Some of the group struggled.Claire, usually one of the strongest hikers, had slowed, her breath coming in sharp gasps.Jade had stopped talking, her usual easy-going energy replaced with quiet determination.Amara, the quieter member of the group, was now silent.Even Mandy looked serious, her usual bright encouragement replaced by short, sharp instructions – where to step, how to balance on the loose ground, and when to take a break.Gen and I kept an eye on Amy, not wanting to patronise her or presume she was weaker, but just to keep an eye on her breathing.But she kept going, and I was so incredibly proud of her.At one point, I paused as she laced up her boots.When she rose, she gave me a tired smile.
‘I’m so proud of you, Amy.You know that, right?’ I pulled her into a quick hug.‘You are incredible.’
Amy’s smile widened.‘Thanks, Lydia.’
My heart wanted to burst as we joined the group, Amy keeping up with them easily, and it struck me that I’d had something to do with it – I’d given her the tools to become stronger, fiercer.
Maybe I could do that with my own gym?
Ren and I pressed on, our legs burning, our boots scraping against the rock.My lungs ached with the effort, and I could feel sweat cooling against my back despite the chill in the air.
I glanced at Ren.He was tired, too.I could see it in the tight set of his jaw, the way he kept rolling his shoulders as if trying to shake out the ache from his back.But there was something else too.That stubbornness, the quiet perseverance that was always there, was buried beneath his usual nonchalance.
The last few feet were the hardest.The air was thinner up there and every breath felt like trying to sip through a straw.My legs felt leaden, my steps slow and deliberate as we climbed the final rise.
Then, suddenly, we were there.
The summit.
A rugged plateau of stone, a small cairn marking the highest point in the UK.And beyond that, nothing but the sky.
Ren turned to me, hazy mist behind him at this height, a wide smile on his face.
‘You did it.’ He pulled me close as if he couldn’t hold himself back.
I tilted my head to glance at him, as we faced the view before us – a blend of white mist, blue skies, and green below.It was breathtaking, even more so with Ren’s arm wrapped around my shoulder.
‘We did it.’
Three weeks of aching muscles, sleepless nights, blisters, and self-doubt had led to this.Tomorrow would be a leisurely walk around Glencoe, but this?This was the showstopper.
And then, all at once, the weight of everything hit me.
The last year.The fights.Losing my job.Losing Ren.The slow, exhausting climb – not just up this mountain, but back to myself.I knew exactly where I’d be if I hadn’t taken this trip.I’d still be in bed or back working for someone like Craig again, bending over backwards to please a manager who made my life miserable – still playing it safe, scared to take risks, terrified to rock the boat.I would have been stuck coasting through life, smiling when I was supposed to, nodding along, and making sure I never made things too difficult for anyone.
But this trip had dragged me out of my comfort zone, kicking and screaming.It had forced me through blisters and nights in cold tents, aching muscles and muddy fields, and long stretches of silence where I had no choice but to sit with myself.It had shown me I was stronger than I ever gave myself credit for.And without it, I would never have found my way back to Ren.
I looked at him then, standing in front of me.The sun lit him, breaking through in soft, golden streaks.If I hadn’t done this, if I hadn’t taken that first step, I might never have realised he wasn’t lost to me.And that I had been too afraid to reach for him.
The weight of it hit me all at once.My throat tightened, my eyes burned, and before I could stop them, tears slipped down my cheeks.
Ren’s face softened.He pulled back just enough to see me properly, his thumb brushing my cheek.
‘Hey, what’s this about, huh?’ His face grew more grave.‘Why are you crying?Did you hurt yourself?’
‘No, no!’ I let out a shaky laugh, ‘They aren’t bad tears.I – I just realised.This trip hasn’t just been about being lost or confused.It wasn’t about Casey or Craig.It was about finding myself again.And it was about finding you too.Falling for you again.’ Tears rolled down my face, ‘I love you, Ren.And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.I want to wake up next to you every day.I want to walk Peggy to the park and make shopping lists of things we need.I want to buy a house and get Kat to decorate it, because you know neither of us has a clue.I want to watch you open Everly Heath Farm and make it a success, because you will.’ I laughed, tears streaming.‘I’m sorry if I’ve dragged my feet and put you through the wringer.But I’m here now.I love you.’
The words felt green – after all, I’d never said them to anyone else before.They made my heart hammer against my ribs and my legs felt a bit like jelly.But the love beamed from my chest was steady and sure.Ren’s eyes searched mine, as if he was trying to tell if this was real, then his face broke into the most beautiful, heart-stopping grin.And then my face was in his palms, and he was kissing me.
Somewhere behind us, someone whooped.Then another.I turned to see and then the whole group was cheering and clapping alongside some other hikers, who looked bemused.I turned back to Ren, whose eyes hadn’t left me.
‘I love you so much, Lydia,’ he said, laughing softly, emotion catching in his throat.‘You have no idea how many times I’ve wanted to tell you – I almost blurted it out at the social club the other night.I mean, Kat and Liam already know because once I’d admitted it to myself, I had to tell someone.’
I laughed, my eyes wet.‘So everyone in Everly Heath knows at this rate.’
Liam and Kat were discreet, but I’d bet someone would weasel it out of them with some choice questions.
Ren gave me a rueful look.‘Sunshine.They knew anyway.They just have to look at how I look at you and realise it.’ He kissed my cheeks, then my eyelids, until I was laughing again.‘If you give me the chance, I won’t mess this up again.I promise you that.I’ll spend every day showing you just how much I love you.You can count on that.’
