Still, it was difficult to stay quiet.Surely Peter could see the emotions painting her face, threatening to overwhelm her.Unlike him, and many other people in England for that matter, she could not hide how she was feeling.It was not how she had been raised.Perhaps that was also why so many deemed her overly excitable or uncontrollable, even hysterical.Ana preferred “passionate.”She was not afraid to feel, and she felt everything intensely.
Finally, the vicar pronounced words she could understand most clearly: “husband and wife.”She looked expectantly at her now-husband, who seemed to be momentarily frozen.Ana stepped toward him, pulling slightly at his hand, not wanting to seem too forward but even more fearful of appearing cold and unfeeling.As if emerging from a heavy night’s sleep, he blinked a few times and his tongue edged his lips, revealing the depth of his nervousness.She needed to kiss him, andnow, even though the thought of kissing anyone made her stomach turn.
In a quick motion, Ana rose to her toes, puckered her lips, squeezed her eyes shut, and met his lips for a brief moment.She would not let her mind stray to the memory of another man pinning his rough, alcohol-saturated mouth against hers.Ana peeked one eye open and breathed readily again.Yes, it was Peter she had kissed—Peter she had married.She was safe here so long as she was with him.Meeting his gaze and mirroring his crooked, nervous smile, Ana walked back down the aisle as his family cheered modestly.
After a short, stunned-silent carriage ride back to Heathridge Hall, the Ashmores’ estate, Ana was led into the breakfast room, its tall windows and intricate paneling reminding her that she was no longer in her belovedEspaña.Everything seemed unnecessarily ornate, although that much could be expected at an earl’s estate.On the table, an elaborate wedding breakfast was on display, as detailed as an oil painting.From the chilled butter to the golden breads to the jeweled jellies, everything was vibrantly and delicately arranged.But it did not instill any sort of hunger in Ana.
The bumpy carriage ride had only intensified Ana’s nausea.She had planned to dash for the water closet upon her arrival, but in the company of others, such a move would be most unseemly, not to mention suspicious.Now she would have to push through the discomfort of her upset stomach while playing the part of the blissful bride.
Somehow Lady Ashmore, now her mother-in-law, had arrived ahead of them.“We are so very pleased to welcome you to the family, dear,” Lady Ashmore said, her voice all velvet and warmth.
“Thank you, my lady,” Ana said.She pressed her lips together as her stomach roiled and her heart pounded.Ana desperately wanted the approval of this woman.She would give anything to have the advice and warmth of a mother in her present circumstances.“And thank you much for this dress.Muybeautiful,” she added.
“Not at all, my dear.I daresay it complements you much more than it ever would me.”
Ana blushed.The dowager was stunning.She had maintained every bit of poise and grace from her younger years, and surely many men still thought her quite beautiful.
Ana watched as Peter’s brother, Matthew, the current Lord Ashmore, stepped up to the pair, giving Peter a somewhat hesitant embrace.She eased herself down into an overly cushioned chair and pressed a hand to her uneasy stomach.She had heard much of Matthew during their weeks crossing the sea, and Peter’s feelings regarding his brother were quite complicated.From what she could understand, they had been the best of friends as children, but complexities in their family drove them apart as they grew older, particularly when Peter chose to join the army.The tense history between the two was evident as a muscle pulsed on Peter’s jaw and he blinked rapidly as his brother released him from his grip.
The family resemblances were obvious as Ana looked at both men.Peter’s frame was a great deal broader than Matthew’s, despite the lack of nutrition that the war could often bring to its soldiers.Matthew’s hair was a touch lighter than Peter’s and much wavier.Dimples dotted his cheeks, and his green eyes seemed much more carefree than his brother’s blue ones, even given the awkwardness of their meeting after so many years.The wide, genuine smile that lit up Matthew’s face when attending to his mother made Ana ache to see similar happiness on Peter’s face.Lord Ashmore was clearly without many of the scars, physical and otherwise, that Peter bore.
“The ceremony was a tad bit long,” Matthew joked to his mother.“However, this impressive wedding breakfast should make up for it.”He rubbed his hands together in mock anticipation.Ana could sense he was trying to put them all at ease through his good-naturedness.But why didn’t it dispel the sadness in her husband’s eyes?
“Matthew, darling, don’t be silly,” Lady Ashmore said, concern puckering her brow as her eyes darted to Ana’s.“It was an entirely conventional ceremony.It has simply been a few years since you’ve attended a wedding.”
“I suppose I will believe you, Mother, although I nearly fell asleep in the pews,” Matthew said with a smile as he bent down to kiss his mother’s cheek.
“Clearly you have never been a bridegroom, as it is anything but sleep-inducing,” Peter muttered, nervous hands straightening his cravat, but then he looked at his brother and his voice lightened, attempting a jest.“I never imagined I would be a bridegroom before the desirable Earl Ashmore.”
“You wound me, brother!”Matthew exclaimed.
The brothers chuckled at that, and some of the awkwardness that bound Peter seemed to ease away.The ache of longing Ana felt only pounded deeper into her heart.When was the last time she had heard Peter laugh?Not since before San Sebastián.
Lady Ashmore rolled her eyes, but her smile remained.It was clear enough to Ana María that she was delighted to see her sons together again.It had been years, as far as she was aware.
“Peter, do assist your wife in filling a plate.Please be generous in your portions, as there is much to share,” Lady Ashmore said before turning to greet the few other relations in attendance.
“Yes, my lady,” Peter said, snapping his heels together and nodding a salute to his mother.
Ana María joined Peter at the sideboard.Scents of butter and cinnamon perfumed the air as she approached the food.But one small whiff of the fired fish at the center of it all made her grip the table—and her stomach—more tightly.
“Is there anything here that you believe will maintain its place in your stomach?”Peter asked, his voice quiet and careful.
“A bread?And a boiled egg,por favor.”Simple foods would have to do.Any flavor or smell too strong would send Ana María running to the water closet.She averted her eyes as Peter repeated her requests to the servant standing by, waiting with an empty plate.
Despite the sickness roiling in her stomach, Ana María had to admit the spread looked impressive.Hot rolls, sweet lemon cakes, sliced ham, boiled eggs, and fresh fruit were piled high.But she would eat carefully, if at all.She did not wish to spend the rest of the day bent over a basin, casting up her accounts.
“Truly, you must give my compliments to the kitchens, Mother.This is an astounding collection, particularly after all the dry meat and potatoes I’ve faced over the past years,” Peter said as he pulled out a chair for Ana next to his mother before sitting down as well.
“Indeed, darling,” Lady Ashmore replied.“This fine array looks almost as beautiful and appealing as your new wife.Almost.”She smiled knowingly.
At the words, both Peter and Ana María’s faces flamed.
“When will you leave for your wedding trip?”Matthew asked.
“We’ve had our fill of traveling as of late,” Peter said, his fists balling beneath the table.Ana pried at his fingers, trying to calm him, but was unsuccessful in calming herself.At the thought of the rocking boat, Ana felt a burning rising in her throat.She pinned her lips together even more tightly and clenched her hands in her skirts.The strong smell of the fish seemed to overtake the entire room.
“Then where will you be staying tonight?”Lady Ashmore questioned.
