Fuck. I’m so embarrassed.
I don’t want him to know what was said to me because it’s pathetic. And he’ll probably look down at me. I put too much effort into distancing myself from that insecure little girl he left behind to ever show a moment of weakness around him.
I look down, my fingers clutching Za’s hand a little too tightly.
“Let’s just go. I wanna go,” I mutter, hoping he’ll drop it, hope faded fast because I know him.
He doesn’t. He keeps staring, like he’s trying to will me to answer him.
“Which one is he?” He scans the room.
“It’s not?—”
“That one right there, big brother!” Za points towards the bar. “Bald cocksucker in the quarter zip.”
I grit my teeth and pull Za along. “Stop! We could just go!”
?“In a bit,” Jabari says, voice softer this time, a little coaxing as he holds up the bottle. “Let me return this.”
Then he disappears without another word. Vanished into the crush of bodies and strobe lights.
Zaza keeps glancing toward where he slipped through, arms folded so tight across her chest her nails are digging into her sleeves. I can’t tell if she’s worried or bracing for the fallout she thinks is coming.
Ten minutes drag by.
Maybe more.
My stomach is a tight, sour knot the entire time.
I keep replaying Benny’s voice in my head, that smug tilt of his chin, the way he looked me up and down like I was something he could mark down on clearance.
It’s stupid that it’s still bothering me. It’s even stupider that the thing echoing loudest isn’t what he said—it’s the way it made me wonder.
If a man like Benny thinks a girl my size should be grateful…what does Jabari think?
He comes back before I can deep it.
Jabari strides toward us with his shirt slightly rumpled, and his breathing uneven, but he looks… satisfied.
In a way that scares me.
“Let’s go,” he says, voice low.
Zaza doesn’t question him.
She just grabs her jacket. I do the same, even though confusion claws at the back of my throat.
We push out into the cool night air. The city hums around us, neon and noise and weekend chaos, but inside the car it’s dead silent.
I stare out the window, my reflection flickering over passing headlights. My chest feels tight in a way I don’t want to name.
After an eternity of silence, Zaza’s phone lights up.
She glances at it, then her eyebrows shoot up. “Woooow. Ain’t no way.”
Jabari finally turns, eyes flicking to her. “What?”
Zaza’s mouth drops into a shocked grin.
