Was anything he’d said to her true?
Yes, a small, silly part of her insisted.It could not be so, it simply could notbethat she, who had always held a part of herself back from everyone in her life, had given herself entirely to a man whose true name she didn’t even know.
It was almost funny, and she heard herself laughing but it sounded wrong, like a coughing sob only her eyes were dry.
She could feel the concern coming off her mother and sister in waves, so she tried to get herself under control.They needed her to be strong.She couldn’t go to pieces.
“I vow, I will never evenlookat another gossip column,” Lucy said fiercely, her arm stealing around Gemma’s shoulders.“And if I ever see the Duke of Thornecliff again, he had better hope I don’t have a pistol.”
Bloody Thorne.Gemma wished she could be surprised that Thorne had clearly recognized Hal—the Duke of Havilocke—when he was here, and had chosen to spread rumors about it rather than tell Gemma directly.
It was exactly the sort of drama he loved to create, the puppet master setting things in motion and watching them all dance to his tune.
“None of this mess is of Thorne’s making,” Gemma said wearily.“Hal is the one who lied.”
“Everyone else lied too,” Lucy pointed out.“I can’t believe it of Bess, but she must have known.”
Another painful shock lanced through Gemma as the sheer enormity of Hal’s deception hit her.“Yes.She must.”
“Well, he is the duke.”Henrietta stroked Gemma’s hair.“He owns most everything in the county.People here depend upon him.They might be afraid to speak out.”
She spoke as one who had not always been a duchess, and Gemma knew she would be correct in most circumstances, but Gemma had seen the way Hal was with his people.They didn’t fear him; they loved him.
He did not demand their loyalty; he had earned it.
Maybe not everything about Hal was a lie.Maybe she knew him better than she thought.
And maybe she was grasping at straws, trying to find a way to make it not matter that Hal, her Hal, the barman who dug wells and thatched roofs in his spare time, was actually the Duke of Havilocke.
“I don’t know why no one saw fit to inform us,” Gemma said dully.“It doesn’t really signify.The earl has asked me to marry him.When he returns to Five Mile House, I shall accept, and we will begin our new lives.”
“Oh!That’s wonderful,” Henrietta said.She sounded less certain than Gemma would have liked.
“Yes, wonderful,” Lucy echoed, biting her lip.
A brittle silence settled over the room.Henrietta broke it.“You know, dear, you don’t have to marry Stonehaven if you don’t wish to.”
The words caught Gemma on the raw, breaking open old wounds and lashing over new ones.“I do have to marry him, Mama.Of course I do.”
“But what about love?”Henrietta turned damp blue eyes on Gemma, beseeching.“Your father was always most severe upon the topic—you are to marry only for love!”
“Love won’t take care of this family.”
“This family will be fine?—”
“Oh?”Gemma asked, provoked beyond what she could bear.“Who is going to take care of this family if I don’t?Will you rouse yourself from your grief long enough to notice that Lucy’s gowns are too small and entirely wrong for a girl her age?Will you come up with a way to fund a Season for her, with all that entails of lodgings, and a new wardrobe, and securing invitations to the best balls and assemblies?Will you look up from the devoted, besotted love you shared with Father to notice if that debut turns into an utter debacle, as mine did?No.It will be me.It’s always me.”
“Gemma, stop,” Lucy protested, pulling away.“You go too far.”
“No,” Henrietta said faintly, holding up a trembling white hand.“Your sister is right, Lucy.I haven’t been the most attentive mother.I do tend to get rather too caught up in my own feelings.I feel things so very deeply—but that is no excuse for the fact that I have not been there for you when you needed me.I lost my love, my partner, the companion of my heart—but you girls lost your father.You should have been able to count on your mother, and you could not.I’m sorry for that, Gemma.And I’m sorry you have felt so alone, even when you were younger, but you’re not alone now.”
Henrietta enfolded Gemma in a soft embrace that smelled of roses and face powder.Gemma breathed it in as Lucy came back to her side and threw her arms around the two of them.
“You’re not alone,” Lucy repeated fiercely.“I’ve tried to tell you, to show you, but you have to believe it.We love you.We are a family.We’re in this together.”
“Thank you,” Gemma could hardly force the words out of her tight throat.She rested her forehead on her mother’s shoulder.“That means so much to me.And I do believe it, Lucy, and I’m sorry, Mama, I should not have spoken so.”
“Do not apologize, dearest.You have every right to be upset.And you don’t have to be strong for us, you know.You can cry if you want to.I find it helps, sometimes.”
