I held my breath, the lump in my throat building. There was nothing else to say, every other explanation fading to nothing.
‘I care about you,’ I whispered, watching as his eyes softened. ‘I care . . . too much. I don’t know how . . . or what to do—’
But before I could finish, he took my face in his hands, tilting it up, our lips agonizingly close.
‘I care about you too,’ he murmured, stroking his thumb against my jaw as I struggled to take it in. ‘More than you know. And if you’ll let me, I want to figure this out.’ He paused, studying my reaction. ‘But Jessica, honey, you have to let me in.’
Desperate to say the words I really felt in return, feeling them churn over and over in my mind, I did the only thing I knew how.
Slowly, gently, I brought my lips to his.
The response was instant, a lit fuse sparking into a chain reaction between our bodies. A release: days of barely touching each other falling away and taking us back to the moments after our last night together.
‘Take me home,’ I whispered, shuddering as his hand brushed the bare skin on my back.
‘I need you to understand how much I want there to be anus,’ he insisted, his breathing ragged. ‘This isn’t just sex for me, not now.’
‘You don’t know what you’re letting yourself in for,’ I whispered, searching his eyes, wanting him to understand how difficult it would be. ‘I’ve never . . . I feel more for you than I ever have, but –’
‘Let me find out for myself,’ he returned, stroking my hair. ‘I’m not gonna run away if things get complicated.’
And even though I knew it was wrong, that I was giving in to my own selfish desire, I moved back into him. He wrapped himself around me in response as I gripped him back, unwilling to let go, for now.
CHAPTER15
HESTIA
‘You really do look like her,’ Jesse mused, propping his head on his hand as he lay next to me. His hair was mussed from last night, the soft morning light turning it a deep, burnished gold.
I raised an eyebrow, wondering for one horrific moment if he was about to name an ex.
‘Jessica Rabbit,’ he replied, melting into a smile as I did, my arm bent under my head on the pillow. Glancing down to the end of the bed, I could see the red satin pooled on the floor beyond, right where he’d slipped the straps off my shoulders.
We were here again, in our safe space between reality and the depths inside both of us.
‘I didn’t get a chance to tell you how good you looked in that suit,’ I murmured, reaching out to run my finger over his broad shoulder, following the hard grooves of the muscle down his arm. ‘I was trying so hard to hold it together that I didn’t say.’
‘Honey, I know it’s your style to show, not tell,’ he said, a sly smile emerging across his lips as he leant down towards me. ‘And knowing what I do now, I’m even more in awe of you.’
Confused, I moved my finger to his lips as he brought himself in to kiss me.
‘What do you mean?’ I asked, barely able to hold off the urge to let the fire take over again, but too curious not to know.
‘That you went ahead and came to the wedding, even though it hurt; that you went through hell in your past.’ He kissed my finger. ‘That’s no small thing. I know you think your demons are bigger than you, but I see you in there, fighting. And I’m fucking rooting for you, honey.’
I felt his words seep in, heard them repeat in my mind as he finally closed the gap between us, his mouth finding mine for a moment. Once again, as though my tears were wired to his voice, the familiar prickle behind my eyelids began.
‘I don’t know what I did to deserve finding you,’ I whispered as we drew back, lips still touching.
‘Well, you did, Jessica. And I’m right here, always. You don’t have to be alone.’
I looked down, not brave enough to share just how much of a nerve that’d hit. I found his hand instead, the touch of his skin an instant relief as he twined his fingers with mine.
‘Now I’ve got a suggestion,’ he said, a more playful tone taking over. ‘Given we’ve got the whole day off, and despite having slept with you . . .’ I looked back at him as he paused, apparently trying to count. ‘Damn, I actually can’t remember how many times,’ he admitted, his sheepish smile somehow drawing my own smile in return. ‘Anyway – what I mean to say is, I’ve never even made you breakfast. But given my pretty basic kitchen skills, and the fact that I want it to just be you and me right now, why don’t we head on out into town?’
Within the hour, we were parked up outside Molly’s Diner. Jesse took my hand as I stepped onto the pavement with him. Town was busy already: locals and tourists wandering around, the beginnings of a queue at the diner door.
‘This okay?’ he asked as my fingers tightened around his.
