Gabriel licked into her, tongue dancing and stroking, lighting Lucy up and making her want more.But the Drakes would be joining them any moment, and Spofford was meant to be organizing tea for them, so Lucy regretfully pulled back.
She stroked the hair away from his temples, searching the fathomless depths of his black eyes.“All right?”
“I will be,” he said, one corner of his mouth kicking up in a brief half smile.“As long as you stay.Everyone’s gone.You won’t leave, will you?”
“Not even if you banish me,” she said, trying for a lightness she didn’t feel.
But while as his smile grew, warming his eyes and bringing color to his lean cheeks, Lucy wondered if that was a promise she would be able to keep.
ChapterEighteen
Being back at Thornecliff was more surreal than Gabriel could have predicted.Around every corner was something he knew as intimately as the back of his own hand, yet everything was subtly different.Older.Shifted.
It was the same way he felt about his own body, which felt likehis…and yet bore scars he didn’t recognize, marks of a life he’d lived but now couldn’t recall.
Being back at Thornecliff was like that.Familiar, on a level too deep for reason, but haunted by the absences of those who had once lived here with him.
He felt like the only survivor of a disaster, disoriented and shocked and vaguely guilty.
Gabriel was immeasurably grateful for Fitz and Caroline, and of course for Lucy.The Drakes kept the conversation going, bright and lively and endlessly interesting.
And Lucy… She was sunshine, streaming in through the darkened windows of this manor house full of ghosts, banishing the shadows and brightening every room she entered, he thought as he clattered down the grand staircase and out the front door to meet Fitz at the stables.
It had been about a fortnight since his fall, and though the nightmares came every night now, not a single memory had returned to Gabriel.
Lucy remained undaunted in her determination to see his full memory restored, but Gabriel had begun to consider that he might need to pick up the pieces left behind by whoever he had been, and cobble together a new life from the shattered remnants.
Now that his headaches had abated, the wound on the back of his skull healed over and his physical health returned, Gabriel planned to throw himself into learning all he could of the current state of affairs with the Thornecliff estate and holdings.They’d gone unsupervised long enough during his convalescence.
He frowned, imaging what Uncle Roman would have to say about letting things go to the extent that Gabriel had while ill.
In his defense, though he’d been trained from early childhood to care for the many Thornecliff properties and concerns, he had no memory of doing so.But today he planned to tell Fitz their ride would be a circuit of the tenant farms, and later he would delve into the account books.
Having a solid plan did more to dispel his lingering dark mood than anything else, and he rushed through his kippers and eggs to get on with it.Lucy and Caroline joined them for breakfast, deep in discussion of some novel or other, and Gabriel relayed his intentions to Fitz.
Shrugging agreeably, Fitz swallowed his bite of toast and said, “That sounds very sober and respectable of you, dear fellow.You are to be commended, I’m sure.”
The lingering miasma of last night’s dream swept over him again like one of the waves that lapped incessantly against the inside of his head in the cold, cramped darkness of his nightmare.
“Don’t tell me,” Gabriel grated out.“In addition to all my other vices and sins, I’ve become the sort of landowner who neglects his tenants and ignores his estates.”
Fitz crunched down on another bite of toast, seeming not to notice Gabriel’s scowl.“I’m not sure.I would’ve assumed so—you certainly never talked about them.But you also never seem light in the purse so all your estates must be doing well enough.I suppose at the very least, you must have hired a competent manager.”
Blowing out a breath, Gabriel made a mental note to figure out who his man of business was, and to write to him for a full accounting of his properties.
In the meantime, he needed to sort out these nightmares.He hated feeling like this, as though he was one stray thought away from descending into a full-blown, furious melancholy at any moment.
“Are you all right?”Fitz asked, shooting a glance at the ladies who were still involved in their book conversation.
“Fine,” Gabriel said shortly, pushing the remains of his kippers about his plate.“Have you finished?The horses are waiting.”
Fitz hesitated, clearly thinking about pressing the matter, but when Gabriel pointedly pushed his chair back and stood, Fitz bounded up to join him.He dropped a kiss on Caroline’s upturned lips—Gabriel chafed at not being able to do the same to Lucy but had to content himself with bowing over her hand and pressing a secret kiss to her knuckles.
Her pretty blush lifted his spirits, and Gabriel was feeling almost himself again as they strode down the path to the stables at the back of the house.
Until Fitz said, in his diffident way, “I say, old man, are you feeling quite the thing this morning?If you’ve a rotten head, we needn’t ride.”
“I told you I was fine,” Gabriel started, but deflated when he saw the way Fitz’s shoulders curled down a bit.Christ, what sort of man abused his friends for having the audacity to inquire about his well-being?“Or at least,” he amended, “I should like to be.But it’s nothing to stop us going for our ride.In fact, I think it will help.”
