In a flurry, I pulled off my jumper and jeans, followed by socks and boxers, leaving them in a dishevelled pile next to Lydia’s, and made my way into the water, half hard.Although, I was sure the cold water would do something about that.
I watched Lydia eye me as I stepped into the loch, her blue eyes fiery and intense.I did my best not to show how chilly the water was.The sun was gone now, and the water was a dark blue, and surprisingly clear.
I swam closer to Lydia, as she treaded water.
‘You should have told me about Nocturne.’
‘I know.’
‘What was it like?Living out there?Working there?I always wanted to ask your dad or Liam how you were doing, but I chickened out.I was worried you were blissfully happy, travelling the globe.I wish you’d told me about the job.It’s really impressive, Ren.’
I swam closer, and our legs grazed.I wanted to grab her, and wrap those legs around mine.But I wanted to let Lydia lead.
‘I was miserable.The owner, Andrea, had approached me at the Worlds.’
The competition brought together all the best bartenders in the world, to compete for the world title.As I had won the UK title, I competed and lost.But Andrea had seen my cocktail and the recipe, and had been impressed.
‘She asked if I wanted a job.At the time, I’d said no, because Liam and I were already planning to open Lily’s.She accepted, but then I called her again once I could see Liam was wavering.She set me up in a little apartment in Mexico City.It was beautiful.It was chaos and colour all at once, like a living mural.It was loud and bright and alive… but in the best way.’ I hesitated.‘I’d – I’d love to take you one day, if you wanted.’
Lydia gave me a soft smile.‘I’d love to.I’d love to see where you were building this life, making friends—’
‘It wasn’t a life, Lydia,’ I said, floating closer to her.
My hand grazed her waist.I allowed myself that little touch.Her eyes heated.
‘It was great to pretend I was someone else for a while.But it didn’t fill me up.Nocturne was just a bar.Mexico City was just another place.And all I could think about was you.I wished you were there with me.I missed you.God, I missed you.I thought of you every day.Wondering what you were doing, how you felt about me.I’d spin nightmares, imagining how much you hated me.Convinced myself you had moved on, and probably found better than me.Andrea,’ I chuckled.‘Well, it was so bad Andrea sat me down and said that while I was doing the job fine, I didn’t seem right.She was right.I was just going through the motions.’
Lydia nodded, her hand coming to my wrist.She pulled me closer, and I almost wept when she wrapped her hands around my neck.Her blue eyes tracked me.
I almost groaned, ‘Lydia.What are we—’ I squeezed my eyes shut.‘If this isn’t going anywhere, I – I don’t think we should be doing this.I’m not sure I could take it.Having you here, naked, and then having to pretend we’re nothing—’
She answered with a kiss to the corner of my mouth.
‘I know about Niall.The calls you made.He called me after our fight and offered me Craig’s job.To manage the gym myself.’
My eyes widened, and I let myself tug her into my arms and spin her around.She giggled.
‘Are you serious?’ I pulled back my hands in her hair.‘Are you going to take it?’
She sobered.‘I’m not sure.After this trip – well, it’s got me thinking more about doing something for myself, you know?I’m wondering if it’s worth the risk, if it means it’s mine.If it means no one can take it away from me again.I put ten years into Momentum and Niall didn’t know about what Craig did – but it still happened, you know?My job, gone, poof.’
I nodded, pulling her legs to wrap around mine.I held her up, keeping her away from my growing erection.I didn’t need a distraction… right now at least.
‘I think that’s amazing, Lydia.’ It was my turn to kiss the side of her mouth.Slowly, like she might pull away.She let me, so I kissed her cheek, then her forehead and her neck.Small, little kisses that I hoped conveyed how much I loved her, even if she wasn’t ready to hear the words yet.
‘I want to say thank you,’ Lydia murmured as I peppered kisses.‘No one has ever done anything like that for me.Taken matters into their own hands, you know?’
I pulled back, running my thumb over her cheek.
‘I would do anything for you.No, I’m serious, Lydia.If I haven’t made this abundantly clear – I’m in this.I’m ready for us.Properly this time.No more false starts.No more keeping our feelings locked away out of fear of losing each other.Because you aren’t going to lose me, okay?’
I kissed her softly, our tongues barely grazing, then I placed my forehead against hers.
‘I’m glad Niall came to his senses and fired that arsehole.’
Lydia hummed.‘Just a shame I didn’t get to have it out with him.’
My mind whirled with plans to correct exactly that.
