Her eyes flicked to the pot on the stove, then quickly away.‘Not that.This.Us. What exactly is your play here?’
I raised a brow, but she barrelled on.
‘You say you just want to be my friend.Then you flirt with me.You touch me.And at the top of Mam Tor we—’
Her mouth snapped shut like she could take the words back.
I stepped closer.She didn’t move or breathe.And I saw it then.The panic and the ache she was trying to hide under all that fire.
I tilted her chin with my fingers, slowly and gently.‘Look at me.’
Her wild blue eyes met mine.
Home, I thought.These eyes werehome.
‘We almost kissed,’ I said, voice low.‘You can say it out loud, Lydia.God knows, I’ve thought of nothing else since I drove away.’
Her eyes narrowed, smacking away my hand.‘And what if we had kissed, Ren?Would you have disappeared again?’
I rubbed a hand across my mouth.‘No, Lydia.I’ve told you.I’m here.I’m not going anywhere.’
Her voice cut through me, hard as steel.‘This could never work.And it’s not just us, you know.We’d be dragging everyone into it – Mum and Dad.Kat and Liam.Your dad too.If we messed this up again—’
‘We don’thaveto mess it up again.’
She shook her head.‘We already did.We ruined the friendship the night we—’ she broke off, jaw tightening.A long breath.Then her eyes found mine.
‘When you woke up in my bed,’ she said quietly, ‘and left without a word.’
‘I left a note—’
‘Oh, fuck your note!’ she spat out.‘It didn’t say anything, Ren.It was a collection of bloody riddles.I couldn’t make head nor tail of it.All I know is you got on a flight.I don’t even know where you were.I didn’t know who you were with.If you were safe—’
Her voice broke at the last word, and so did my heart.So I took a calculated risk.I stepped forward, cradling her jaw in my hands.And I wagered wrong, because she pulled away like I had scorched her.
‘I don’t want your sympathy.’ She rose from the bar stool, stepping into my space.Did she know she was doing that?‘I want to know what you think will happen once we’refriends. What is your play?’
‘I never said I had a play, Lydia.’
‘Then why do you keeplookingat me?’ she snapped, her cheeks pink.Her fiery blue eyes didn’t leave mine, and I was transfixed.‘You keep looking at me.Touching me.You’re always there, helping, being—’ she gestures to me.‘Being you.It’s insufferable.I can’t stand it.’
‘Sounds like I’ve got under your skin, Lyds.’
She scoffed.I take a step closer, and her face drops.
‘Good.Because you’re under mine.I tried to escape it.I tried to convince myself I could stay away from you.I tried to convince myself that I could move miles across the globe and not think of youevery single fucking day. But guess what?I was wrong.So fucking wrong.So if I have to be your friend, then fine.I’ll take whatever you give me.’ I stepped forward, my eyes blazing up and down her.‘But let’s not pretend it’s gone.This.’ I take her hand, bringing it to my chest so she could feel my heart race for her.‘Let’s not pretend that whatever we started that night, whatever has always existed in some way between us, whatever I ran from like a coward, isn’t still here.Because it is.’
Her face was angled up, her eyes shifting between mine.Her chest heaved like mine.She wet her lips.
‘You have no idea what you do to me.How much I want you.’ I said it low, rough with truth, every word peeling off a layer I’d been hiding behind.It felt reckless.It feltright. ‘When you pull your hair up into a ponytail, I want to wrap my hand around it badly.When you glare at me for being helpful, I want to kiss the look off your face.When you laugh, your face lights up.When you’re jealous…’ She let out a puff of indignant air.‘Even if you won’t admit it.You have no idea how much Iwant– and how much of it is not friendly.’
She sucked in a breath.
‘So you’re right.We can’t be friends.Maybe I lied.To myself, more than anything.I’m not sure I can everjustbe friends with you, Lydia.But I know that if you rip this cord, this connection between us, I’m not sure I’ll survive it.So I’ll give whatever morsels you’ll give me.’
My gaze dropped to her lips.‘And you should know.All I can think of right now is how much I want to kiss you – and how I know you want to kiss me too.’
Lydia’s eyes shifted to my lips and it took everything I had to hold still.Time stretched between us.
