“¡Hola, mis amigos! I am Captain Julio, and I am so, so happy to welcome you aboardEl ArcoExplorer! ¡Bienvenidos! ¿Cómo estántoday? Are we all ready to have some fun?”
Our crowd offers a half-hearted cheer, so Captain Julio cups a hand to his ear. “¿Qué pasó? I can’t hear you! Are we ready to have some fun or what?”
“Yeah…” A few people clap.
“You betcha!” Luna pumps a fist in the air.
“Mucho mejor!” he declares, beaming and proud.
It’s awkward. Excruciatingly so. But beside me, Beckett lets out a loud whistle and my two boys are giggling.
What did I do to deserve this?
“This is an all-inclusive excursion, amigos. Beer for you?” He tosses a can of something I don’t recognize across to Rocky, and another to Simon, and then Noah. “We also have margaritas, of course! No one will judge here, eh? Not in Margaritaville.”
He pauses for laughter, and when it doesn’t come fast enough, he supplies his own. “Ha! That one usually kills!”
“Now, before we sail, I must know—who is it that is getting married this week? Who is my lucky couple?”
Luna, radiant as ever in her floppy sunhat, takes Noah’s arm with one hand and raises the other. “We are!”
“Ahhh,la novia!” he exclaims, clutching his chest dramatically. “Beautiful bride! What’re you marrying this guy for, eh?” He points at Noah, then winks outrageously. “Not such a pretty lady as you. You want someone important, like the captain of a ship, no?” He winks.
This time, everyone around bursts into laughter. Luna laughs. Noah laughs. Even my mother laughs.
I do not.
Captain Julio keeps going, undeterred. “I take you to the arches. Lovers Beach. Just you and me and sunshine and tequila.”
Luna covers her mouth, giggling. “Tempting!”
He slaps his knee, delighted. “But we no end up on the other side of the arch—Divorce Beach. Too much danger. If you go in, no one will save you.”
At that word, my gaze snaps to Beckett.
Just for a second, the deck seems to tilt, and I tighten my grip on the railing until the world steadies again.
Wrong side of the arch, my brain supplies, unhelpfully.
Captain Julio barrels on, oblivious. “But we not talk about that today. Not until after magical honeymoon!”
Noah playfully pulls Luna close. “Not in this lifetime, Julio,” he says.
And of course, the only person not laughing—is still me.
“Then I am to be broken-hearted.” Though obviously not too broken-hearted as he’s already eyeing Tay and Courtney. “But I recover quickly,” he adds, toggling his brows. “So don’t feel sad for me. Everyone smile! Smile! Smile!” He sweeps his arm toward two teenage boys in matching polos and reflective sunglasses. “Our paparazzi crew will be around to make you famous! Beautiful people! Movie stars! They are here for you!!”
Those boys are crouching low, cameras ready, as if they really are paparazzi.
I already can see these photos printed on cheap keychains and sold back to us for thirty dollars apiece.
“Below deck, we have our culinary experience!” Captain Fast-Talker barrels on. “Fresh tacos, fresh chips, fresh… uh… something! You hungry? Jalapeno guacamole for the brave! Good! Go down the first stairs! And below that—” he drops his voice dramatically “—below-belowdeck, is our submarine experience. ‘Cause we all live in a yellow submarine! Ha ha! See fish! See bubbles! Maybe see your reflection in the glass—who knows?”
He laughs again.
“Where did you find this guy?” Beckett says into my ear.
“I didn’t,” I grumble back.
