I gave a humourless laugh.‘You’re wrong.So wrong.’
Liam’s voice was low.‘I’ve just never heard you admit it.I suspected, obviously.But I’d figured you were just messing with her.Flirting.’
My stomach sank.This was my brother, and this was his low opinion of me.Some dickhead who’d mess with Lydia just for the fun of it.
But isn’t that what you did?A dark, gleeful voice echoes around my head.
Yes, I did.I deserve this.I deserve this feeling of worthless-ness.
Lean into it.Feel it.The voice chanted.
‘You did something.’ By some miracle, Liam’s perception decided to rear its head.‘You made a mistake and now you don’t know what to do.’
‘Bingo.Would you like your prize?It’s a front-row ticket to my pathetic life.’
‘God, you’re dramatic.’ Jack’s lip twitched, but he had the sense not to laugh directly in my face.
‘Have you tried to fix it?Make it up to her?’
‘Liam, she won’t even speak to me.How am I supposed to make it up to her when she won’t stay in the same room?She’s literally nicking the rota off Kat just to avoid me at Lily’s – tell me that’s not extreme.And if we do accidentally bump into each other, she keeps me at arm’s length with that sunshine routine she saves for charity fundraisers on the high street.’
‘Come on.You’ve got to think bigger.When I wanted Kat to move up here, I didn’t justsayit – I renovated her house based on her designs and built her a studio in the garden for her business.It wasn’t about promises.It was about action.I gave her a reason to stay.’
I wanted to point out that, judging by the look on Kat’s face when she looked at Liam, she would have lived in a yurt if it meant being with him.
‘One word,’ Jack announced.‘Grand gesture.’
‘That’s two words, genius.’
Liam nodded.‘Grand gesture is the way forward.’
‘If I go with some big grand gesture right now, when she can barely look at me, she’ll destroy me.No.No way.’
Jack chewed his lips, and Liam was thinking so hard he looked constipated.
‘Fine.You’re probably right.But you need to find a way to get through to her.’
‘Pssst.’
The hissing sound had all of us looking around the room.
‘Psssssst.’
‘Are you hearing that?’
‘Oi!’ Sandra barked, coming out from behind the bar.‘I was trying to be subtle, but you lot have thick skulls.’
Sandra wore her half-pinny to keep her smart trousers clean from spilt beer.Her short, quaffed blonde hair was in its usual style, and today, she wore a striped white-and-black jumper and a scowl on her face, as if we’d ruined her fun.
‘All right, Poirot.’ Liam’s voice was laced with humour.‘What’s up?’
‘Ren.’ Sandra angled her head.‘A word.’
She said the last word firmly, transporting me back to when I refused to eat my greens or when Lydia and I had stolen sips of port from the sideboard in their front room.
‘She – she wants to speak to me?’
‘She said your name, so I’d say yeah.’
