“Welcome to Inclined Burgers,” the kid shouts unnecessarily. “Would you like to try some garlic fries today?”
“Based on the smell.” Xolotl cringes. “It seems he’s tried them.”
I laugh. “I think we’ll have the regular fries and two double inclined burgers, hold the onions.”
“Are you eating all of that?” Xolotl arches one eyebrow. “Because I hope you didn’t just order for me.”
I pay, ignoring him, and then I walk toward the tables. It’s not busy in here, which is good. I’d be worried about any sideways glances or mistimed comments making Xolotl even crankier than he already is. “Let’s sit here.” We’re facing the back windows that helpfully overlook an unsightly alley. “You, here.” I point at the bench seat.
“Are you arranging me so I can’t see any of the humans?” His lip twitches. “Because you know I can feel them.” His hands flatten on the faux-wood tabletop. “All of them.”
“Let’s talk about the burgers.” I ignore his ominous threat. “You said you don’t eat, but can you eat?”
“Can I put things in my mouth, chew, and swallow?” He grimaces. “Presumably, but why would I? I require no such sustenance.”
“How do you know?” I ask. “And as to why, you could do it because it’s fun. It feels good. It passes the time. Humans like eating.”
He glances at someone quite large who just squeezed past us. “Some of you like it far too much.”
“Hey.” I glare. “Listen, hundreds of years ago, you probably slaughtered tons of emaciated, starving people. Now we can feed the whole world, so the problems have swung the other way. We’re so good at making food that we have too much, and when people have a hard day, or week, or month, maybe we eat a little more to feel better than we strictly should.”
“I don’t eat.” He’s remarkably detached about it. “My energy comes from other sources.”
“Like killing people?” I hiss.
A half-dozen heads snap our direction.
“Didn’t you say we shouldn’t draw attention to ourselves while we’re operating under a negotiated ceasefire?”
“Why have you really kept me alive, if all you want to do is kill people, and all I want to do is save them?” I sigh. “What’s really going on?”
Xolotl spreads his hands. “You amuse me, and nothing has amused me in quite some time.”
Great. I’m a circus act. They call our number, so I stand. “You, wait here. No offing anyone until I get back.”
His eyebrows shoot up. “When you return, I can off people?”
I roll my eyes. “You knew what I meant—don’t break the rules while I’m not here.”
He’s smiling when I duck around the corner to grab our huge, meaty burgers. Apparently the Inclined burger has a lot of meat with cheese. I grab ketchup and mustard—you never know—on my way back. At least it smells good when I plonk it down on the table.
“Alright, now. You haven’t tried eating, so you might like it, and I’m claiming this is part of our deal.”
“Are you trying to show me that the world is a good place to try and change my mind about killing it off? And your weapon of choice is this?” He pokes at the burger basket.
It sounds stupid when he puts it that way.
“Or are you trying to turn me into a human by feeding me human food so that I won’t want to destroy them anymore?”
“Can I turn you mortal? Like humans that eat food in the faerie realm?”
“The what?” Xolotl looks confused.
“Forget it.”
Our neighbors are definitely pointing and staring, but they’re teenage girls who look like school just let out, and they’re hungry. I can’t tell whether it’s the bizarre things he keeps saying, like ‘destroy them,’ or whether it’s just that he’s stupidly hot.
“Is something wrong?” He turns to look at the table, and they burst into giggles.
