“If you wish me to join you, then yes.”Peter smiled, winking at her.Ana’s chest heated, her ribcage suddenly refusing to expand in a deep, regular breath, a lack of motion that had nothing to do with the growing child within her.
Minutes later, Ana was hurrying down the hall as quietly as she could, a perfect destination already set in her mind: the library.She did not know the house as expertly as Peter, but she had spent enough time pacing in the library while he was gone to know which floorboards creaked.She could hide herself in there quietly enough, and she was also certain that her hiding location would provide room enough for two.
Ana crawled underneath the grand wooden desk that sat in the far corner of the room and pulled the stuffed chair closer to her in an effort to disguise her hiding spot.Then she pushed a hand against her heart, willing it to slow as she strained to listen for any sign of Peter finding her.She only waited for four minutes, perhaps five, before she heard the slow creak of the library door.She strained further and could barely distinguish the slow shifting of footsteps before a shadow touched the hem of her gown.
“Your Majesty,” Peter whispered, “I believe I have discovered your hiding place.Would you care if I joined you?”
“Not at all,” Ana whispered, moving to one side underneath the desk.
Now that Peter had found her, Ana realized the silliness of the game.With only the two of them, it was already finished.There was nobody else who would seek them.Why had Peter suggested such a game that would be completed so suddenly, especially with how familiar he was with the estate?
Then the way his knee, his hip, his shoulder pressed against hers as he crawled under the desk revealed what she hoped to be the truth.He had wanted to be close to her.She had wanted the same, had desired a moment of solace, of privacy, and of lightness, after the heaviness he had brought home with him from London.
“This was an excellent hiding spot, Ana.”
“Not very excellent if you find me so quickly.”
“That is because I know you quite well.You love your books and maps.It reminds you of your father, I gather.I thought you might feel safe hiding here in the library.”
Ana touched a hand to her chest, pressing against the sharp pain that jolted there at the mention ofPapá.She blinked away tears at the reminder of darker days laced with loss.Why was it that the feeling of safety was always accompanied by a reminder of the painful devastation of feeling unsafe?No matter how brief the reminder, Ana felt a dip in her spirits.She shook her head against memories that were flashing through her mind, unbidden.Today was to be a happy day, not one for remembering all she had lost.
True, this library reminded her ofPapá.But this library in particular had an entirely different feeling.Ana had spent many hours here during the days that Peter was away in London.Somehow, being in a space that felt like him, almost smelled like him, managed to quell some of her worries.
“I love this library because it reminds me of you,Pedro.”
A long pause lit the air with silence, flammable with unspoken emotion.Ana held her breath, waiting for some kind of indication that her words were not uncalled for.
“Then I would hope that you would feel safe here for the same reason.”
“I do.”
Ana hiccupped, and whether it was a result of her holding her breath or fighting back tears, she could not say.Why must she cry so often since becoming a married woman?Or was it since becoming an expectant mother?Either way, it was quite frustrating indeed.
Peter bent his already doubled-over frame to kiss Ana’s cheek.Just as soon as she started to lean into his touch, he started to move away from under the desk.Ana felt cool air rush in at the absence of his warm body and missed him instantly.
“Qué?”
“I confess I am quite constrained in so small a space,” he said with a laugh.“Would you care to join me out here?We can still sit on the floor, beside the desk, if you wish.”
“Bueno.”
Ana joined Peter, pushing her back up against the wall as she moved herself even closer to him than before.She rested her cheek on his shoulder and laced her fingers through his, telling herself that she desired it only to be comfortable and not because of the surge of butterflies that the closeness gave her.Breathing deeply, her unexpected emotions began to calm.
Ana had quieted significantly since they had snuggled close together.They relaxed that way in cozy silence, neither one eager to move, but she had not continued her usual stream of commentary.Few things stilled her tongue so.
Peter’s tone lilted in a teasing tone.“Your Majesty, I propose that you are hiding more than just your location secreted away here in this library.Now what is the secret you are keeping from me?”
“Qué?” Ana’s stomach dropped in an instant.She squeezed her hands in her skirts as her heart sped up in a wild, anxious pattern.
Her forehead creased in genuine concern.“I promise,Pedro, I have no secrets from you.”Her bottom lip trembled.
What secret could he possibly be thinking of?
Of course, the origin of her condition was a secret they alone would share till their graves.But Peter had never jested about such things.He would never say anything to make her feel guilty or uncomfortable in the slightest, having witnessed the terrible circumstances she had endured.Surely he could not be referencing that.At present, it seemed that Ana’s very existence was a secret.He had implied that if some of his leaders knew of her condition, they might try to call her in to testify about San Sebastián, or worse, they might try to hide her further.But it was very well understood between the two of them that Peter wanted her to feel as if she had a normal life here.He would not be teasing her about such things.
Secret-keeping had always been a pain-filled point in Ana’s life.She had been entirely too young and tender when the burden of a large, life-altering secret had been placed upon her.The evening beforePapáwas scheduled to return from his responsibilities, Ana caught a glimpse ofMamápacking a valise.Although Ana had understood that she would be leaving, it had not crossed her mind that she would be leaving permanently, especially whenMamáhad kissed her the following morning, telling her she was going to visit a cousin in the south for a time.Why else would she leave her closets full of dresses and her home full of possessions if she did not mean to return?
And why else would she leave Ana?
