* * *
Ana had not felt any great emotion at the sight of London.It was dirty and stuffy and altogether too gray.How she had missed the intricacies of Spanish architecture and tradition!But at her first glimpses of Abbeygate and the Surrey Hill community that surrounded it, she wascompletamente enamorada.How could she not be in love with it all?Still, she could hardly believe she would be the mistress of such a house.She never would have guessed that shy, stoic Captain Ashmore had ownership of such a grand estate.She would be somewhat unnerved and intimidated by it all if it weren’t for their arrangement affording them both great privacy and anonymity.This would be a place for her to heal.To heal and to hide.
While the house was stately, its tall exterior dotted with windows and parted by a large wooden door at the entrance, it did not make Ana feel small and insignificant like the Ashmore estate had in London.Instead, it felt just large enough to be inviting but not so large as to eliminate any feelings of coziness or comfort.Ivy curled up the gold-brown brick, covering nearly half the exterior and framing a good portion of the windows as well.The remnants of fall blooms were scattered about the gardens, their faded colors peeking about the curving paths.Ana had also spotted a small hewn stone chapel through the trees that she would surely be visiting each week.It was almost enough to distract her from the squeamishness of her stomach.
The staff was just as lovely as the estate, although they were quite pointed in their behavior toward the couple, just as Peter had expected.
“We have prepared your mother’s rooms for your wife and the adjoining rooms for yourself, my lord.I believe such arrangements should be pleasing to you.”
Burnsey, the butler, had bowed his head, but Ana didn’t miss the teasing glint in his eye or the twitching smile that played at his lips.For all he knew, they would be like any other recently married couple, eager to spend every moment in each other’s company, waking and sleeping.And while the two had experienced proximity while they were escaping San Sebastián, they had never done so with carefully listening ears and watchful eyes all about.
“Thank you, Burnsey.Those arrangements will be perfect indeed,” Peter said.“Allow me to present the Honorable Mrs.Ana María Ashmore, my wife.”
Widened eyes and a gaping mouth made it clear that this Mr.Burnsey had not expected Peter to attach himself to a foreigner.But as Ana scanned his features, she did not see any hints of fear or hatred, only surprise.For that, she was entirely grateful.
Still, Ana would not permit any sort of anxiousness about her country of origin.She would make herself familiar with the staff here, and in doing so, fully intended to continue with her traditional greeting ofbesos,as it would help her feel more comfortable as well.So she stepped forward, kissing Burnsey on each cheek, much to his immediate embarrassment.When she stepped back, his face was flushed, and his words were stammering.“Welcome to Abbeygate, Mrs.Ashmore,” he managed to say with a slight smile.
Her new title could not feel more foreign or ill-fitting.If she was to have some degree of safety and comfort here at Abbeygate, she wished the staff would address her as a friend.
“Ana,” she corrected, her Spanish pronunciation tall and bright.
“Of course,” he replied with a nod.“Mrs.Ana Ashmore.”
“No, just Ana.”
Burnsey locked eyes with Peter, who chuckled slightly.Then he placed a hand on her back and leaned in to whisper in her ear.
“I know you prefer to be called Ana, but here, you must allow them to use a title.It’s their way of showing love and respect for you.”
He could certainly choose to be called by a title of sorts, but Ana would go by the name her mother and father had given her.She had inherited every bit of fire and stubbornness that her father had possessed and would not give up a fight easily.
“Because I marry you.Not becausesoyunalady.I no want to separate me from they.”Ana would not pretend to love an identity she felt wasn’t true.It felt like a lie, a secret.
Peter cleared his throat, betraying his discomfort.“Please, Ana.It’s not about separation.It is merely about maintaining a standard that has been normal for years.This is our way of life here—our tradition, you might say.”
Tradition.He would know this word held such power over her.Peter had always respected the traditions ofEspañaand herfamilia.In this matter, she would have to do the same for him.
“Bueno.Mrs.Ana.I no understand why we have to be so formal,pero bueno.”
Peter’s eyebrows raised ever higher, but he pressed her hand and nodded to Burnsey.
“Please alert me or Mrs.Thompson, the housekeeper, if there is anything we can help you with,” Burnsey said.
“I will do that.Gracias.”Ana María nodded, stretching her smile as bright and as wide as the sky.
A faint redness tinged Burnsey’s cheeks and, much to Ana’s surprise, his face parted in a wavering smile.And with it, any tightness in her shoulders relaxed.If she could put the staff at ease, she could be certain that she would be happy here.Even though she and Peter both had a great deal to learn in their marriage and their new responsibilities, surely this was a good indication of their hopeful future.
“It is a pleasure to meet you, Mrs.Ana.We are so pleased to serve you.”
“Gracias, Mrs.Tom-som.”Ana stumbled over the name as she pressed quickbesosto the woman’s round cheeks.
“Can I favor you with a tour of the estate?”Mrs.Thompson asked as she stepped forward.Her flat, swallowed accent was even more foreign than Burnsey’s.The short lady was quite petite and struck more of a wiry figure than a motherly one.But her cheeks were flushed with color and her eyes were bright with genuine happiness.This may not be Ana’s ownmamá, but she surely was a kind and trusted figure here.
However, Ana’s condition would not allow for a tour at present.Even now, her legs trembled with exhaustion and her stomach throbbed with pain.Ana wanted to see every room in the house, explore the place that her child would come to love someday.But for now, her sickness could not be ignored.
“Lo siento, but I no feel very well.I needun pocorest, I believe.”Her hands jumped to her midsection before she could pull them downward again.Would Mrs.Thompson guess at the real cause for her maladies?Not wanting to give the impression of her condition, Ana rubbed a hand across her forehead, feigning a headache.How difficult it was already proving to keep such a sensitive secret from these people who would be caring for her and working alongside her.
Ana tried not to tremble with exhaustion as Mrs.Thompson assisted her in changing into a more comfortable day gown.They would have to find a maid, at least according to Peter.Ana was happy to care for such responsibilities on her own, but he insisted that it would get increasingly difficult with her pregnancy.
