“It’s very fair,” I say. “You keep doing this. You keep forcing your way in without thought on who it affects.”
“I was just trying to be there for you!”
“Why?” I cut in. “You ain’t my friend, you ain’t my man and we sure as hell ain’t that close. I’m not a toy in need of fixing. I’m not your woman who needs defending. Got it?”
He laughs once, sharp. “Yeah, where was that energy when your legs were wrapped around my face?”
“That’s different and you know it,” I say. “Sex doesn’t mean you get access to everything else, or get to do shit like this.”
“So what, I’m good enough to fuck but not good enough to support you?”
“Don’t twist it.” I snap. “I don't need a man hovering over my career, I built this without you. I’ll be fine without you.”
Silence stretches between us and I feel empty. I’m so mad but not at him. Well, not fully. I’m mad at the world for not allowing me to have it all.
I just want… fuck. I wanna be happy. But I really don’t know how to be happy at this point.
“So. That’s it then.”
“It is,” I say. “You don’t fit into my life, Jabari. You keep trying to carve out space where there isn’t any. Just let me be.”
More silence.
For a moment I thought I’d awaken his former argumentative self and rip me to shreds. But instead:
“So what was all that talk the other night, then?” he asks. “About wanting each other? About not wanting this to end?”
I look away to keep the distance I want to create.
“That was emotional,” I say. “This is real.”
“You can’t even look me in the eye when you say that shit,” his voice hardens. “You’re so damn stubborn in your decision to be right, you’re choosing pride over us.Again. No one is gonna think whatever it is you just said about what’s going on between us. Nobody knows what goes on between us but you and me. All they see is me defending you. No one knows I’m investing.If it makes you feel better I’ll keep it that way. But you’re taking this media shit too personal, Frankie. What’s it you always say? ‘Don’t feed the trolls?’ But look at what you're doing. You’re letting them get to you, and convince you to leave me. You think I’m that disposable? Like I was just something fun you can throw away when the party stops?”
“I think you don’t listen,” I reply. “I told you not to cross business with pleasure.”
“And I told you I care about more than pleasure,” he snaps. “But you hear what you want.”
I look at him then.
“What I hear is a man who keeps pushing,” I shrug. “And I’m done being pushed.”
He stares at me, jaw clenched. “So that’s it, then.”
“Yes.”
“No fixing it.”
“No.”
He nods in understanding. “So say it.”
I don’t hesitate. “It’s over, Jabari.”
“And if I don’t agree?”
I meet his eyes. “Then you prove you never respected me to begin with.”
He takes a step back and his voice drops. “You really don’t see how hard this is for me.”
