Peter remembered the weight that had lifted off his shoulders when he began telling Ana of his troubled thoughts and was almost persuaded to reveal the truth to Mother.But then memories of blood-streaked dresses and ale-stained uniforms flashed through his mind, and he could not speak of it.The pain was still too great.He rolled his shoulders and shook his head, as if that could dispel the visions that plagued him.
“I see that it would not be helpful after all.No matter—we can talk about something else.Tell me more about Ana.How is she faring?Is she enjoying Abbeygate?It is such a peaceful place.I always greatly enjoyed our summers there.”
“She is settling in well, thank you.Although she is certainly implementing some traditions of her own in the household,” Peter said with a chuckle.
“And I would expect her to do as much.”
Mother’s word snapped in half a cord of tension that Peter had not even realized he had been holding on to.All this time, he had been so concerned that they were not conducting their household in a way that would be expected of the family of an earl.But clearly Mother was more concerned about Ana’s happiness, as was Peter.He slumped in his chair, relieved.
“It is quite amusing, after being so caught up in the army for all these years, to suddenly find myself completely consumed with Ana’s well-being.And now that I’m away, I am constantly thinking of her, wondering how she is sleeping, hoping that she is eating sufficiently, praying that she remembers enough English to communicate well...”
“You care a great deal for her.”
“And why shouldn’t I?It is my duty to ensure that she is comfortable, well cared for.She has endured so much...”Too much.
“I was referring to a more sentimental sort of caring,” Mother said with a slight smile.She reached across Peter’s rigidly folded arms and squeezed his hand.
“Of course,” Peter managed.He had spilled enough secrets for one day.He would certainly not admit to harboring any sort of great sentimentality for his wife, beyond what was expected, of course.He felt like he was young again and had been found out during one of his mischievous ventures with Matthew.Mother’s brows arched higher on her forehead.
“You mentioned you’re concerned about Ana’s sleeping and eating.Is something amiss?Is she still feeling ill as she was on your wedding day?”she pressed.Then understanding dawned on her visibly, as her eyes widened and her mouth curved into the shape of an O.
Mother knew.She knew about Ana’s condition.And now she knew the timing of it all.
Peter felt his stomach drop violently.It had been years since he had lived with Mother.Did she really know him well enough to believe that he would never harm Ana?That he would never even imagine touching her against her will?Devastating memories, too often shoved from his mind, rose to the surface.Ana, bleeding, limping, crying.Ana, locked in the dark of her boat cabin, insistent that she could not bear the sight of the other soldiers on board.Ana, shaking with sobs when she realized she was increasing.Acute pain and anger fogged his mind and muddled his speech.“She is not...it is not what you think...”Peter stuttered, placing his head in his hands as misplaced fear and shame overwhelmed him.“I have done nothing wrong.”
“I would never presume that you had done so,” she replied with a reassuring tone.“I am sure you have always behaved honorably toward your Ana.But are you suggesting that she is with child, and has been for quite some time?”
Chapter 16
December 29, 1813, London, England
Peter had endured another long day of meetings only to see that the army was getting nowhere with the issue of San Sebastián.Nothing could be more frustrating than that.The sun was already setting outside the tall, stone building, and the paned windows no longer provided sufficient light to the room, signaling to Peter that it was high time he left.He shrugged on his knapsack and set out through the door, his legs marching in quick, learned steps.He would have made a fine pace to his conveyance to return to Heathridge Hall if he hadn’t collided with a shrouded figure standing just beyond the corner of the building.
“I apologize, my good sir,” Peter said.
“Apology accepted, Cap’n, and I don’t mind at all being called sir.”
London was a crowded place.It was not a difficult thing to run into someone.But that voice.Peter stepped back, blinking rapidly as if it would somehow help him to recognize the man in front of him more quickly.
Price.One of the men of his company.He was a young one, barely eighteen, and had been recruited off the streets of London, like so many other foot soldiers.But what was he doing back here?And why was his presence sending Peter positively reeling?While in his role as Captain Ashmore, Peter was not one to get overly emotional, at least not about anyone other than Ana.And he certainly never showed any level of sentimentality to his men.Loyalty, yes.Consistency, yes.But not emotional softness.And yet for some strange reason, his chest tightened upon seeing Price, and he suddenly found himself breathing much more quickly than he had been a moment previous.He very nearly embraced the man, only to be snapped back into reality by Price’s stoic salute.Even in a worn, faded brown shirt and thick work pants, the young man looked a soldier.
“Price!I can’t say that I understand how you’ve come to be here, but I am more relieved to see you than I can say.”
“Charley, Cap’n, call me Charley.We ain’t riding to battle, so I do prefer to be called Charley.”
“Very well, then, Charley.”
“And I am mighty pleased meeself to be seeing you, Cap’n.”
Peter had more questions than he had words for.It was the first time he had seen any of his men following the sack.“Come, I have a conveyance waiting just down this alley.I wish to speak with you in confidence.”
“A conveyance, eh?Cap’n, I never pinned you as one of them high-brow gentlefolk.”
“I wouldn’t call myself gentle, and I certainly doubt my wife would call me high-browed.”
“You went and got yerself a wife now, did you?I’ll be.The men won’t believe it when I tell ’em.”
Peter felt his neck grow hot as he walked up to the conveyance and motioned that Charley join him inside.Price—like most, if not all, of Peter’s men—would have been well familiar with Ana, then known as Miss Bailon.Many of them had noted Peter’s strange awkwardness around her graceful communication and stunning beauty and had frequently made him the brunt of their jokes.If Charley ever saw Ana, particularly in her current condition, a great many secrets would be revealed, putting them both in danger.
