Lydia
At some point during the night, I’d stripped off the sleeping bag.The cool draught of the morning air hit my bare legs.Legs that were resting on top of something stronger, harder.Warmer.Something heavy sat on my stomach, but I liked it.It was soothing, like a weighted blanket.The soft rhythm of breath, in and out, had been the soothing score to my sleep.
Open your eyes,my brain demanded.So I did.
A dark mop of hair was buried in my neck, my throat.It was the steadiness of their breath I could feel now.
Ren.
Ren was wrapped around me like a vine, his arm draped over my chest, my leg tangled with his.We were angled towards each other as if this was mutual – like both of our subconscious minds wanted this.God, he felt so good.Just the smell of him.That smell had so many memories wrapped up in it.It was enough to make me want to sigh.I couldn’t help but feel how my body lit up like fireworks just to have him near me.
No, this was wrong.
He was asleep.He didn’t even know what he was doing.I squeezed my eyes shut.Stupid, stupid, Lydia,my brain shouted,getting set to get her heart broken all over again.
I shifted, but Ren gripped tighter and made a sound in his throat as if he was waking from a deep dream and wanted to go back to sleep just to find out what happened next.
‘Lyd,’ he murmured.
Was he dreaming?His hand moved, skating over the exposed skin on my stomach, where Ren’s band t-shirt had ridden up.My back arched.His palms were large and warm, and I remembered, distantly, the way they had made me feel once upon a time.
Ren paused at the arch of my back.He was awake.I was sure of that now.And I was sure we were back here again, balancing on that line between whatever we were now andmore.
‘Lydia,’ Ren’s lips moved against my neck at the words.‘I need you to move away from me right now.’
My breath caught at the sound of the gravelly desire in his voice.I could feel him, hard, against my leg.I felt like the last bit of chocolate melting slowly into the fondue.Softening, molten, malleable.
‘Lydia.Please.’ Ren groaned, the noise shot low within me.
I was sick of this ache.I was sick of hating myself for wanting him.I was sick of not being able to do anything about it.I’d been staring at him all week.Wherever I was, he was there.He was walking ahead of me, handing me precisely what I needed whenever I needed it.He was helping the ladies with every whim, carrying Amy’s bags or making Jade and Claire laugh, that charming, boyish grin on his face.He’d even won over Gen, who gave him a begrudging smile when he shared funny stories from our childhood.And our talk last night had softened something in me.Something I’d been stubbornly clinging to for the last year.Ren’s words, murmured in the dark of the tent, echoed through my head.
Anything.Anything you want.
And boy, did Iwant.
So it was his own fault when one of my legs snaked down to lock with his.I shoved him on to his back, my face inches away from him.His eyes widened as they scanned my face.
His hand came up to my hair, tucking it behind my ear.His face was tender and tentative.As if he didn’t want to scare me off.As if he’d already pictured this scenario a hundred times and lost each time.
‘So that’s how it is, huh?’ he murmured.‘Trying to kill me?’
‘Maybe you deserve it,’ I murmured back.
‘Oh, I do not deserve this.’ He leaned in to drag his lip across my neck.‘I’ve never deserved you.’
‘Ren.’
‘Lydia.’
‘If you don’t kiss me in the next three seconds, I’m leaving.I’ll go and find another tent and—’
He pulled my hair into his hand, causing me to gasp, as he angled my lips directly to his.
‘If you leave me, I’ll drag you back in front of everyone.By your ankles.’
A laugh bubbled out of me, at the same time as desire burned through me at what Rencoulddo with my ankles, or my wrists, if we had time, much more time, to play.
‘What an image!The girls would be scandalised.’
