“Please, will you rest?I see your exhaustion, though you try to hide it from me.”
“But Esperanza...”
“She will sleep here in her cradle at your side.I’ll be in my rooms if she cries.”
“Bueno.”
Light sleep had arrested her quickly, but it did not have hold over her.Every few minutes, she had burst awake, sitting upright in her bed, panic flooding her, an untouchable sea choking her until her gaze found Esperanza at her side.The maddening pattern repeated for nearly half an hour until exhaustion finally overtook her and she sank into sleep in the watery deep.
Chapter 34
July 6, 1814, Abbeygate, Surrey Hills, England
Just when Peter had thought he had begun to understand his wife more wholly, she had been delivered of a child.And everything had changed most drastically.He knew the delivery of their child had been incredibly taxing upon Ana’s body and mind, more than he would likely ever truly understand.But he only wished he did not feel so helpless.Even if he changed every one of Essie’s soiled diapers, it seemed he could never do enough to relieve the burden on Ana’s shoulders.
As of late, she was irritated when he spent long hours at her side but seemed equally as bothered when he spent long hours away from her.To see their trust and bond begin to crumble like the walls of San Sebastián sent panic through Peter’s heart.
Fortunately for them both, Esperanza was an incredibly sweet babe, even at such a young and needy age.She had the sweetest lips, and her skin was unbelievably soft.Even her wee cry seemed musical.Peter was entirely besotted with her.It was a blessing he had never even hoped to pray for.Could he really leave her?
Peter looked up from his pacing, finding himself outside the nursery door, unanticipated.But all was quiet inside.Esperanza must be asleep.So, he continued down the hall to Ana’s rooms.He tapped his fingers on the door.
“Sí?”
He cracked open the door and saw Elena arranging the bedclothes on Ana’s bed.
“Elena, have you seen Mrs.Ashmore this afternoon?”
“I believe she is taking asiestain the nursery, sir.And thebebaas well.”
“That is a rest that is well-deserved.Will you please come find me when they are both awake?I wish to speak with her.”
“Sí, claro.”
“Thank you, Elena.”
The accoucheur had clearly instructed Peter that a lying-in or confinement period should be continued for about a month following the birth of Esperanza.Ana had gone through quite a trying ordeal and required plenty of rest.He knew that she was growing restless despite her exhaustion, and he wanted to arrange a diversion for her but doubted how such an idea would be received.As it was, Peter would have to present his idea to Ana after her much-needed nap.
Now, was there not somewhere he was meant to be right about now?Peter pulled a small pocket watch from his waistcoat and scratched his head.He was nearly overdue for his visit with Mr.Smith.How was it that such a small baby could throw off a well-planned schedule so entirely?He strode quickly to the back door and chuckled.
His groom already had Warrior brushed and saddled.Peter swung himself up into the saddle in a practiced, easy movement and snapped the reins.His would have to be a quick journey to the chapel today.
Peter’s journey was so automatic, so well-traveled by now, that he hardly noticed his surroundings.But a shadowed bundle dragged his gaze down to the dusty dirt path.Was it a cloak, forgotten by one of the chapel’s visitors?As he neared, a faint sound pulled painfully at his heart.
“Ayúdeme, Papá...”
Peter leapt from his horse and ran, his stomach sore with panic.“Ana?”She continued to moan but didn’t move.“Amor!” His voice cracked painfully in his throat.
He scooped her into his arms, his panicked tears mingling with her desperate ones.
“Why are you here?And all alone?What were you thinking?”
Her cheek, torso, and hands were dusty, and her eyes were nearly swollen shut from crying.The sight froze his heart.Memories of a bloody and bruised Ana lit by firelight mingled with the sight of the exhausted, defeated Ana before him, and Peter could not still the pounding in his chest.
“Answer me, please,amor.”He felt her face, arms, and legs for injuries.“I need to hear your voice.”
“Papá?” Her voice was childlike and pleading.
“No,querida, it is Peter, your husband.I’m here.”
