It had been the first large event Mother had hosted since she was out of mourning, and she had been talking—and writing—about it ever since it occurred two weeks past.To see hope in his mother’s eyes again buoyed Peter up in a way that was hard to express.For so many years, he had longed to wipe the grief-worn lines from her brow.And even now, he had not been able to do so.But Matthew had.
“I am truly sorry we couldn’t be there, Mother.But as you know, Ana’s condition would not allow us to travel and stay at such a late event.She requires much rest, particularly now.”
However, the true reason for declining the invitation was because Peter had been fearful of who might be there.Would they encounter a fellow soldier who knew Ana?Would someone guess at their plight?He could not risk it.The privacy and seclusion afforded by Abbeygate was a blessing, one that would not last forever.
“Of course, dear, I don’t hold it against you in the slightest.I understand completely why you were unable to attend.But it was a most wonderful night, particularly for Matthew.”
“Matthew—he become betrothed, no?”
“Yes, and to the most wonderful woman,” Mother gushed, placing a hand to her heart.
Peter gripped the back of the stuffed armchair, adjusting it slightly yet again.Of course Matthew would have an ideal betrothal, one that Mother would be proud of.It seemed yet another example proving why Peter was a disappointment.
“She is kind and humble and compassionate, much like yourself, Ana,” Mother continued.“In fact, I believe that the two of you will become dear friends and sisters.That is, once your condition permits that you can meet her.”
Peter’s fumbling with the furniture paused as he slowly raised his eyes to his wife.Theirs had not been a typical betrothal or marriage.Indeed, nothing about their lives would ever be typical or normal.But Mother was clearly able to recognize the unique ability that Ana had to spread love through her eager expressions of affection and fond embraces.A rush of warmth clouded Peter’s chest.Perhaps finding some measure of comfort within his family would not be as impossible as it felt, at least not with Ana at his side.
“And why she not come here with Matthew?”Ana turned to Peter, reaching for his hand.He folded her hand into his eagerly, rubbing his thumb over hers.Her gaze was bright, shining with that same hope that reflected in Mother’s eyes.
“Dear, it is a particularly lovely idea.But with your lying-in soon approaching, I am not certain that making plans to receive visitors for an extended period is the wisest idea.”
“Oh, not now.After thebebéperhaps?After theboda?The wedding?Quizásthat time will be easier for us all.”
“They are to be married in June,” Mother interjected.“The timing of it all would work rather well.”
Peter sighed.He knew that the recovery after the confinement period could be difficult; Mother had told him as much.But if he was completely honest with himself, he was more nervous about the prospect of hosting his brother in his home at such a vulnerable time, particularly when they had not yet had the opportunity to resolve things between them.
“Very well, dear,” Peter said to Ana.“If that is what you wish.”
Chapter 30
June 8, 1814, Abbeygate, Surrey Hills, England
The very day Ana had been born,Mamáhad walked all the way to the square from their home just on the outskirts of town to buy food for the day.When she had nearly arrived home, her waters came rushing, andPapácarried her the rest of the way, which Ana had always thought was terribly romantic.Within only a few hours,Mamáhad her new babe in arms.She always attributed the speed of Ana’s arrival to her long walk in the fresh air, in addition to her brief stop at theCatedralto pray to theVirgen María.
Ana’s current experience could not be more different.Instead of having the luxury of moving about outside to combat the pains heating her back and midsection, she was confined to her room and, most often, her bed.Even the windows were locked shut and the curtains drawn.The accoucheur protested that opening a window could increase the risk of Ana falling ill, but she ironically felt even worse stuffed up in the warm room.It was entirely uncomfortable, particularly the bed that Ana was confined to.It was lightweight and would make it quite easy to change the linens, but it certainly was not as comfortable as Peter’s bed.
In their preparations, they had arranged her adjoining dressing room into somewhat of a gathering room for Peter.There was also a makeshift bed arranged for the monthly nurse.It had all resulted in quite a crowded affair, but Lady Ashmore had insisted these preparations would make her lying-in and recovery much easier.
Lady Ashmore had requested a wet nurse, but Ana had finally strongly insisted that this additional arrangement was entirely unnecessary.She may not experience the lying-in period that had been typical for her own mother, but she would nurse her own child, much like her mother had done and her grandmother before her.
Ana lay flat on her back, breathing slowly and heavily, in an effort to stave off the growing sharpness of the pain surrounding the lower half of her body.Elena pressed a cool cloth against her forehead.
“I need to move.Por favor,” she moaned.“It cannot hurt thebebé.It will help me, no?”
“Married to the son of an earl and she hasn’t bothered to properly learn English.A great shame it is,” the monthly nurse, Nurse Williams, grumbled in the corner, clearly believing that Ana could not understand her.“You simply cannot allow her to leave the bed.Her temper, her passions, could run wild.Your reputation as a physician could very well be put at risk.”
Ana clutched the sheets to keep herself from springing from the bed and running from the room, pains and all.Women like Nurse Williams were not understanding in the least and certainly not forgiving.If Ana lost her temper, she would jump to even more judgmental conclusions and would quickly start blaming Ana’s intelligence or nationality for any issues between them.In this very moment, when Ana’s life—and more importantly, the life of her child—could very well be at risk if even the slightest complications arose, tension and arguments would not help either of them.Ana would simply have to do what she had always done when her wisdom or her character had been questioned by soldiers, foreigners, or evenMamá.She would clench her jaw and bite her tongue to ensure that a word would never escape her lips.
But then another, stronger wave of pain struck Ana.She could not help but moan aloud.Dr.Lee, the short, stocky accoucheur, had beady eyes that were darting between Ana and Nurse Williams while his nervous hand brushed a few spindly hairs over his balding head.
“Mrs.Ashmore, with my assistance, I will allow you to move about the bedroom.”Hope filled Ana’s chest like a full breath of air, such as the type of breath that had evaded her for months now, thanks to the growing body inside her.Now she just needed her husband beside her, to support her physically just as much as emotionally.
“Peter can help me?”
“I am afraid it cannot be permitted.It could be unsafe to allow him inside while you are in such a delicate state.”
That puff of air deflated as quickly as it had come.Dr.Lee held out a hand to Ana, and Nurse Williams reluctantly moved to her side, helping her to rise to a sitting position once the wave of cramping passed.
