. This was the second time Hannah had initiated touching him since rescuing her, he wasn’t moving for anything. She felt right laying against him. It was why he had fled from her all those years ago. He saw his future with her. He could imagine kids and living on the ranch. It had scared the hell out of him at eighteen and it scared him just as much now. He was dedicated to Delta Force. He didn’t want to give that up. It was why he stuck to one-night stands. There was no chance of his emotions leading him astray. Dammit, why did it have to be Hannah he rescued and make him second guess himself? He wasn’t in the business of second-guessing. You usually only got one chance. She was the link to finding the person who betrayed them. He had to stay focused. He promised himself that he would keep her safe and that’s what he would do. Even if he had to protect her from himself.Bencontinued to watch her even after his little pep talks to himself. Watching her, trusting him to keep her safe while she slept. She tried to project a hard-ass image and that she was fine, but he could see the shadows under her eyes, the fear clouding her beautiful hazel eyes. She was unlike any woman he had ever met. Her fear of not wanting to see her parents was unwarranted. Her parents weren’t always the easiest to get along with, but she was still their child. Her parents were very protective of her. He would get a message to them once they landed. They had a right to know she was alive.Benwas thankful for the mission that would keep her close to him for a little while longer. He wasn’t ready to lose her again yet. He had tried forgetting her by consuming his time with missions and nameless woman. It never helped. Women didn’t compare to her and seeing some of his friends come home to loved ones made his heartache for someone to be waiting for him too.
“You look content,” Sunshine said coming to sit by them.
Benshould have been with his team throughout the flight going over the new mission, but he had been reluctant to leave Hannah. The guys would give him hell for it too he had no doubt.
“Don’t start.”Bendidn’t want to talk about his obsession with Hannah and frankly, it was nobody’s business but his own.
“What’s up with you?” Sunshine asked losing his cocky grin. “I’ve never seen you hooked on a woman before.”
“There’s something different about her. I can’t explain it.” That was all he would say.Benwasn’t willing to explain why he was so attracted to Hannah. But the moment he saw her at the lake with her hazel eyes locking on him and coming out of the water like a sea goddess he had been lost. Who was he kidding? He was lost even before that. He just couldn’t admit it to himself until that day at the lake.
