“I’m not nervous,” I respond.
“I didn’t say you were.”
“Good, ‘cause I’m not.”
He lets out a quiet hum, not convinced. I feel his eyes on me even when I turn away, even when I move to the sink and start rearranging dishes that don’t need rearranging.
My hands won’t stay still.
Za’s coming back.
And I don’t know what that means for us anymore.
Jabari pushes off the couch and walks over slowly. He stops behind me, rests his chin against my shoulder, his hands settling at my waist. I relax a little.
“You’re excited,” he says quietly.
I don’t answer.
Because I am.
Because some part of me—the very stupid, hopeful and stubborn part—thinks maybe we’ll just… fall back into it. That she’ll drop her bag, take one look at me, and everything between us will stitch itself back together again. I mean, it’s not like she was gone forever.
Nine months on tour and a few more months bouncing between projects and rehearsals. Text messages here and there. Occasional calls when the time zones lined up and neither of us felt too awkward to answer.
It all leads to this.
“I hope she still likes me,” I confess.
“You kidding? Shelovesyou.”
I scoff.She used too.Now she’s okay with me.
Sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision back then, if playing neutral when she needed me to choose was smart. Then I realized if I was complicit, she would have never stood on her own two feet.
I would never give myself a true chance at love.
And two of us would be in our flat, stagnant in life because we were comfortable in our shell, relying on only each other.
So much has changed since then.
I’ll be in California soon to meet with Imaginate for the Obsidian collab. I can’t believe theElliot Greenewaited for me to wrap up my projects to focus on this.
He really is a patient man.
But I decided not to keep him waiting anymore and hand the reins over to my team. Besides, the game that me and Jabari started had begun taking on a life of its own. It even is nominated forMost Anticipated Release.
I guess he manifested us working together after all.
Still, I wish Za was a part of this. Even though I know she’s finding her own success, mine feels hollow without her.
The buzzer cutsthrough the room and my whole body reacts before my brain does.
Jabari’s grip tightens just slightly then releases.
“Go on.”
I press a kiss on his cheek and skip to the door, my heartbeat loud enough I swear he can hear it from behind me. I don’t give myself time to think, I just open it.
