‘Another firecracker in the making,’ he replied, nodding to me. ‘But Luci’s not a burden, any more than you are,’ he continued, with a sideways glance at me as we showed our passes at the gate and left my suitcase in one of the luggage lockers. ‘To any of us, least of all Jesse.’
I felt myself tense all over, suddenly glad to hide under my hat. I wished he could be right.
‘Thanks,’ I said simply, eyes on the gaggle of people ahead. Competitors with numbers on their backs, bull and bronc riders surrounded by rodeo officials, and a sprinkling of women, conspicuous in their tiny skirts in a sea of leather chaps.
Among them, I realized with a start, was Chrissy – Jesse’s ex from the diner. In full glam she was radiant, a fitted denim minidress and pale straw cowboy hat, cream-coloured boots and a cascade of pale blonde hair.
Cole caught my gaze as I forced myself to look away, Rosie’s words about shiny objects ringing loudly in my ears.
‘You met Jesse’s sister, Clara, right? She’s watching today,’ he said, his voice soft, as though he’d guessed my thoughts. ‘He wanted to let you know. Up in that stand there, to the right of the chute.’
It was where I’d sat previously, in those fear-laced moments right before . . . the other moments. In the truck afterwards.
‘Okay,’ I croaked, feeling that same anxiety wind itself around me again.
‘He’ll be fine,’ Cole reassured me. ‘And if I don’t see you before you go, look after yourself, you hear?’
I nodded as he pulled me in a gentle hug, utterly subsuming me within his vast reach.
‘Cole?’ I asked, stepping back to look up, almost stalling at the kindness in his warm eyes. ‘If . . . if there was going to be a, um . . . special moment coming up, would there be a specific time to come back and visit?’
A laugh rumbled in his throat as he smiled.
‘I’m not a hundred per cent sure . . . maybe sometime around Thanksgiving or Christmas,’ he said, shrugging. ‘I’ll message you. But are you sure you won’t be back before then? Is there no chance?’
‘Honestly . . . I don’t know.’
He nodded, his smile fading to concern at my expression.
‘I’ll miss you, Hestia. We all will.’
I nodded. I was reaching my limit, the internal floodgates only just holding back. Smiling as I turned, especially when he touched the brim of his hat to me, I headed up the stairs just as the bull riding was announced.
‘Hestia! Over here!’ Clara waved, a spare beer in one hand.
I picked my way over, receiving a hug as I arrived.
‘So I hear you’re leaving us, huh?’ she said after the initial greetings, her curiosity clearly too great not to get straight into it.
I explained about the business, the whole situation with Cal.
She rolled her eyes at that.
‘Men are fucking useless sometimes, huh?’ she replied, shaking her head. ‘I mean, not all of them, but I always think things are best left to women to manage, if you actually want to get it done . . . You’re coming back though, right? We’re throwing a big party for Mom next month, it’s her goddamn sixtieth, can you believe it? She’s asked if you’d come.’
‘I want to,’ I said, pausing as the announcer read out Jesse’s name. My stomach churned and I clutched the beer bottle. ‘But I don’t know if I can.’
Her face changed, as though she’d suddenly understood something, a frown appearing.
‘Oh . . . shit. Does Jesse know that?’ she asked, my own face giving it away before I had a chance to answer. ‘Well. Fuck.’
‘I need to speak to him,’ I said, trying not to flinch as the gate opened to the first bull rider, the crowd roaring.
She nodded, watching with me as the bull flung him off in under eight seconds, making a dash for the fence and away from the flailing hooves.
‘Do you guys have a few more days at least? Maybe make some plans?’ she asked, leaning back, looking over towards the chute. I knew she was looking for him – so I stared dead ahead, watching the wranglers get the bull under control and back in the pen.
‘My flight is in a few hours,’ I murmured, catching her surprise in the corner of my eye.
