‘Yeah,’ he agreed after a moment. ‘I know the feeling.’
I paused, sensing that he was opening a door to me, just enough to let me glimpse the room beyond.
‘So, is it just your mum and sisters we’re seeing today?’ I asked gently.
‘Yep,’ he replied, seemingly gathering himself together. ‘There’s Mom – Jean – and my big sisters, Clara and Belle. It’s just been us since . . . well, ever since I can remember, anyway.’
His meaning was clear, the silence between the words thick with it. He hadn’t even had a chance to find out if his dad was an asshole; his absence made it the default.
‘Anything I need to worry about?’ I asked, shrugging at his half-smile response. ‘What? You’re their baby brother.’
‘You? Nah,’ he shook his head. ‘I’ve got a feeling it’ll be me in the firing line.’
Less than an hour into the visit, I realized he was right.
His mom lived on the top floor of a low-rise condo block on the edge of town, a big, airy apartment with a view of the Tetons in the distance, beyond the town. After the initial greetings, we got settled on the generous balcony at the back, and I was struck by the similarities in the four of them. The same dark, sandy-coloured hair, a shared sense of relaxed confidence – even the same smiles. Jean was tiny in comparison to Jesse’s 6’ 2”, tucking into his side as he pulled her into a hug, her neck craning right back as she beamed at him.
‘Well now,’ she finally exclaimed, reaching out to pat my arm from her chair. ‘My boy wasn’t wrong. You make quite the cowgirl – and yep, I think I agree with him – you’re just about the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen too, notwithstanding my own girls, of course.’
‘I am?’ I asked, glancing over at him, positioned furthest away in the corner, two seats left empty for his sisters, both prepping lunch in the kitchen. He sat with his ankle resting on his knee, leaning on the arm of his chair, a careful smile almost hidden in the shade under his hat.
Jean laughed.
‘Oh, he’s being all coy now,’ she replied.
‘Not like you at all,’ Clara interjected, stepping outside and shielding her eyes from the sun. She was the taller of the sisters, and the initial vibe I’d got from her – maybe a little more reserved than Belle? – was now counteracted by the devilish smile she flashed in my direction. ‘In fact, I can’t remember the last time Jesse ever brought a girl to meet us. Can you, Bells?’
Before I could interject, as Belle followed her sister, she turned to me and gave a small, knowing wink.
‘Nope,’ she agreed. ‘Although we did spot the last buckle bunny from a distance . . .’
I clamped my mouth shut, struggling not to join in as the three women dissolved into giggles. Jesse rolled his eyes.
‘All right, all right, I knew that was coming,’ he drawled, leaning back against his chair and taking off his hat, running a hand through his hair. His smile was soft, as though watching their amusement at his expense was all worth it.
‘We’re only messin’,’ Jean said to me. ‘We know y’all are just friends. Besides, I need to hear more about what you do. Jesse said you’re a tattoo artist and did some of your own, that right? I’ve got a few, but none as good as yours.’
They listened as I explained my business, how it all started. They were curious and without judgement, genuinely interested in the process and leaning in for a closer look when I showed them my first ink, the compass on my wrist.
Jesse just watched in silence, taking it all in, but his eyes were fixed on me. Even when I looked back at him for a moment, he didn’t flinch away. There was an intensity to it that made my heart lurch, as though he was committing the scene to memory.
Before I could look away, Clara caught us, taking a pause as I hurriedly shifted back to Jean, listening to her own tattoo stories.
‘Jesse got his first tattoo right after his first bull ride,’ Clara said quietly as we got up, Jean declaring it was time for us all to have some lunch inside. ‘You seen that one yet, Hestia?’
‘Oh – yeah, the one on his back . . .’ I began, coming to an awkward stop as I realized what she’d made me reveal, given there was no way I could’ve seen it without him being topless.
Jesse laughed as he got up, rolling his eyes at both sisters and their barely suppressed smiles.
‘Sorry, honey, I couldn’t resist it,’ Clara apologized, touching my shoulder, a sheepish edge to her grin.
I tried to smile back, but mortification was slowly curdling my insides. Everything about today was off, the usual defences and deflections just out of my reach.
‘All right, enough – get inside before I start airing out all ofyourstories,’ Jesse threatened, towering over us and coming to a stop directly behind me. ‘And Clara, you best be afraid. Don’t think I don’t remember your dating chaos.’
As she protested, Belle and Jean chiming in with stories, I tried to follow, stopping abruptly as his arm wound around my waist.
‘Don’t you feel embarrassed about anything we’ve done,’ he whispered in my ear, not missing the way my eyes closed for a moment, opening straight into his as I turned my head back slightly. ‘They love calling me out for my past, that’s all. I wouldn’t undo you seeing my tattoos for all the money in this world.’
