Managing to surprise me, Bellamy steps slightly in front of me. As if to shield me. With her hands spread to the sides but held low — placating rather than overtly casting — her attention is riveted to the berserkers. Not that an awry of her power needs her hands to cast essence. Or at least she wouldn’t if Bellamy channeled her power properly instead of insisting on cutting herself or others to harvest life force.
Apparently that’s still bothering me.
I press my hand to Bellamy’s shoulder, guiding her back with me as I cross toward Reck and the SUV. The berserkers track our movement but still don’t attack. The two teenagers are pressed together in the back seat of the vehicle. DeVille crowds against Presh, leaving her with barely enough room to peek over his shoulder with wide, dark-purple eyes.
Reck has pulled his essence-imbued tasers, one in each hand. “No, Zaya,” he says without looking away from the portal and the berserkers. “I’m not taking the traitor with us.”
“Fuck you, asshole,” Bellamy snarls. “I fucking risked everything to save —”
“Yourself,” Reck snaps.
“I can kill them, you limp-prick asshole,” Bellamy mutters. “I fucking made them. Those little zappers are useless, and you fucking know it.”
“Get in the SUV, Zaya,” Reck says, ignoring the dire awry, though he does drop the tasers into his pockets to free up his hands. His Authority-issued suit must be imbued with some type of expandable charm, because his pockets still appear empty on the outside.
“So they can chase us?” Bellamy says mockingly. “Run us off the road and risk baby sister?”
“I’ll take care of it,” I say mildly.
Oddly, Reck flinches. “You don’t know who’s about to walk through that fucking portal, Zaya.”
“I have a pretty good idea, actually.”
“That’s not enough,” Reck snarls. “He’s already playing games, making us wait while he lines up his toy berserkers.”
“Holding open a portal takes a fuck-load of power. Even for him. And concentration,” Bellamy says, side-eyeing me, then swallowing. “Add in the six unhinged assholes he’s let out of their cages but has otherwise somehow leashed, whether you can see it or not —”
Reck snorts belligerently. “There’s nothing you can say that will convince me you’re not part of this.”
“I am,” Bellamy says agreeably. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t have my own agenda. Especially since Zaya —”
The energy of the portal condenses for a tense moment. The six berserkers go utterly and creepily still, but nothing else shifts within or through the portal’s depths.
“Or maybe he’s taking care of the dragon and the gryphon first … and …” Bellamy starts patting herself, arms then pockets, not finishing her earlier thought. “Where the fuck is my knife?”
At the mention of my two other soul-bound mates, I take a moment to look at Reck. Really look at him. He’s gorgeous, even with that sneer permanently etched across his face. Dark-olive skin, dark-brown hair, sharp featured. Full lips.
“What?” he snaps.
“I’m going to my death,” I say mildly.
He blinks, half turning to me and slightly disconcerted.
“The universe didn’t want me with you at all,” I say. “From the moment you pulled up at the Outcast pack house. And outright defying the universe usually has deadly ramifications, most specifically for me.”
“What?!” Reck practically shouts. “What the fuck, Zaya! Why did you —”
“I probably won’t remember any of this the next time we see each other. I won’t remember you.” My chest tightens painfully, right over my heart, making my next words on the edge of breathless. “I might not … I’m not certain the soul bonds outlast my death. In theory, they should. But I’ve already lost Rought once, lost all three of my soul-bound mates once. And if I die, I might never find them again. You again.”
“This … isn’t fucking funny, Zaya.” Reck clenches his teeth, tension etching through his jaw and neck. He grinds through his next words. “I’m not playing this fucking game.”
“All I’m saying is …” I falter for a moment as the energy from the portal shifts again. Perhaps as the anticipated arrival steps into it. That seething power skitters over me, intense and … so wrong. Just wrong, wrong. Muta cinches around my neck, keeping me anchored in the now.
I look back at Reck, urgency and an odd fear threading through me. A soul-wrenching anticipation that I’ve never felt before.
At least … not as an adult.
“I’d kiss me now,” I say, stopping myself halfway through reaching for Reck, my hand hovering between us. “We might never get another chance to say goodbye properly.”
