However, Effie couldn’t deny that as the morning rolled slowly on, the lack of Jake’s presence was tying her stomach into knots, and not the good kind. What if he regretted kissing her? She’d chosen to ignore the red flags he’d unfurled for her. What if last night meant nothing to him and right now he was sitting in his flat chewing over how to let her down? After all, she was quite clearly hoping to stay in Polcarrow whilst he was gazing wistfully over the horizon, his wanderlust not quite fully sated.
Effie reached for her phone, pulled open the messaging app and hovered over Jake’s name. It was only half past ten, she realised, she couldn’t text him and ask him where he was. She had to remain cool. Right, she smoothed down her dungarees, she needed a task to take her mind off Jake’s kiss and subsequent absence.
There’d been a new delivery of greetings cards the previous morning, so Effie brought the box out from the small storeroom and set it on the counter. They were mostly pastel watercolours of a stylised Cornish coast, but Effie found them charming and knew the customers would love them. She was busy pricing them up when the shop door opened. Glancing up Effie saw Jake standing in the doorway, a nervous look on his face, a package in his hand.
Effie swallowed. She’d known all along Jake was attractive but when had the real feelings started to grow? Was it with every stroke of the paintbrush that brought the shop to life, waking her up from her internal slumber as well? Her mind raced through every moment they had shared: Alf’s party, the reassurance he lent her allowing her to slowly dismantle some of the barriers she’d kept herself safe with? The hero moment when he’d rushed out of the shop on opening day to rescue Christie? All those post-swim hot chocolates? Jake had woven himself into her life without her fully realising. She liked him, really liked him. But she didn’t like the grave look on his face.
‘Hi,’ she managed as she nervously shuffled the birthday cards.
‘Hi.’ Jake’s voice was equally awkward. ‘I missed your swim.’
Effie nodded. ‘The hot chocolate wasn’t quite the same.’
‘I’ll make it up to you,’ he said but there was something stilted in his voice.
Awkward silence fell like a shroud between them. Effie placed some of the cards in the holder on the counter whilst Jake watched her, keeping close to the door, his jacket zipped up as if he wasn’t staying.
‘Jake, are you OK? Are we OK?’ she asked, her heart pounding. Were they a ‘we’?
His brow furrowed. ‘What do you mean?’ He took a few more steps into the shop.
Effie studied him. ‘You’re being a bit weird. Like distant.’
‘I was worried about seeing you after last night.’
‘Why?’ Effie asked, her whole body freezing with dread.
Jake squirmed. ‘Oh God, Effie, don’t. I wanted to kiss you for so long but now I don’t think it’s what I should have done.’ His eyes met hers gravely.
‘Jake, what is it?’
Jake’s eyes darted nervously around the shop, trying to look everywhere other than at her. ‘Can you take a few minutes? I don’t want to do this in here.’
Effie swallowed. ‘Sure.’ She pulled her cardigan on, one of her favourites, green with little ducks on it, grabbed her keys and followed Jake outside into the fresh spring morning. She followed him across the road to the harbour wall, but he didn’t stop, just kept walking away from the village. Effie had to quicken her pace to keep up with him.
Jake stopped at the far end of the beach, just before the path that rose up to the headland. Effie recalled the walk they’d taken over the coast path the previous week. All cider-induced giggles as they exchanged pieces of their lives like tokens. Now, as Effie looked at Jake where he sat on the bench, her stomach sank. She suspected they wouldn’t be sharing much more.
‘Effie, please sit, I can’t do this with you looming over me like that.’
Although she had half a mind to keep making him feel uncomfortable, she didn’t want him to see her reactions to whatever he was going to tell her. The awkwardness, the distance, everything about him told her it was going to be bad news.
‘I really like you, Effie, I do. I meant it when I said that I’m attracted to you, and I’ve enjoyed helping you with the shop,’ he started, picking over his words as he traversed the emotional minefield he was clearly trying not to detonate. He risked a glance at her. ‘Oh God, this is such a mess.’
Effie remained silent, waiting for him to dig himself out of the hole and unwilling to lend him a helping hand.
‘I told you at Easter that Tara and I are on a break. I never lied about that. I never lied to you about how hard I found all the travelling and influencer stuff in the end. You’re an amazing woman, Effie, but I loved Tara, we had a future planned out. She’s, well, she’s been in touch this morning and wants to talk.’
‘I see,’ was all Effie could manage as her mind unravelled everything she had shared with Jake over the past few weeks.
‘Eff, I didn’t mean to hurt you or lead you on or anything like that. I meant it, I really like you, I’m attracted to you, but I’m not sure if I’m over Tara yet, or if I’m even ready for a relationship. I really need to speak to her, try and sort things out for good this time. I should never have kissed you last night, but I just, well, I just couldn’t resist, and I’d been wanting to kiss you for such a long time.’
Effie turned to him, taking in the tortured expression on his face, which matched the way she felt inside.
‘I thought you were cute and fiery, and I only meant to offer you a hand at the beginning but the more time I spent with you, the more I enjoyed your company. Everything I said about you being unlike the other girls I’ve met was true. Ugh, this is so hard for me, I don’t know what to do, but I do know I shouldn’t have kissed you last night and that I can’t lead you on any longer.’
Silence settled in the space between them, filling it up, pushing open the cracks that had started to form.
‘Oh God, Effie, please say something.’ He rubbed his face in despair.
