“These are coming off,” he stated as she struggled wildly. “I’m a firm believer that a good licking should be administered on a bare bottom.”
“No, Horace, please,” she pleaded frantically. “I’ll be good. I promise.”
“It’s a little too late for apologies, my girl. You’ve been sassing and tormenting me for weeks. I’ve had my fill of your antics. Do you think I’m not aware of what you’re doing? I see how you tease the men whenever I’m around? You’ve been begging for a reaction out of me for a long time, and now you’re going to get it. When I’m done here, you will have no doubt about my intentions regarding you.”
“Stop, you don’t have to do this,” she cried.
“I’m the only one who can,” he replied, almost sadly.
For a moment Janedigested his words, confused why he should say such a thing, but when his hand pulled down her thin drawers, all such thoughts left her mind.
It shocked her when his hand stroked her soft, exposed flanks. Hearing the ragged breath escape his lips, she realized it matched her own. Slowly his hand traveled over her and she waited for the humiliation to come, but it never did. All she felt was a bit of shame.
In a flash of self-awareness, she realized everything he’d said was true. She had been seeking a reaction from him, a sign that he truly cared for her. She wanted his admiration, for she admired him. His life had purpose. He made a difference, while she had no idea where she was going or what sort of life she was destined for.
For the short time she’d helped him in his office, she’d felt needed. Then he’d cut her off, accusing her of being childish. That was the way he saw her. Now she wondered if that was his fault or hers.
“You should be the one getting a spanking,” she blurted out breathlessly.
Instantly, she felt astonished at her own words. His body hardened, then he laughed.
“How so? What have I done to earn such recrimination?” he asked curiously. His hand stayed from smacking her bottom.
“I could have been yours,” she whispered. “I know I’m young and childlike at times, but I would have learned. I could have been an asset to you, but you turned me away. Now I see why.”
“Explain that remark,” he ordered.
“You wanted me,” she replied, turning her head to look at him over her shoulder and watching his face pale. “Oh, I know you didn’t want to, but you did just the same, so you pushed me away. Now look at us. Two fools fighting the very thing that might bring us happiness,” she sobbed.
“Jane…” Flipping her in his arms, he held her on his lap and looked into her eyes.
“I’m in love with you, Horace Brubaker. I have been from the beginning, and I tried to show you I was worthy. You refused to see it, preferring to treat me like a little girl.”
“You are a little girl,” he answered softly, “and that’s one of the things I love best about you, damn my soul to hell.”
“I don’t understand. Explain that to me,” she pleaded tearfully.
Horace sighed deeply, cupped her face in his hands, and brushed the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs.
CHAPTER 6
“Icould have married many times, Jane. When I first came west, women were near beating down my door. Single women, widows, mama’s trying to snare a physician for their daughters. They brought me meals, invited me to parties, socials, and dinners.
“To be honest, it got very tiring, for there was not one single woman that appealed to me. I began to wonder what was wrong with me and resigned myself to eventually becoming a crusty old bachelor. Then you came along, a beautiful woman/child, one who attracted me like no other. It mortified me when I finally discovered the true cause of my difficulty,” he admitted shamefully.
“I still don’t understand. Go on,” she encouraged.
“It was your very innocence that both appalled me and drew me in,” he confessed. “I found that treating you like my own little girl was intoxicating. The longing to be essential to your happiness and well-being was overpowering. I needed to be more than a husband to the woman I married. I wanted to be her lover, her father, her disciplinarian, her teacher. More than anything, I craved a woman I could be everything to, make love to her, care for her, baby her, and punish her when she was naughty. That desire was overpowering. I can never ask a woman to give me that freedom, especially one as young and beautiful as you. You have no idea how demanding I would be, how closely I would want to supervise every aspect of your life.”
“Horace…”
“Hush, there’s more. When I saw you in that revealing saloon dress, I wanted to bring you here, tear it off you and spank you silly for being such a naughty girl. Then when you were here helping me care for patients, I knew you could never be completely submissive to me. You had a mind of your own, a streak in you that demanded you have your own way and required a certain amount of independence. It would never have worked between us, my dear, so I promised I would stay away from you.”
“Yet you didn’t,” she pointed out.
“I couldn’t,” he admitted. “When I was busy, I did all right, I thought. However, on nights when I sat here alone, I would wonder and worry endlessly. What was happening at The Duchess? Were you safe? Was anyone bothering you? After the night Mead was shot and those men tried to take you, it got worse, much worse. Then when Lily planned to have you and the other girls kidnapped, something inside me snapped. I began to think it would be better to have you, even if we could not be completely happy. Even if we never lived the life I wanted. At least then I could keep you safe.”
“Oh Doc, you should have told me all of this long ago,” Jane sighed, reaching to touch his stubbled chin.
